Chapter 4: Facing Destiny

But last last, I still call keke rush go Musa house.

For road, I dey pray small. "God abeg, make I no late." Every traffic light, every hold-up, e dey look like warning sign.

Musa dey big compound for outskirt, opposite side of town from me—very far.

That kain journey for night, e dey long. But my spirit no rest. I just dey look streetlight, dey count how many dem fit change before I reach.

I come dey wonder, how him dey feel anytime he dey cross city come see me?

E pain me say I no dey reason am before. All those times Musa dey come visit, dey smile small, dey act like say e no mean anything. But for him mind, e dey fight war.

After almost two hours, I reach.

Leg pain me, but I jump down from keke, no even count change. My mind dey for Musa.

Surprisingly, Musa family compound dey shine, security and house help never sleep.

Big big lanterns dey for gate, even gate man dey smile. People dey waka up and down, dey whisper. For their eyes, I see hope and small fear.

As dem see me, na so dem just dey happy.

For their body language, e be like say na me dem dey wait for since. Some dey almost clap hand, others dey nod.

"Aunty Ifunanya, abeg go see young master."

Dem dey rush me enter. Some dey try direct me, others dey open road.

"Young master don finally enter adulthood, but e bad well. He lock himself for room, no gree anybody enter..."

The worry for their face dey clear. For that compound, Musa na their pikin. Dem no wan make anything do am.

I rush go upstairs, stand for Musa door, knock.

My heart dey beat drum. For my mind, I dey reason say, "If Musa no open, I go break this door."

"Musa, open door."

My voice dey crack, but e loud enough. I dey pray say Musa dey hear am.

Inside, everywhere quiet small. As I wan knock again, door fly open.

The sound no loud, but e shock me. Musa just stand for there, dey look me.

Musa stand for my front, eyes red, only shirt for body, buttons all open.

E no wear shoe, e leg dey ground, e body dey shake small. I dey see all the small veins for e arm, the way spirit energy dey waka for e skin.

One kain sweet scent just hit me.

The smell dey different—like honey mixed with ogiri, strong but sweet, dey hook person nose. Just to breathe am, I begin dizzy.

My leg dey weak, but I hold door. I dey try balance myself. For that moment, I no know if na Musa dey do juju or na my own body dey betray me.

I no know why, but for this moment, Musa begin look fine.

All the small small things I dey ignore before—e soft lips, sharp chin, e tall frame—all of them just dey shine for my eye.

Before, anytime I see am, he dey always bend head, no dey look me.

Musa dey always act like shadow for room. E dey hide for himself, no dey talk pass two words.

Him long hair dey cover face.

E get that kain hair wey dey fall for face, like say e dey shield himself from world wahala.

Like one bat wey dey hide for corner, dey look me, e dey hard to like am.

That kain image dey stay for my head—Musa, the silent type. Sometimes, e even scare small pikin for street.

But now, hair scatter, sharp face show, cheeks red like sick person—e fine reach wild level, I just dey look.

My eye no gree blink. The beauty dey different. Na beauty wey dey grow as you look, not the one wey fade.

That moment, he hold doorframe, dey look me, but still talk with fear for voice.

E voice low, almost break. The kind pain wey dey inside, e fit cut soul.

"...Why you come?"

As e ask, my own chest dey heavy. I dey wonder if na pride dey make am talk, or na real pain.

No be you message me before?

I fit remember the text clear for my mind. That one no be mistake.

Why you dey ask now?

For inside me, small vex dey start. Why person go call you come, then dey ask you why you reach?

Anytime I face Musa, my body dey vex for nothing.

Na old habit, but tonight e dey loud. All the small wahala, all the memories—dem dey show for my face.

I push am small. "No be you message me, say make I come?"

I no gentle the push, but Musa no resist. E just dey look me, eyes dey shine with tears wey e dey hold.

"Abeg, I no fit come late, from east side of town reach your side?"

I try talk as if e no pain me, but my voice dey loud. Na frustration dey push me.

"Without me, you no fit pass adulthood?"

As I talk am, e pain me say I no show love, but my mouth no dey hear word sometimes.