Chapter 3: Reports, Rumors, and a Shocking Discovery

Even though I managed to calm things down for the moment, I was still a bundle of nerves.

I fiddled with a paperclip, pretending to review spreadsheets. Sam Walker’s got relatives everywhere and a whole crew of sworn brothers. If this Old Corpse of Pine Hollow accidentally messed with one of his people, we’d be in disaster territory.

While I was sweating bullets, Director Mike Lewis rushed back with the report.

He practically skidded to a stop, waving the folder like it was radioactive. As soon as I opened it, the words ‘Case Unclosed’ made my heart sink.

Just what I was afraid of.

Turns out, this Old Corpse of Pine Hollow, leading a bunch of wandering spirits and lost souls, had caused more trouble than a raccoon at a Fourth of July picnic. And it all went down in the countryside, where news travels at a snail’s pace. After half a year of bouncing around, the report finally landed at the Afterlife Office—only to get buried by some joker who decided to let it slide.

Just my luck.

I grabbed another report and read the details carefully.

Here’s what happened:

Thanks to the internet boom in the mortal world, news spreads at the speed of light. Someone posted a question on a ghostly Reddit knockoff called "SpookNet":

[Can Sam Walker instantly wipe out a fierce spirit like the Old Corpse of Pine Hollow?]

And wouldn’t you know it, Sam Walker’s secretary saw it.

Who’s Sam Walker these days? He’s the kind of guy who’d get banned from Twitter and then show up at the board meeting anyway. His name getting dragged into drama with a rotten corpse? Not a good look.

So when Sam Walker’s motorcade passed by the Afterlife, his secretary flagged down a spirit messenger to ask about it. She wanted to know who this Old Corpse was.

The spirit messenger saw the government plates and sprinted off to report up the chain. Sam Walker’s crew? They didn’t stick around—they just left.

The spirit messenger ran straight to Captain Hank Black from Law Enforcement. Hank, it’s said, turned pale as a sheet. He passed it up to Instructor Barry White. Barry’s face went stone cold.

He said, “This is no small matter! Report it immediately!”

He reported to their boss, John Kline. John Kline, their boss, nearly had a heart attack. Rumor is, his shirt buttons popped and hellfire scorched half the office—cost him a fortune in repairs.

This isn’t even an exaggeration. Around here, even the insurance guys charge hazard pay—and they’ve seen everything.

He dug through nearly a year’s worth of records but couldn’t find any big mistakes. Still, just in case, he reported it up the chain to the Afterlife Office.

Director Mike Lewis caught wind, went digging online, and sure enough, found the question on SpookNet. Checked the system—bam!—there it was: an open case about the Old Corpse and his crew hurting people. Still unresolved.

No wonder he sprinted in to tell me.

After reading the report, I couldn’t help but curse:

“Who wakes up and decides to start drama online? Some people need a new hobby.”

I tossed the report onto my desk, the words rattling around in my skull like loose change. I thought a moment, then picked up the phone and called Mike:

“Tell Hank Black to close that unresolved case. And draft a notice about tightening up the management of wandering spirits and lost souls.”

I put down the phone, hesitated, then dialed another number:

“Director Williams, how’s it going?”

“Haha, it’s me, Old Quincy. Have you heard about the Old Corpse of Pine Hollow causing trouble lately?”

“If not, check SpookNet. There’s a question: ‘Can Sam Walker instantly wipe out a fierce spirit like the Old Corpse of Pine Hollow?’”

There was a beat of stunned silence, then a stream of curses blasted through the phone. Then came a barrage of criticism:

“I told you to keep things tight! If you really tick off Sam Walker, the whole Afterlife will have to reshuffle!”

“Old Williams, take it easy. Sure, our office dropped the ball, but if things go south, your Legal Affairs Department won’t be spared either. We’re already drafting the notice—just work with us, and if we get out in front of this, we can keep the fallout to a minimum. Right?”

“Don’t let it happen again!”

The phone clicked off. I finally let out a long sigh of relief.

As long as Hank Black takes care of the Old Corpse, we’ll be in the clear.

I poured myself a cup of gas station coffee—burnt, bitter, and exactly what my nerves deserved. But just as I was making tea and scrolling through today’s trending topics, a headline nearly made my heart stop.

[Body of Hank Black, Captain of the Afterlife Law Enforcement Team, Discovered in Pine Hollow]

Hank… Hank Black is dead…

The mug slipped from my hand, coffee splashing everywhere. My phone buzzed again. New headline: [Old Corpse of Pine Hollow—Missing]. I stared at the screen, heart pounding. This wasn’t over. Not by a long shot.