Chapter 5: Danger in Beauty, Betrayal in Trust

After I gree engage Chiamaka, I return go chief house work.

I dey try behave normal, but mind still dey run. Even as I wear my uniform, my heart no settle.

After patrol, Musa drag me enter duty room, face serious.

Musa strong, if he hold you, na so so pain. I dey wonder wetin I do again, but him eye dey shine like torchlight.

“Ikenna! You dey craze? You go entangle yourself with person from Hibiscus Court!”

I surprise, mouth open. Na only me and hibiscus spirit sabi the matter. How Musa take know?

My heart jump. I don dey sneak for half month—how Musa take know?

I dey sweat, dey look left and right. If Musa fit know, who else fit suspect?

Musa vex, twist my ear. “You quiet like grave, even if person slap you, you no dey talk. But see big wahala you go enter! Sade just start to serve that man for Hibiscus Court! He tell Sade say if you no come see am, he go scatter everywhere for chief front, drag you join am!”

I feel say ground go swallow me. This kain talk na real threat. If chief hear, na burial straight.

My body cold.

Sweat dey pour from my armpit, but cold dey my skin. This one pass ordinary wahala.

The finer person fine, the more dangerous. Na so dem dey talk—fine face, wahala dey hide inside.

As dem talk for village, "Pretty masquerade fit carry coffin." I don see am with my own eye.

Wetin I do this man?

I dey replay everything for my mind—if na smile, if na help, if na just luck wey go bad.

We never even hold hand or kiss, he wan finish me. Na so life be?

Sometimes, trouble no need plenty reason. Even ordinary look fit land person for grave.

Musa look me up and down, shake head: “If you like men, abeg just go find one dancer, pay am. Chiamaka good woman, she no get wahala. But you just go hook yourself for chief’s man. Go beg am, slowly find way run commot.”

He dey talk like elder wey don see world. I know say him dey protect me in him own way.

My head dey pain me.

I no even sabi where to start. Life dey turn upside down, heart dey drag sense.

Wetin hibiscus spirit tell Sade? Nothing even happen between us, but see as Musa dey look me like say I give person belle.

This estate na place where even rumor fit kill person. I dey wonder who go believe my own side.

Musa use him power transfer me back to Hibiscus Court.

He go meet captain, use seniority take change my posting. No be small thing.

I waka enter hibiscus spirit room, ready to settle this matter.

My hand dey shake as I knock. I dey pray make the ground swallow me if trouble too much.

He sit by window dey drink. As he see me, he smile.

His smile na fire—e dey burn, e dey tease. Him dey sure of himself, as if he know say I go always return.

I kneel, beg: “Na lust blind me! Abeg, forgive me—after all, I save your life!”

Na true, but I dey hope say him go pity me. My voice low, I dey beg like small pikin for new yam festival.

He rest chin for hand, fine eyes dey look me well, like say him dey decide wetin to do with me.

His gaze dey cut deep, e dey weigh my spirit. My body dey tremble small.

After some time, he ask: “You don ever like another man before?”

His tone dey soft, but question get weight. I dey think how I go reply am.

I answer true: “I don like.”

My voice dey shake. I dey remember all the old memory for my chest.

Him eyes come cold, sharp like knife. He ask again: “You like am pass me, abi you like me pass am?”

His voice dey test my soul. I dey fear, but na small pride still dey hold my tongue.

How I go compare?

How person go judge two different fire? One na slow, one na thunder. I dey lost for words.

The one for Chijioke, na slow slow crush; this hibiscus spirit, na from first sight my body just dey hot. E no be the same.

If love get measurement, my own scatter for two direction.

I look am small, then decide to lie. “I no like any of you again.”

If truth go bury me, lie fit keep me alive—na that logic I use.

Truth be say, I like both.

Inside my chest, two fire dey burn. I dey hope say one go quench, but none gree tire.

Him eyebrow rise, he fling wine cup for me. “Who tell you say you fit stop to like me!”

Wine splash for ground, my heart nearly jump commot. This one no be small play, na true spirit wahala.