Chapter 1: Canary Wahala

Crown Prince Kamsiyochukwu—who marry for politics, not love—kept a canary—his pet name for that influencer babe—pampering her till she begin walk like Lagos big madam, feathers shining as if sapa no dey touch her.

Some people talk say na only person wey never chop pepper fit dey form like that. For this city, everybody sabi the gist: Kamsiyochukwu no dey smile for anybody, but e dey treat that canary like egg, dey buy am all the fine-fine things. Even the canary don dey waka with big madam swag, gold coral beads full her neck as if she be chief wife for palace.

Just as I dey prepare to call off the engagement, my phone light up—comments just dey rush in:

[“Wetin the Crown Prince do? Na attention from you him dey find.”]

[“Abeg, sister, no break the engagement. If you just drop small tears, the guy go give you everything sharp sharp.”]

As I scroll, my hand dey shake small. All these online people sef, always ready with advice like say na dem dey carry my wahala. I look out window, mind dey race. I remember that one time Kamsiyochukwu buy me suya under rain, him umbrella cover both of us, him laugh sweet—my heart soft small. But the comment section just dey drag me, so I harden my mind, fingers tighten round my phone.

The canary dey shine, gold coral beads full her neck, her hand hook Kamsiyochukwu arm like say she don win jackpot.

For her mind, she don collect Olympic trophy. Everybody for café dey look, even waitress dey peep from corner, dey gist her colleague, “See as this babe dey flaunt her man.”

Kamsiyochukwu just dey look down at her lazy-lazy, as if e no concern am at all.

Sometimes, the way him dey act, you go think say dem carve am from iroko wood. Face straight, world na background noise. Only God know wetin dey run for him mind.

I smile and reply my lawyer’s message: “Continue with the breakup agreement.”

I add, “No go slow abeg. I want make e reach their hand tomorrow.” As I send am, breeze—mixed with jollof rice aroma and fried puff-puff—blow inside café, e be like say e carry away my last hope.

1

As soon as I finish, comments just burst:

[“How you go wicked like this, sis? The poor Crown Prince go enter bar go drink away him sorrow...”]

[“Chai, the Crown Prince just dey form hard guy, now e don lose him babe.”]

[“No wahala, the Crown Prince go just scatter your family business, you go beg am tire.”]

[“By that time, you go dey drag with other babes for him attention every day, and the guy go dey happy!”]

People dey carry my matter like market gist. I just hiss, vex dey catch me. My chest hot, hand dey tremble. If no be say I get home training, I for fling this phone throway.

I look sideways, eyes jam Kamsiyochukwu own.

Omo, the way him dey look me ehn—eyes sharp, face like say na movie he dey watch.

He raise eyebrow small, let the babe hold am, no even send whether I dey look. See this guy! No manners at all. My mama go talk, “This kain man, na only woman wey get strong mind fit survive.”

Maybe he notice my face don change, because him mouth just bend like person wey dey enjoy drama. E dey clear say he wan see my next move, like say he dey wait for wahala.

The canary—small internet celebrity—just dey attract crowd with am. Phones dey up, pictures dey fly. I hear small pikin shout, “Na dem! Na dem for online!” Two girls dey giggle, dey snap us for Snapchat. Café glass walls clear, so I dey wonder if dem don snap me join.

I hide face small, adjust my wig. Before I turn WhatsApp meme, I need japa.

I curse for mind, grab bag, call driver. I no wan wait again. E be like say even the generator hum dey follow add to the heat for my chest—my spirit just dey press brake. Time to japa.

But as I step out, na so I jam Kamsiyochukwu face to face.

E surprise me. As I wan waka pass, him tall shadow block my road—timing always like soldier.

“You just pass here?” I ask am, voice calm but my heart dey beat as if NEPA light just trip off.

“So you dey worry about me?” Kamsiyochukwu eyes dey shine lazy-lazy. He just stand dey look me, lips curl like say e dey hide laughter. The babe beside am glare me, arms folded, one leg back—ready for wrestling. Her nose wrinkle, eyelash flutter—no need to talk, her face don talk finish.

As I remember the comments, my vex rise. If dem dey share award for strong mind, na me go collect. My hand grip my bag tight like say I dey squeeze life out of am.

I try waka pass, but Kamsiyochukwu just grab my wrist.

My skin prickled—fear flash, but I no go show say e dey pain me. I gather myself, steady voice. E grip me strong, but e hand still dey soft like fresh agege bread. I turn back, vex hiding under my calm.

Kamsiyochukwu talk low: “You dey vex?”

Voice deep, e fit melt vex if you no guard your heart.

I look both of them head to toe. “I no vex. I wish two of una long life together.”

My voice steady, but inside, na volcano. My mama say, “If you wan disgrace person, use politeness break him head.”

But the guy no gree release my hand.

The canary roll her eyes. “Who you be, dey block person shopping?” She shake her coral beads, then look Kamsiyochukwu, forming pity-face. “Abi na because nobody dey buy you anything you dey jealous?”

She mouth sharp like Mile 12 market woman. Her fingers tap the beads like piano. All eyes on us, gist dey fly.

I answer calm, “You sabi say him get fiancée?” Chin high, confidence full my body. Café even quiet, people dey try hear.

She freeze, then snort. “Na arrangement marriage—wetin be feelings inside? If Kamsi like am, e for dey with me so?”

