Chapter 5: Secret Games and Public Shame

6

Since graduation, nobody in our old circle knew about me and Lucas. I made sure never to approach him in public.

On campus, I kept my head down, taking the long way around the quad if he was with friends. The last thing I wanted was to be gossip fodder.

But wherever he went, girls swarmed. I always kept my distance.

From the library window, I watched girls in sorority sweatshirts crowd around him, tossing their hair, laughing too loud. My stomach twisted, but I never showed it. Jealousy was a luxury I couldn’t afford.

When he played basketball, girls screamed themselves hoarse, fighting to give him water and towels. I kept my eyes on my phone, pretending to text while my ears burned.

When leaving, Lucas suddenly brushed past me.

He was close enough for his cologne to fill my nose. My pulse raced, but I didn’t look up.

“Natalie, your man’s about to get eaten alive by those girls. Aren’t you jealous?”

He looked down, arrogant and proud, lips curled in a cold smile.

His friends snickered, but Lucas’s eyes locked on mine, daring me to answer wrong.

I clutched my sleeve, obediently shaking my head. “Lucas, you’re good-looking and from a good family. It’s normal for them to like you. I’m not jealous, as long as I can be with you.”

My voice was small but steady. I hated how weak I sounded, but at least it was honest.

I was so obedient, but Lucas didn’t look happy. He didn’t look at me, just walked away.

His shoulders tensed, jaw set. I bit my cheek, wondering if I’d said the wrong thing again.

I panicked, but Lucas still asked to see me that night. He seemed angry. By the end, my bones felt like they were coming apart. I sobbed, begging him to stop.

He barely spoke, just held me tighter, as if trying to erase something he couldn’t name. I let myself cry, hoping he’d forgive me.

But he said coldly, “Natalie, remember your place.”

The words stung like a slap. I just nodded, swallowing my pride with my tears.