Chapter 1: Pepper for This Life

For this life, God dash me three brothers wey no be my blood, but na wahala full ground.

Among the four families for our estate, na only me be the girl. Sometimes, I dey wonder if God just wan show me pepper: three stubborn boys, and me as the only babe among us. My papa always talk, "See as you be—one flower for inside bush." E go talk am like say na compliment, but I dey hear small warning for him voice. Our families dey tight—our mamas dey call each other sister—so dem reason say e go better if I marry one of the boys. You know Naija elders, dem like to keep everything for house, so pikin no go waka stray.

The living room smell of fried onions and old prayer oil, elders’ voices mixing with the faint hum of NEPA generator. My family don fall on hard times, so the elders dey arrange marriage, dey hope say I go marry one of the boys.

Before you know, compound gist don spread. "See Musa people, dem dey find who go help dem stand." Pressure come start, elders dey call meeting, dey drop hint anyhow. My mama eyes go just red small, but she go act like sey everything dey alright. For night, she go dey pray under her breath, Bible for hand, sweat dey soak her wrapper.

But na so school bad boy, Timi, look me finish, hiss, chew gum like say he dey fight with it, then roll eye for ceiling. "I no fit marry am. I like girls wey dey calm. I just dey see am like my guy."

Timi—hard man for school—no even reason my matter. E cross leg, dey chew gum loud for front of elders. When dem ask am to talk, he just wave hand, hiss, talk him mind anyhow. Me sef just dey look am, no surprise. Na him style—sharp mouth, respect no dey.

Sunkanmi, our group puppy, just spread hand, dey pity. "Me too, I dey see am like senior sister." E look floor, scratch head, voice small like mosquito. "No vex o, na true."

Sunkanmi na the youngest, always dey follow person. E no sabi vex, just dey smile up and down. Him talk soft, almost like beg make I no vex. Na so e dey try cool everywhere.

Abdullahi, the bookworm, bone face pass everybody: "She too stubborn and dey do anyhow—she no fit be my wife." He adjust him glasses, open mouth like person wey wan answer WAEC question, then talk him own sharp.

Abdullahi na real efiko. Serious face, serious life. Him words dey bitter, no sugarcoat. As e talk, e adjust glasses like old man, e no even look my face. My body just dey pepper me as I dey hear am.

Dem just use mouth run me down, no even send. My papa and mama fit only force smile, everything just awkward.

The silence heavy, like harmattan for December. Even the cockroach for wall freeze. Only generator from next compound dey hum small. My papa cough, mama squeeze wrapper, everybody dey wait make ground open swallow person.

E be like say dem use hammer break my chest.

I just dey wonder, na wetin I do? E pain me reach bone, but I no fit show am. I dey try hold face, but small tears dey my eye corner.

So I tell my parents, "Daddy, Mummy, abeg, I get boyfriend already."

Na so I just drop am, voice no dey shake. For my mind, na my own way to get back small dignity. I no even care who believe.