Full Circle: Guardian Angel

“Back then, unlike now, there were no fancy online fishing gear or baits. It didn’t cost much.”

At this point, Mr. Cooper looked a bit embarrassed.

“You know your aunt, fierce as anything. I was scared of her, so I came out to get some peace.”

Mr. Cooper and his wife had made it through years of ups and downs. That too was a kind of happiness.

“Your dad was really steadfast. With so many temptations in the world, he kept to himself, rather sitting all day fishing than messing around.”

Mr. Cooper gave a thumbs up.

“Impressive, really impressive.”

Mr. Cooper spoke tactfully, but I understood his meaning.

Yes, in my memory, Dad really never got involved with any women.

Others had mocked my dad for being a worker, and hinted at me not having a mom.

But there were never any rumors about Dad’s ‘romantic affairs.’

Though I never understood what happened to my mom, whether openly or secretly, my dad was always a ‘single man.’

Before high school, many family friends tried to introduce someone to my dad, but nothing ever came of it.

“Even though your dad became a worker to take care of you, he still did well. At the time, a state official noticed him and wanted to transfer him.”

“He worked there for a month, but because you got sick, he came back.”

I seemed to remember what Mr. Cooper was talking about.

He was probably referring to the year I graduated from elementary school, when my father suddenly enrolled me in a boarding prep class.

That month, used to Dad’s home cooking, I couldn’t get used to the food there.

And I was stubborn, rather starve than eat unappetizing food.

Mr. Cooper’s next words made my mood hit rock bottom.

“It’s a pity. You got better, but because he wouldn’t stay there, he offended many people. After that, no matter how well he performed, he never got promoted again.”

Today, by the pond where my father had spent years, through Mr. Cooper’s words, my father’s ordinary and tough career unfolded before me, raw and unvarnished.

“I’m a father too. If I had to sacrifice so much for my child, honestly, I couldn’t do it.”

Unconsciously, my eyes became a little wet.

At this point, there were things I had to clear up and understand!

“Mr. Cooper, where did my mom go?”

As soon as I asked, the old man frowned instinctively.

After a long silence, Mr. Cooper didn’t respond, his silence deepening my anxiety.

“Mr. Cooper, you must know…”

What happened back then that made them all keep the same secret?

“Sigh, Emily, what can I say…”

In the end, Mr. Cooper said nothing, and even left early to avoid me.

The once stuffy day suddenly turned gloomy.

Clouds rolled in, the air heavy with the promise of rain. I felt the tension build in my chest, the questions swirling with no answers.

I still had to find my father, but I couldn’t let Mrs. Parker get caught in the rain with me.

“Mrs. Parker, I’ll go get the car. Wait for me here.”

On the way to get the car, my mood became even more anxious.

I was desperate to see my father.

Unfortunately, many things, along with his dementia, seemed destined never to be revealed.

Whenever I thought of Dad’s past ‘tall tales,’ I felt he was truly the king of bragging.

He said my mom fell for him at first sight, chased him for several blocks just to get his name.

He also said that after leaving the Army, he once saved someone, and his heroic deeds spread through the whole county.

He even said he randomly bought a stock years ago, which later skyrocketed and made him a fortune.

Sadly, these were just his everyday boasts.

But today, from Mrs. Parker and Mr. Cooper, I seemed to learn a bit more about my father.

Though he was still the braggart, it didn’t stop his image from growing a bit taller in my heart.

“If he’s not at the chess tables, I’ll have to go to the police station.”

The car got closer to the little chess stall, but I still didn’t see any sign of my father.

Where on earth had this old man gone?

After parking, I walked into the little stall, still unwilling to give up.

“Ah, isn’t this Emily?”

“Your dad didn’t come. If he had, your Uncle Martin and I would have sent him home.”

“Emily, look at you, all sweaty. You must’ve been searching all day again.”

All I saw were my father’s old colleagues and neighbors.

Except for my dad, these people had all watched me grow up.

After my dad’s dementia, my repeated searches had become routine, and these elders all knew about his condition.

“Here, have some water.”

A kind elder handed me a drink. The composure I’d maintained suddenly broke down.

“Mrs. Parker and I searched everywhere, not a trace. It’s so hot and about to rain. Where could he have gone!”

