Chapter 1: Fine Men, Dark Secrets

In the third year of pretending to be a man—dey bind my chest with cloth every night, dey act like say I be born-man from cradle—and sneaking into the chief’s house as a guard, I somehow found myself tangled up with the chief’s favourite male companion.

My mind no rest since that day. I dey try act like say nothing dey happen, but deep down, my chest dey tight as if heavy stone dey press am. For this life, some wahala just dey find person whether you ready or not.

At first, I wanted to end things cleanly and just cut him off.

I reason am well, my plan na just waka jeje, face my work. If I even hear him footstep for corridor, I dey quickly hide, just to avoid story that touch. I no want make anybody suspect wetin no suppose.

But when he secretly held my hand, my resolve just melted again.

E shock me as him palm warm pass my own, and as e squeeze me small, na so all my sense commot window. Heart begin jump like say juju dey pursue me. Sweat dey my palm, I dey pray make ground swallow me if e catch me looking. All the strong mind wey I get before, na breeze carry am go.

Before I knew it, I had quietly committed a crime that could cost me my life.

Na so silent wahala start, the kain one wey if dem catch you, even your shadow no go pity you. My mind dey race, but body no gree follow sense.

CHAPTER ONE

The heat this dry season fit to kill person, but my heart cold like say dem dump am inside deep freezer.

Sun for this place dey burn like pepper, everywhere dry, even lizard dey find where to hide. But as I dey waka, sweat just dey my body, yet my mind cold—fear and worry hold me. E be like say rain never fall inside my chest since harmattan finish.

Since I landed in this world, I’ve always tried to keep my head down, mind my business, and behave myself.

Even for street, if person dey look for who go carry trouble, na me dem dey last notice. I dey always greet old women for gate, help carry load when rain dey fall—everybody sabi say my leg no dey waka where wahala dey. I sabi package myself, dey greet elders, no dey make noise for junction. Life hard, so I no dey find extra wahala.

People like me—we no dey look for wahala. In fact, we dey run from trouble pass anything.

If I hear two people dey argue for market, I go shift go another road. As my mama dey talk, "Na who run from trouble dey live to chop jollof for next festival." Na that advice I dey use hold body.

If person wan cross my boundary, I just shift am again. After all, for this era, human life no get value. If dem kill you for nothing, nobody go fight for you.

Here, pikin dey disappear, elders dey look another way. Even chief go just wave hand, wahala don settle. Sometimes, I dey wonder if this world dey play draft with our lives.

But out of all the mistakes wey I fit make, na to fall for the chief’s favourite I come do.

If to say na ordinary market woman, maybe the matter no go reach this level. But see as I enter big man wahala, na there my leg entangle.

Everybody for this Palm Grove Estate sabi say the chief dey like men.

Dem dey gossip am for beer parlour, even the town crier sef hint am for evening gist. For here, as long as you get money, anything fit happen.

He dey keep plenty fine men for the Hibiscus Court, all of them fine like say dem drop from heaven. If dem waka for market, even old mama dey forget to price yam.

The kain beauty some of them get, na only for new yam festival you fit see that kind shine. Dem waka like say ground dey bow for them. My eye no gree blink when I see them pass.

This month, dem post me for night duty inside the Hibiscus Court.

Na rare posting, dem no dey send anyhow person come here. I tie wrapper well, arrange my belt, dey pray say make I no fall hand.

That night, moon full well. From far, I see one man stand for the edge of the lily pond, hold bow and arrow, dey shoot at the flowers. The petals scatter, dey fall for inside water.

The moon light touch everywhere, make the water shine like glass. The man just dey show himself, his silhouette dey dance for pond like masquerade spirit.

The catfish wey dey inside pond just scatter, run commot.

You go hear the splash as the fish rush hide for under stone, as if dem sef dey fear fine man wahala.

When I first start this work, dem warn me say make I no go provoke anybody from the Hibiscus Court.

Dem say, "If you value your job, just pretend say you no get eye." Because for this house, the people wey get power pass fit just vex, and your family go hear bad news.

But na Mama Chiamaka dey always take care of the pond. If the steward see the pond like this tomorrow, he no go fit punish that man, but he go surely vent am for Mama Chiamaka.

Mama Chiamaka na person wey no get strong voice. Na she dey arrange the lilies, dey clean water, make everywhere fine for chief guests. If wahala jam her, nobody go defend her.

Mama Chiamaka na my neighbour and she don help me many times. I no fit just stand dey look make she lose her work.

She be like my aunty for this estate. Na her dey give me soup when food finish, dey mend my trouser. If dem pursue her, na me and small Chisom go suffer pass.

After the man finish his wahala, I quietly jump enter the pond, pack all the arrows, and pick the flowers wey fall.

Water cold reach bone, but I no mind. I dey think, "No be every fight be for yourself." I dey remember Mama Chiamaka soft face, the way she dey thank me for small help.

I whisper, "God, cover me. Make no evil eye see me tonight."

I tidy the place for long, before the pond come look normal again.

I bend, arrange every petal as I fit, my hand dey shake from cold. Even the sand for bottom, I sweep am with my palm. Na so I dey do, dey pray make nobody see me.

As I climb come out, water don soak me finish, the man just dey look me straight.

Him gaze dey strong, like say he fit see through my mind. Breeze from the pond blow, my wrapper cling to body, I dey shiver. E be like say world stop for that moment.

He come smile small.

No be ordinary smile. That kain smile wey dey make butterfly waka for belle, sharp like pepper, sweet like honey.

“So na you go run go tell steward say I scatter chief flower? You wan chop query?”

E talk as if e dey tease me, but I feel the warning for e voice. Na one of those senior pikin wey sabi play with fire.

God abeg, the man fine no be small. Like hibiscus spirit, but even more attractive—just one smile fit carry your soul go.

If to say beauty na curse, this one carry the full load. I fit swear say even mammy water for river go jealous am. As he dey there, e be like say time dey slow.

I blush, begin stammer: “N-no, the night breeze dey cold. Oga, abeg make you go inside quick.”

As I open mouth, my voice shake. I for like vanish that moment. Wetin concern me with fine man wahala?

He look me well, the smile disappear, face come cold. “And you, who you be? You think say you fit put mouth for my matter?”

His voice sharp, like razor blade. E be like say my presence dey vex am. Na so my chest begin catch cold pass before.

I reason am, he talk true, so I just turn waka commot.

Better make I vanish before wahala wear my name for forehead. I lock up, waka with quiet leg, no look back.

Next day, I go beg captain of the guards make dem transfer me from Hibiscus Court.

I use my best respect voice. "Oga, abeg, transfer me go outer gate. My chest no dey strong for night duty." The captain just dey look me, him no even send my reason.

I no fit get wahala with that kind person, but at least make I avoid am.

My prayer na say make I no see that man again, abeg. Life dey sweet pass death, especially when no be your matter.

But I no expect say after half month, I go jam that man again for night patrol.

I dey count my luck, but fate get another plan. Na so new chapter start for my mind, tension dey wait for corner.