Chapter 3: Watching from the Outside

At the height of the festivities, someone hollered from the back, “Kiss her already!” and the crowd whooped, champagne sloshing in their glasses. Laughter rippled through the room, glassware clinking. I pressed against the glass, watching the two in the center of it all, unconsciously holding my breath.

On the way here, I’d considered this possibility, but seeing it with my own eyes was still unbearable.

My fingers tightened around the windowsill. It’s one thing to imagine your old life going on without you, another to watch it unfold, technicolor and happy, while you press your nose to the glass.

Reason told me I shouldn’t feel this way—Derek had every right to start a new life.

I came back just to have him leave money for me. What was I even doing?

But my heart didn’t listen. Grief is like a stubborn old dog, refusing to leave the porch even after everyone’s gone inside.

Caleb noticed something was wrong. He leaned over, saw me crying, and immediately panicked.

“What’s wrong? If something’s bothering you, just say it. Don’t cry.”

He fumbled for a tissue, offered it awkwardly, his cheeks turning red. I wiped at my eyes, embarrassed.

I didn’t want to cry, but my emotions were out of control. Helpless, I forced a smile. “I’m fine, just moved, really.”

“You sure?” Caleb didn’t sound convinced.

I nodded. “Your uncle and aunt are so well-matched. I haven’t seen such a happy scene in a long time. It just got to me.”

Caleb was silent for a moment, then asked, “By the way, I still haven’t asked—what do you want from my uncle?”

At that moment, Derek and Lauren began toasting the guests.

The clink of glasses, the fake smiles—suddenly I felt like I was watching a play, and I was the only one who’d forgotten her lines.

Watching them, my hand unconsciously tapped the glass.

“Actually, it’s nothing special. I just want to ask him a few questions.”

“I don’t know when my uncle will be done. Why don’t you tell me, and I’ll pass on the message?”

I turned and looked at Caleb, whose eyes darted away. “You don’t want me to see your uncle, do you?”

Caleb hadn’t expected me to be so direct. He laughed awkwardly and explained, “Not exactly, it’s just—today’s his engagement. It’s best not to disturb him…”

He looked so earnest I almost felt bad for pushing.

I figured Caleb must know something.

But thinking it over, he wasn’t wrong.

I was from the other side. On such a happy day, I really couldn’t go and ask Derek why he hadn’t left me any cash.

“I wasn’t thinking. Sorry to bother you.”

I left those words and quickly exited the room.

I pressed my forehead to the cool glass, wishing I could disappear or, better yet, turn back time.

At the hotel entrance, Caleb chased after me.

He caught me just as I stepped into the warm, sticky night air, the party noise fading behind me.

“You haven’t eaten yet. Why are you leaving?”

“I—I didn’t mean to drive you away, don’t get the wrong idea.”

Looking at this boy who couldn’t hide his thoughts, I found it amusing and wanted to tease him. “Actually, I don’t need to eat.”

But Caleb said, “Then where are you staying? I can get you a hotel room.”

His concern was real, eyes earnest, hands fiddling with the room key in his pocket. I realized I had nowhere to go—dead girls rarely book ahead.

I couldn’t keep up with his train of thought, but his question was a good one.

Where would I stay tonight?

Mr. Blackwell had only given me three days. If things didn’t work out with Derek, maybe I’d have to ask Caleb for help.

I looked out at the neon-lit street, the promise of a city that didn’t care if you’d just come back from the dead. Sometimes, you have to borrow a little kindness just to make it through the night.