Chapter 3: Viral Gist

Last last, my teammates tire, surrender.

You know as e be for Naija game. Once beating pass limit, everybody go just surrender make dem go chop.

I vex, just wan comot after match.

I pack my phone, reason say I go go drink zobo make body cool.

Na that time game invite pop up.

My mind just skip beat. This kain invite, I no too trust am. But dem catch me off guard.

Before I see who send am, I don click accept. Game start straight.

Omo, my finger too fast for this one. Before I fit open eye, I dey inside wahala again.

Na 5v5 custom room.

For Naija, custom room fit mean anything. Sometimes, e dey sweet, sometimes, na trap.

I just pick Adaeze anyhow. As loading screen show, na see Baby H and her national server Musa dey inside.

My heart just do gbim. I look my phone like say e go explain how I land for this mess.

Me: …

Sometimes, silence too loud. I just dey look my phone like say I go commot from screen.

E no go ever finish?

Omo, Naija wahala na spiral, e no dey finish. I just shake head, dey ready for anything.

As game start, dem just team up, dey chase me round the map.

Na so dem dey do tag-team, like two agbero dey drag one bus driver for Oshodi.

Anytime I die, Halima go drop another insult for chat.

You go think say she dey rehearse for one Nollywood audition. Her mouth no dey tire.

Finally, I no fit take am again.

Na so my patience scatter like fufu wey fall for sand. I just park for one corner, dey para.

I just park for one side, begin para for chat:

I ready. For Naija, when wahala don reach limit, person go just release am. I type fast.

“Yes, yes, continue dey make noise. Wetin dey special for following person up and down to climb rank? No be say you sabi.”

“You even carry your jungle guy enter custom game. If you get mind, 1v1 me.”

“All this your shakara, you sure say you don reach eighteen?”

Na so I yarn am. For Naija, person wey dey do over-sabi fit collect.

After I finish, I surrender, close game, no look back.

I no even allow am load finish. I just tap exit. Na Naija way, if e choke you, comot!

I think say na end be that.

I sigh, carry my mind go another place. But for Naija, drama dey get sequel.

But next day, my roommate send me video for WhatsApp:

My roommate, Oge, sabi where wahala dey. She just drop me message early momo.

“Morayo, na your game account be this? I remember say you dey use that name.”

If Oge notice, wahala don big. For hostel, anything wey Oge notice, na the whole school go soon hear am.

One kain feeling catch me.

For my body, na one kain cold dey run. Na so e dey be when wahala don pass your control.

I frown open the video.

My eye dey shake. For Naija, if video enter WhatsApp, story go viral quick.

Na stream recording.

E be like say dem dey collect evidence against me. My mind just dey jump.

One fine, innocent-looking girl dey front her computer, dey hold her phone, dey do like say she dey pity herself:

She just dey form angel. If you see her face, you go think say na only her dey suffer for this world.

“I just dey play with her. Why she vex like that? Even if I do too much, she no suppose curse me like that, abi?”

If you hear her tone, na real Lagos babe wey sabi act. E weak me. She dey play victim.

As she talk, she turn camera show my game ID.

Omo, as she zoom my ID, my heart just do turnioniown. For Naija, once your ID leak, your gist go spread like harmattan fire.

“She don block me already. Abeg, make una help me beg her. I no mean am, na just for stream.”

She just dey beg fans, dey form small pikin voice. Na real "I dey innocent" drama.

Video blow up, views reach tens of thousands.

For Lagos, if small thing go viral, you don enter wahala. For hostel corridor, everybody dey press phone, dey shout “see gist!” like NEPA bring light. Everybody for hostel dey watch the video, dey laugh, dey gist.

Plenty people rush comment:

If you see comment section, you go weak. Dem dey type with vex and laughter.

“This aunty too get thin skin. Small play she dey vex.”

“Person wey fit curse like that na trash. Why we go beg her?”

“She curse our Baby H? She don jam big wahala.”

“Her friend dey online. No fit curse her for game again.”

“No wahala, babies, I don find her Twitter and TikTok. Make we go find am.”

As I dey read, na so my head dey swell with anger. For Naija, online dragging dey serious, e fit make person delete app.