Chapter 2: Exposed on Zoom

“It’s fine.”

“Pretty interesting.”

…

I could practically recite his responses by heart. I even started making bingo cards for his phrases. Carter and I had a running bet on whether he'd say "Mm" or "It's fine" first.

After chasing him for two months, I started to wonder if I was talking to ChatGPT or a mannequin. I was about to give up when, on February 14th—Valentine’s Day—I didn’t text him at all. Suddenly, he messaged me:

[Are you upset?]

I stared at the message for a full minute, stunned. Was he... actually worried? I showed Carter, who nearly fainted from shock.

Well, duh. After a wall of “mm” and “oh,” what girl wouldn’t be annoyed?

I rolled my eyes, venting to Carter over pancakes in the dining hall. The clatter of trays, the sticky syrup smell, and the squeak of plastic chairs were the soundtrack to my rant. "He acts like I'm a pop quiz. No wonder I'm annoyed."

I didn’t want to waste more time, so I just replied:

“Today’s Valentine’s Day. Only my boyfriend gets to ask about my mood.”

I hit send and tossed my phone onto the sticky table, feeling weirdly powerful. Like I'd just dropped the mic in a rap battle.

After sending that, I went to bed. Honestly, I figured this emotionally unavailable guy would just ghost me.

I lay there, listening to the radiator hiss, convinced I'd never hear from him again. I even drafted a breakup text, just in case—"Hey, I think we want different things," I typed, then hovered over delete before finally erasing it.

He just seemed so detached.

He was always in his own world, like he was tuned to a different Spotify playlist than everyone else.

But the next morning, I woke up to a new message. It was also the longest text Ethan had ever sent me:

[Then, can I be your boyfriend?]

I stared at my phone, jaw dropped. I showed Carter, who screamed into her pillow. It felt surreal, like a twist ending in To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before.

Logically, that should have been the happy ending.

If this were a rom-com, we’d get a freeze-frame and “Don’t Stop Believin’” would play as the credits rolled. But real life? Way messier.

But in the coffee shop, I slammed my phone down in frustration and complained to Carter:

“We’ve been together three months and I haven’t even gotten a kiss! Every day it’s either his internship or practice sets. If he’s not interning, he’s cramming for something. Now he even forgot my birthday. What’s the point of having a boyfriend like this? Might as well dump him and save myself the trouble.”

I thumped my fist on the table, rattling my Starbucks cup. A couple at the next table shot us a look. I didn’t care. "I mean, what am I even getting out of this? At this point, I’d rather binge The Office for the fifth time than deal with this."

Wanting but never getting is even more painful.

I stared at my reflection in the window, the ache in my chest sharper than I’d admit. It was like craving a warm brownie and getting a rice cake instead.

Carter blinked, still a bit shocked. “Is he... not into it? I heard if someone’s too tired, you know, that aspect—” Carter pursed her lips. “His major is brutal, maybe he’s just wiped out.”

She looked genuinely concerned, lowering her voice. "My cousin dated a pre-med guy—he once fell asleep in the middle of Olive Garden. Maybe it’s not about you?"

Just as she finished, a heavy breathing sound suddenly echoed through the cozy coffee shop.

We both froze, glancing around. It was so out of place it was almost funny.

I blinked. Who’s breathing so loud?

Carter mouthed, "Is it me?" I shook my head, totally confused.

I looked around—no one.

The barista was wiping down the counter, humming along to a Taylor Swift song. The couple next to us was deep in their own drama. Nothing seemed off.

I shrugged it off and kept complaining to Carter:

“Who knows if he’s okay or not. He won’t let me kiss or touch him, I can’t even see him every day. His conversations are so boring—besides telling me to study hard, he only ever says one word at a time. I’m seriously going crazy. I want to break up! Absolutely breaking up!”

I threw my hands up, exasperated. "At this point, I might as well be dating Siri."

“Mm...”

That breathing sound came again, faint and muffled.

Carter raised an eyebrow, whispering, "Okay, now it's getting creepy."

Carter sipped her coffee, giving me a look that said she felt my pain. “Hey, some campus heartthrobs are just busy, nothing you can do. So when are you going to tell him?”

She nudged my foot under the table, grinning. "You gonna send him a Google Calendar invite for the breakup, or what?"

I fiddled with the little charm on my tote—a limited edition Taylor Swift keychain, a gift from Ethan when we first started dating.

I ran my thumb over the enamel, remembering how awkwardly he'd handed it to me. "He said it reminded him of me. Guess he meant 'cute but mysterious.'"