“Your dad is reliable. Maybe he’s already home.”

The elders all tried to comfort my breakdown.

“Reliable? All he does is brag and cause me trouble. I can’t even find him.”

Seeing my complaint, Mrs. Parker couldn’t take it: “George raised you all by himself. Emily, you can’t say that about your dad!”

Someone else with a sick family member spoke up for me.

“Sigh, these years have been hard on Emily. Taking care of such an old man is really tough.”

Faced with everyone’s reproach, I felt embarrassed.

“Mrs. Parker, I don’t have anything against my dad, but he really isn’t reliable.”

I listed all the lies I’d caught him in before.

“He always said he saved someone from drowning in the Army, but he can’t even swim. How could he save anyone?”

“And he bragged about making a fortune in stocks, but later I found out he can’t even read a basic chart. How could he trade stocks?”

“And most importantly…”

Looking around at the old neighbors, I raised the question that had always bothered me.

“About my mom, he still can’t give a clear answer… That’s the kind of dad he is. How can I think he’s reliable?”

My doubts were met with silence, and a few people looked clearly awkward.

“Emily, your dad really was a soldier.”

I turned at the voice and saw a very familiar face.

“Mr. Harris.”

If it were anyone else, I wouldn’t believe it. But if it was Mr. Harris…

To be honest, he was once my ideal image of a father.

Mr. Harris is a Vietnam vet, a true man.

He treats his wife well, and even without children, they still love each other.

He is ambitious, and after his service, he still shone at work, retiring as a senior official.

Most importantly, he is humble and never unreliable.

In short, he and our “George” are polar opposites.

“As for what you want to know about your mom, let me tell you.”

Everyone was a bit surprised, and so was I.

“Alright, I really want to know.”

Now, he was actually willing to answer my question, and I couldn’t wait.

“Your grandpa died when your dad was in his sophomore year of high school, so he had to quit school and join the Army.”

“He ended up in artillery, under a buddy of mine.”

Mr. Harris sat in my car and began recounting those old stories face-to-face.

“At first, he was rebellious, feeling wronged for not being able to go to college, and almost tried to run away.”

“Later, his sergeant—my old friend—found out, comforted him, and said he could work hard and try for officer training in the future.”

“Your dad was strong-willed at heart, and later performed well in the Army. But then something happened.”

Mr. Harris took out a pack of cigarettes and asked me.

“Emily, can I smoke?”

I nodded and pressed the window button.

“So, what happened next?”

“His old sergeant was injured in a drill to protect your dad and didn’t survive.”

“Your dad was traumatized and soon left the Army.”

“But unexpectedly, the sergeant’s younger sister came with compensation money, because in the sergeant’s letters, he had said he wanted to help your dad go back to school.”

So, Dad really was a soldier.

“Heh, the sergeant’s sister chased your dad for several blocks, and even slipped into a ditch.”

“Your dad was so scared, he forgot he couldn’t swim and jumped right in.”

“Luckily, a winter swim team was training nearby, or else you wouldn’t be here today.”

What?

Could the sergeant’s sister be my mom?

A few of Mr. Harris’s jokes took me back to the encounter that decided my life.

“Your dad and your mom got together like that. He finished school and married your mom.”

“We all said he was lucky, but we didn’t expect your mom’s luck to run out.”

Finally, I was about to learn the truth about my biological mother.

I stared at Mr. Harris’s moving lips, not missing a word.

“She died giving birth to you… Your dad didn’t want to say, so none of us did all these years.”

All the fragments of memory overlapped at this moment, and all my father’s absurd behavior seemed to have the most reasonable explanation.

“Was my mom called Mary Rivers?”

“Yes, your mother’s name was Mary Rivers, and your real uncle was Mark Rivers.”

My name, my life, actually contained the two most important people to my dad.

“Emily, you’re the most important person to your dad.”

As a child, my father always told me this.

“As for your complaints about his bragging, that’s just the stubbornness of an ordinary father.”

Mr. Harris chuckled, revealing the softer, more vulnerable side of my dad.

“Your dad just wanted you to have something to be proud of. Men, when they brag, can’t help but exaggerate. I heard you loved his stories about diving in to save people when you were little.”

Now, after thirty years of confusion, the truth was finally clear on this muggy afternoon.