Voice sharp like ata rodo. She shine teeth, fake smile. One girl in background whisper, “See this wahala.”

Kamsiyochukwu hiss, eyelid drop, dark eyes lock me. E no defend me—typical, dey wait for women to fight.

I just nod, look the hand still on my wrist. “Abeg, free me.” I remain calm. Wrist dey pain me, but I no show weakness for this crowd.

He no move, just dey look me. “Find another person follow you go the party next tomorrow.”

Voice cold like rainy Jos morning. The babe shock, size me up. She force a smile. “So na you be the fiancée? Ehen? Next tomorrow, na me go dey with Kamsi.”

She waka back, heels knock ground like drumbeat. Smile sharp like razor, but e still dey shake for edge.

In my mind, calculation dey run—breakup agreement go reach Kamsiyochukwu family tomorrow. Time dey tick, make everybody pack their load.

“Okay,” I say, “so you fit free me now?” Softest voice, but my eyes dey sharp. I no wan show pain, but my spirit don tire for all this drama.

Kamsiyochukwu pause, face dark. “Who you wan carry go?” Voice sharp, but small fear inside. Like say he no expect me to move on. Different fine boys flash for my mind. I answer, “I never decide, but once I reach house, I fit pick one.”

I no look him face. I dey imagine all the fine boys for my DM, dey wait for my green light. The whole place hold breath, eyes on us.

Everywhere quiet, even okada man for outside pause to watch. Small girls giggle in background.

The comments come again:

[“Ah! Crown Prince go vex scatter!”]

[“Crown Prince: E no fit just look me with soft eye? Must you dey provoke me?”]

[“Sis, abeg, just act like small pikin, cry small! No waste your beauty and the guy love!”]

[“No lie, sis, no too stubborn. If the guy vex, e fit do anything—scatter your family, lock you for house until you gree.”]

Online people dey chop drama like gala. Dem dey find new episode every day.

“Amarachi, you try.” Kamsiyochukwu talk through teeth, voice cold like freezer. My heart tangle like generator wire. His eyes no dey smile again—real Igbo man vex.

He finally free my hand, drop am with small push, as if e dey test if I go fall. I balance well, adjust dress. Small breeze enter body.

I waka front, eye the beads for the canary neck, then look Kamsiyochukwu deep. “You talk before say you go give me this necklace.”

I no forget promise. For my mind, every word I dey count like exam.

With that, I turn waka go. My heel tap for marble, sound sharp. I no look back, just dey count my steps.

Kamsiyochukwu rush come, voice low. “You still remember?” Face soft small, as if he wan act stubborn but still care.

“But I no need am again.”

Voice no shake. I form strong, even as chest tight like wrapper.

“She sabi act like baby, dey follow me everywhere... she even dey call me husband,” Kamsiyochukwu talk quietly. E sound like confession, but e still dey look me, as if e dey hope make I drag am back.

So na why you give her the necklace wey you promise me before?

My belle turn, throat dry.

The comments dey scatter:

[“Na hint he dey give you!”]

[“Crown Prince don reach him limit, o! Sis, just call am ‘husband’ once, the guy go give you everything.”]

[“Crown Prince dey dream say you go call am husband—e go wake up, change bedsheet.”]

Na wa for these people and their sense of humor. For my head, e dey ring like church bell.

I stop, look Kamsiyochukwu for eye, talk am word by word:

“Yes, from now, I go act like baby for another man, call another person ‘husband’. That one go do anything for me too.”

My voice strong, but legs dey shake. Even the sun for outside just pause, dey wait.

“Talk am again.” Kamsiyochukwu voice cold reach bone. He grip my shoulder tight, like say e wan break am. His hand heavy, but I no let am see weakness. I just dey look am, no blink.

The canary—Song Ling, the internet dey always call am that Chinese name, say she come Naija for brand deal, but nobody sure if na true—talk small: “Kamsi, wetin happen?”

Voice small, like mosquito, but still cut air. She dey watch us, face full of fear.

Kamsiyochukwu no even look her, just dey look me. Eyes sharp, jaw tight. If I talk one more word, e fit drag me enter car, drive go village.

She frown, eye red. “Na you make Kamsi vex? He never dey sad with me.” She near tears, voice dey shake, eyes dey search my face.

My vex strong. I turn face, no talk again. If I open mouth, wahala fit burst. I squeeze bag, dey count to ten.

After long silence, Kamsiyochukwu hand drop. He close eye, frustration full body, everywhere dark. Him whole body deflate, like tyre wey burst for express. He rub temple, as if headache wan kill am.

“She sabi how to make me happy, Amarachi.” He drop cold talk, waka go.

Words cut me like blade. He no look back. My breath catch, I fit hear my heart beat.

The canary quick follow, dey beg with sweet voice. She hold him arm, dey whisper like jazz. Her voice turn sugar, dey press body, dey find apology.

As they dey go, them just look perfect together. Café people dey watch, dey snap, dey gossip low. Na real Nollywood scene.

Comments burst:

[“Sis no wan gree, she just dey push away the person wey love am.”]

[“You no fit just talk nice to Crown Prince? You wan make that white-lily babe win?”]

[“Omo, check trending—people don post pictures and videos online.”]

Omo, e be like say I don enter another episode. Head dey spin. For Naija, wahala no dey ever finish—especially when money and love join.