Chapter 4: Broken Ties

Next day, I carry the list go Lan’s side for the compound.

I tie my wrapper well, use old scarf cover my hair. No time for fashion. I dey go reclaim my own.

First, I find my son Qi.

He dey play for corridor, small sticks for hand, acting like police. I call am, he look up, face mix with confusion and pride.

Qi nearly six, don dey act like big pikin.

For his age, him dey get small sense, but pride dey show for eye. I watch am, thinking, "See pikin I train, now dey act like senior man."

When he hear say I come to collect wetin I give am, him face first blank, then flush, but he still hand over the gold, silver and property papers.

His hands shake small, but he no cry. I dey see stubbornness wey resemble his papa own. For a second, I pity am.

"Mummy, you no even chop breakfast with us today, but na all these dead things dey worry you? Aunty Lan say money na just ordinary thing. Mummy, you too dey backward!"

The words cut me deep. The way he talk, e be like say I dey drag pikin for gutter. His mouth sharp, but his eye still small pikin.

I look Qi well, disappointment just full my body.

My heart dey heavy. I see my reflection for his eyes—pride and pain.

Na my first son after I marry Tunde.

His birth almost take my life. I remember the prayers, the long nights for hospital. Now, see as he talk to me like stranger.

That time, Tunde busy with work, his mama don die, and my first born nearly kill me. I no believe say the pikin wey I nearly die born go look me finish talk to me like this...

Tears threaten, but I swallow am. For this world, person no fit force love.

I swallow the pain, pack the deeds, leave the rest with him.

I fit no get everything, but I go collect my dignity.

I warn am gently,

My voice soft, but firm. "Qi, life dey change. Take care of your future."

"You still small. Even this one pass wetin most people get. Take care of am well."

I try touch his head.

The gesture na habit, but today, he pull back like say my hand na hot iron.

Qi dodge, push my hand away with vex.

My heart cut. But I just purse my lips, look am one last time.

"Nothing dey this thing! I no want your things!"

His words echo for my head. I turn, no look back.

I look am once, turn waka go.

I wipe small tear for my cheek, adjust my scarf, ready to face the next battle.

I reach Bisi room.

She dey sit for bed, wrapper round her chest, face stubborn. I enter, she no even greet me.

She no gree at all.

She grab her small box, eye me like say I be thief. My heart pain me, but I no let am show.

"Why? Wetin you give me na my own! No even try collect am! Aunty Lan talk say, na my own future be that!"

Her mouth sharp. The way she mention Lan name, e be like say na she born am.

Bisi look me like enemy.

Her eyes hard. I remember when she dey fear to sleep alone. Na me carry her every night.

"Mummy, you wan thief my things! I hate you!"

Her words sting me like pepper. I force myself stand still.

Bisi na my second child, na she give me wahala pass.

From belle, she stubborn. I remember the day I born her for church, my body weak, but I thank God for her life.

When I carry her for belle, I go church go pray, riot come happen, fear catch me, na so I born her for church—na why I call her Bisi (Added Blessing).

Even pastor pray special prayer for her. I always see her as sign say God still dey remember me.

That wahala come affect my body, so I no fit born again after her.

Doctor talk say my womb too weak. I accept my fate, happy with the two children God give me.

I know say I no fit talk sense to Bisi, so I tell her main maid make she bring her property out.

If I argue with pikin, people go say na curse I dey curse my own.

Bisi try fight me, dey curse. I just hold her arm tight, make she no fall.

She dey throw leg, but I hold am with love. No be today wahala start.

At last, the maid rush come, carry her go.

Bisi dey shout, but the maid firm. I look away, my heart dey bleed.

Zainab check the list well.

She count everything, eye sharp, no dey miss anything. I trust her pass myself.

"Madam, everything complete. Na only that Red Coral Bead bracelet wey old madam leave you—you give young miss, but e no dey."

Her voice drop, as if she dey fear to talk.

I remember the bracelet—not only expensive, na my mama memory.

I hold the memory dear. My mama wear am for her own wedding, pass am to me. E dey my dowry list.

"Who you give am to? Na your grandma thing!"

I look Bisi, my heart dey beat fast.

Bisi step back, stammer and curse, "No be your business! You give me, na my own, I fit give anybody I like!"

Her mouth dey quick, but her eyes dey shake. I fit see fear for her body.

I ask her maids, find out say she give am to Lan.

House girls whisper, "Madam, na Aunty Lan dey wear am o!" My blood boil.

Anger just hold me, I turn go.

I no shout. I tie my wrapper tight, enter backyard with strong step.

"Aunty Lan, children no sabi, but grown person no suppose blind. That bracelet na my late mama own—abeg return am!"

My voice steady, but my chest dey shake.

Lan dey backyard dey feed chicken, she roll her sleeve, the bracelet dey her wrist.

She dey scatter feed for chicken, humming church song. As she see me, her face change.

"Na Bisi give me. Why madam come collect am back?"

She talk with small smile, but her eye dey dodge mine. I no fit shout, but I no gree either.

"Aunty Lan, every treasure get where e from. With your background, how you go dey wear this kind thing for public?"

I talk with my full chest. No be everything woman suppose claim, even if dem dash you.

Lan face pale small.

She look ground, scratch her head, words hang for mouth. I no pity her.

I don already find out: she be official daughter before, but her family scatter, she become house girl, na Tunde rescue her.

Her story dey popular for compound. But no be reason to collect another woman memory.

How she go dey wear gold for public dey show herself?

In this place, people dey watch. If you overdo, dem go say you dey form.

I reach for am. "Aunty Lan, abeg return am."

My hand steady, voice strong. If she shame, make she learn lesson.

Lan stretch her hand, her eyes dey shake, suddenly she grab my wrist!

I shock, as I bend near her, we both fall enter well water.

Everything happen quick. I slip, my hand grab her, both of us tumble inside well. The cold water slap my body, wrapper drag me down, my head knock stone. I hear people shout, "Yee! Dem don fall inside well!"

"Daddy, see! Mummy push Aunty enter well!"

Qi voice sharp, panic full am. My head heavy, water enter my nose, my vision blur.

I dey inside water, I no fit breathe, everywhere just scatter.

The taste of the water dey bitter, I dey fight to stay afloat. Voices dey echo above.

"Lan!"

Tunde voice thunder, his slippers slap ground as he rush come. No delay, he jump enter well, eyes only for Lan.

Tunde jump enter water, carry Lan for hand!

He reach her quick, pull her up. My hand dey struggle, but nobody see me. My body dey heavy, my strength dey go.

I struggle for water, nobody rescue me. My body dey weak, my mind just dey sink.

I dey think: "So na so person dey waka go?" All my sacrifice, my prayer, my marriage—na water dey swallow am.