Chapter 4: Pride and Insults

I reach my rented flat.

My own small palace for Lagos. The gate dey squeak, but inside, everywhere neat. I put touch of gold for kitchen, small pink for my bedsheet. My own little escape.

Ninety square meters—not too big, not too small—na me arrange am make e dey cozy.

I hang air freshener for every room. The smell of vanilla dey greet person as dem enter. For evening, I dey light candle, play Asa music for background.

For the old wall, I arrange photos in heart shape.

I use tape, struggle arrange am, but e still fine for my eye. That wall na my own shrine, even if na only me dey worship am.

Pictures of me and Tunde together.

I frame the best ones, even use filter join. I dey smile for every picture, but Tunde face just dey like say person force am.

But all those photos na me snap secretly, then go develop outside. He never gree take picture with me before.

I dey beg am tire, but he go talk say him no like camera. I no know say na shame him dey hide, na me dey fool myself.

He never post us, and anytime anniversary reach, he go just bone or disappear.

I go try do surprise, but na so so excuse. Sometimes, e go say network no dey, or say him dey pray for church.

All these years, na me dey pay rent and NEPA bill. Chop, shop, waka—na me still dey settle most things.

I go buy food, buy fuel, even send money for him mama. Dem say na love, but e just dey use me shine.

I no waste time, just call landlord, pay penalty, break lease.

Landlord voice sweet, say if I wan come back, I fit call am. Na me dey pay sharp, so him respect dey high.

Anything wey I no need, I throw away. I pack sharp sharp.

I carry only two Ghana-Must-Go, the rest I dash security. Na so I tell myself, make new beginning start today.

As I dey pack, knock land for my door.

The knock loud, I think say na NEPA. But when I look peephole, na Tunde and Amarachi stand there.

I open, see Tunde and Amarachi stand for there.

Tunde face long, Amarachi dress tight. I just fold arm, dey wait make dem talk.

"Ifeoma, you dey move?"

Amarachi voice low, like say she dey fear me. I just nod, face blank.

Amarachi enter, dey form concern, hold my hand. I just bone, remove her hand.

Her perfume choke, but I bone. She dey look me with fake pity. I no send.

Tunde look me, face full of disgust.

He cross him hand, look around like say my room dey smell. Him pride dey show, but I just dey watch.

"Move? As I hear am, her papa die since. Everything she make from writing na to pay papa hospital debt."

He dey talk am loud, like say na gist for beer parlour. Amarachi nod like say she sabi the whole story.

"This place na two hundred thousand per year, e don dey heavy for her. If she dey move, na to go one yeye hostel room."

Even Amarachi snicker, look me up and down. But I no talk. Let them continue.

Dem no know say I get options wey pass their level. Let dem dey run mouth. I look am, face blank. "Wetin you want?"

I fold arm, dey wait. My heart cold like ice block, but my face no show anything.

Tunde just open mouth talk anyhow: "Apologise to Amarachi. Admit say you thief her work, for public."

He say am with confidence, like say na him dey write script for my life.