Chapter 5: Small Power, Big Wahala

But I no wan leave the comfort wey I don build for myself.

All the small power wey I get for house—servant fit call me madam, I fit run things as I like. To go work, na to start afresh, to hustle for respect again. I no too sure say I dey ready.

I talk, 'Make I reason am first.'

I say am with small voice, just to buy time. For Naija, to say "make I reason am" fit mean yes, fit mean no—na code.

Na so the wrinkle for my stepfather forehead reduce small, e come smile.

For the first time, I see small joy for him face. E mean say, at least, I dey try. If Okafor smile for you, na something.

That night, as I see Somto with that pitiful, empty look for him eye, I just make up my mind.

I look Somto for corner of the parlor, as e dey hug pillow, eyes empty like say world don end. The pity grip me. I tell myself, maybe if I work, I go fit reduce the tension for house. Maybe if I give am space, e go heal small. I make up my mind sharp sharp.

But na when I finally start work for the company, my mind start dey shift to work, I no even dey disturb Somto like before.

Work wahala carry my head. Early morning to night, I dey run up and down. No time to dey monitor Somto, no time to bully. Sometimes I go come house, see am dey look TV like zombie, I go just pass. The change start small, but I notice say, as I dey focus for myself, the anger inside me dey reduce small small.