Chapter 9: Ghost Children

That night at home, I heard about my two kids from Natalie for the first time.

She poured two glasses of wine and sat down at the kitchen table, the city lights twinkling behind her through the big windows.

"Those two, they're both smart. But back when Derek was starting his business, you were busy too. After giving birth, you went right back to work.

Both kids were raised by their grandparents, so they're not close to you.

When you divorced, you could've gotten 50% of the marital assets, but you signed an agreement with Derek: you'd only take 20%, but he had to guarantee in writing that he wouldn't remarry, and that all assets would go to the two kids."

She paused, then continued, "Both kids were carried for nine months and born by you, it hurt you so much, but it's useless. Both kids don't like you. That day when I went to pick you up, I saw them yelling at you, saying you did nothing and just took 20% of Derek's assets, telling you to return it. You stood there in silence. They got angry and threw a glass at you..."

Natalie didn't finish, just sighed and hugged me. "Jess, don't try to remember, okay? Let's just be happy like this."

Her arms were strong, holding me together when I felt like I might break.

I nodded seriously. "Okay, I don't want to remember either."

I could feel a weight lift off my chest, just a bit.

"But if you want to see them this weekend, go ahead. It's impossible to never see them. I'll go with you—no one can mess with you."

She squeezed my hand for emphasis, her nails painted sky blue, a splash of hope in the dark.

I looked up at Natalie and nodded.

Honestly, it's fine if I don't see them. I've really forgotten already.

I ran my thumb over my wine glass, thinking about the lives I'd never lived, the faces I couldn't recall.

I just felt a little sad when it was first mentioned. Now I don't feel much.

My sadness was like the echo of a memory—faint and far away.

I'm just a bit curious—curious what they look like.

A tiny part of me wondered if I'd see myself in their eyes.