I didn’t know what to say.

“Hello, what? You saw George?”

Mrs. Parker’s phone rang in the back seat, and I quickly turned around.

“Quick, Emily, go to First Elementary. The janitor said your dad is at the door!”

Before the car even stopped, I saw my father’s familiar back.

He still had the posture of looking for me, but his body was no longer as straight as when he was young.

As soon as I parked, Mrs. Parker and Mr. Harris hurried out.

Facing my dad, whom I’d searched for all afternoon, I couldn’t speed up my steps.

How long had it been since I’d really looked at him?

“George, we’ve been looking for you all afternoon. Why did you come here?”

“Where did you get that goldfish? Did you go to the pet store again?”

Mrs. Parker stared at the ornamental fish in my dad’s hand, frowning in confusion.

“Dad.”

Finally, I walked up to him.

Dad turned, looking at me with some confusion.

After a while, he patted his head, as if suddenly realizing something.

“Ms. Thompson, why hasn’t our Emily come out yet? I’ve been waiting half the day.”

He shook the goldfish in front of me.

“I bought fish, going to cook it for her.”

Looking at my dad’s carefree smile, my tears fell uncontrollably.

Dad turned to Mrs. Parker, still asking that only question he cared about.

“Have you seen our Emily?”

Mrs. Parker couldn’t hold back either and lowered her head.

“Dad, let’s go home.”

As I got closer, I smelled a bad odor.

My dad, he must have been incontinent.

In this stuffy heat, how had he endured while still looking for me?

“Hey, who are you? Don’t pull me. Our Emily will see.”

Dad struggled, avoiding my touch.

“Alright, alright, Emily’s dad, I’ll take you to find Emily. I know where she is.”

With teary eyes, I imitated how my father used to coax me.

At first, he didn’t quite believe me.

“Emily’s dad, if you don’t pick her up now, your fish will die and won’t taste good.”

In the end, Dad nodded and followed me.

At some point, Mrs. Parker had already left, thoughtfully leaving the time to us father and daughter.

“Mary, how many years have you been gone?”

As we walked, Dad seemed confused again.

“My memory isn’t good lately. I forget things.”

He actually mistook me for Mom.

“I still don’t know how to tell Emily about your difficult birth. Maybe when she’s a mom herself, I’ll tell her.”

“Am I thinking too far ahead? She’s not even out of elementary school yet.”

Dad looked at me, giggling, a little shy.

He held his head high, swaying his hips, walking awkwardly.

But his face, his smile was so proud.

“In a few decades, when Emily finds someone reliable, I can go with you. Don’t rush, save me a spot, I’ll be right there.”

His empty hand gave me a salute.

My face was wet, sweat and tears long mixed together.

Whether it was Mrs. Parker, Mr. Jenkins, Mr. Cooper, or Mr. Harris—

Everyone I met today told me a fact I had ignored for years.

My dad lived a messy life, but he gave me the best of everything.

That night, we ate fish.

But this time, I was the one who cooked.

Late at night, the long-delayed rain finally poured down.

My father was frightened by the thunder and cried like a child.

I hugged him tightly, comforting him with the words he used to comfort me.

“Don’t be afraid, only after the rain can you see the rainbow…”

“Rainbow?”

Dad looked puzzled, but I smiled gently and answered.

“It’s Emily’s favorite rainbow.”

To be honest, I don’t know if my dad’s illness will ever get better.

But after this storm, I’m going to do everything I can to watch over him until the rainbow comes out again.

Half a year later, a pandemic hit, upending life everywhere.

The company I used to work for took a huge hit—lots of executives in my old position got laid off.

Funny how things work out. I guess sometimes what goes around really does come around. Because I moved home with Dad, I used the money from selling my shares to buy stocks in a few pharmaceutical companies.

One of them was the first to roll out a COVID vaccine. The stock price shot up, and I made a windfall.

“Mary, you seem to have grown taller?”

My dad’s condition didn’t improve, but at least it didn’t get worse either.

He still tried to sneak out sometimes, and just as often, he’d mistake me for someone else, or forget who I was.

“Yes, because you support me. I think I can grow a bit more.”

Looking at the ever-rising stock chart, I smiled for real.

Turns out, my guardian angel was always by my side.

His name is George Rivers. He is my father.