Chapter 8: My Voice, At Last

Tunde no expect me to talk like that, face change. Him eye blink, mouth open small.

"Aisha, anything you want since small, we dey give you. All of us dey pet you. But Halima different. Her parents sick, her small brother still dey school. She need this scholarship. Our family get money. Why you no fit help her?" Tunde voice be like person wey dey reason for him head. If e no win, dem fit drive am from hostel. I just wan help, Aisha.

"I think say you still kind as before, but I no know say you fit wicked reach like this." My sign language sharp, anger dey my face.

Even as mute, anger wan make me shout. My chest dey drum.

Na so person dey reason? My mind dey turn.

"If you wan do good, why you go use my thing go impress person? You ask me?" My hand dey ask, my heart dey burn.

Tunde just laugh, face show say he no send: "No be you talk say na gift for me?" His laugh short, like hyena.

"Since na for me, I collect am early, give another person. Na my wahala."

"No be say you like me? If you like me, you no fit give up small thing? Then your love no get value." He talk am like say love na transaction.

I slap am, vex. The slap loud, e echo for corridor. Some people turn look.

As I slap finish, tears just dey fall. My body dey shake.

So he know since. He know say I like am well well.

He know say I suffer write that song for am.

But he still carry am give another person.

He popular for secondary school, me I dey jealous. Him smile dey bring crowd, my silence dey chase people.

I go dey ignore am, but he go always come beg me.

He go hold my hand, say, "Na you I like pass, Aisha." The memory sweet, but pain dey join am now.

I too believe am, I too dey foolish. I trust am pass my own shadow.

So I like am, dey foolish, for years.

But today make me see say all the love na cruise.

Halima rush come hold am, dey scold me: "I no want your song again! Why you slap Tunde?" Her voice sharp, face red, like pepper touch her eye.

"Want am? I ever talk say I give you? Thief!" My sign language dey sharp, my eyes dey throw fire.

Musa wan hold my hand after I finish sign.

I break free, rush slap Halima too. The crowd shout, everywhere scatter.

Then, with all my power, I sign for them:

"Useless man. Shameless woman."

Na today I learn, for this Naija, no let anybody use your silence cover your pain. E good make you talk your truth, even if na only you dey hear am. For this Naija, silence no be weakness. Today, I find my own voice.