Chapter 7: The Weight of Light

Marcus kept his word, but it didn’t bring me any joy. After he left for work, I sat by the window, watching rain drip from the maple leaves, feeling time slip past me like water. When my phone alarm chimed, I realized it was already noon.

The chicken soup was gone, but I was stubborn—I wanted Marcus to drink it. It was as if forcing him to accept it could patch up everything between us.

I cooked a fresh batch and brought it to his office, but he wasn’t there. His secretary stammered that he’d stepped out, would be back soon.

I sat in Marcus’s chair, the leather cool beneath me, my mind wandering. I was due for a checkup; the meds weren’t working. Everything felt blurry, dreamlike.

I sat there, lost in thought, until the office door opened. I looked up, blinking, and saw a familiar face—Derek, Marcus’s college roommate and longtime friend. Tall, with a friendly grin and deep laugh lines, Derek was looking for Marcus.

"Marcus isn’t here," I mumbled.

He nodded but didn’t leave, sinking into the sofa. "I know. He went to the hospital. The assistant was hospitalized last night—bleeding ulcer. Marcus went to check on her."

My hand trembled, but I kept my face blank. Derek kept talking, trying to fill the silence.

"You know, once the company took off, things got hectic. More business partners, more client dinners—Aubrey always came along, keeping things running. She’s so young, but all that stress... her stomach couldn’t handle it."

He sighed. "I’ll admit, I miss her already. Her energy brightened the place. Lunch with her and Marcus was the highlight of my day. She’s a little sun, you know? Makes everything lighter."

That’s why Marcus smiled around her, I realized. She was his light. His happy fruit.

I thought I was numb by now, but hearing Derek’s words cracked something open. My chest ached, raw and bloody all over again.

Now, all I had left was darkness. The one thing I couldn’t keep was the light.

I mumbled, mostly to myself, "If she leaves, if this little sun leaves, what will happen to you?"

Derek’s eyes softened. "Rachel, everyone is drawn to the light. I’ve watched you and Marcus for years. You’ve given so much—supported his career, taken on hard roles, lost your first child for him. He missed saying goodbye to your dad because of work. But those things shouldn’t be shackles for either of you."

He looked at me, voice gentle but firm. "After you got sick, Marcus had to juggle everything. I saw him running himself ragged, getting more withdrawn every day. I thought he’d break—until Aubrey showed up."

"With you, he has to take care of you. With Aubrey, he’s the one who’s needed. She’s his assistant at work and his source of positive energy. Around her, he smiles."

He hesitated. "I know you’re worried. But there’s nothing between them. I’m always there. If something was going to happen, it would’ve happened in college. Marcus loves you. But if you take away his only source of happiness, are you trying to drive him crazy? Do you want him to be like you?"

"Sorry, Rachel. Honest words hurt. But think about it."

Even after Derek left, his words echoed in my head.

Am I the one making everyone unhappy? Is my darkness contagious? Did I ruin him?

I pulled the pill bottle from my pocket and swallowed everything left inside.

Maybe it really was my fault.