Chapter 3: Slow Days and Office Shadows

After I fall sick, I comot from entertainment industry. Apart from seeing psychologist, I hardly dey go anywhere. Old friends gradually stop to reach out, and I just lose interest for everything.

My days now dey slow, dey drag like Harmattan morning. Na so I go dey look ceiling, dey count fan blade. Small breeze go blow curtain, na only silence I go dey hear. Sometimes, I just dey watch old NTA soap, dey count advert jingles.

That day, I suddenly really wan see Ireti. So, after long time, I go his office.

As I stand for the door, I see one young girl lie down for sofa opposite his desk, face pale. Ireti hand her cup of hot ginger pepper soup, then bend down cover her belle with wrapper: "Since your body no dey, make I approve one day off for you, go rest for house."

I smell the soup, sharp ginger and pepper dey rise, remind me of old days for mama kitchen. The way Ireti gently adjust her wrapper, e pain me. E remind me of how he dey care for me when love still dey hot for our body.

She collect the cup, still insist: "Assistant wey leave oga dey work alone no be better assistant."

Ireti raise chin point: "Then go rest small for oga’s rest room."

The small assistant sip the pepper soup, joke small: "How I go do that, oga? You don marry now, I suppose avoid wahala. I no wan make madam vex, abeg."

Everybody laugh small, the office just warm up. The way she talk, you go know say she get sharp mouth, but still dey respect boundary.

Ireti just hiss, shake head.

Then, as he look up, he see me for door. The smile for him mouth just freeze.

Na as if na film dem pause, everywhere just still. His eyes blink fast, then he clear throat, drop hand.

Me sef shock small. My mind still dey where I dey think about the smile wey Ireti give the assistant just now.

Na that kain smile wey person dey reserve for special people—e full of care and pride. I look myself, dey wonder when last I see am for my own face.

Since I sick, I don dull. If I remember well, e be like say since I fall ill, he never smile like that for me again.

But sharp sharp, he change face, come towards me: "Amaka, wetin carry you come?"

He try hold my hand, but I just shift back small. His hand hang for air.

I shift my bag, clear throat, form say I dey find something inside, but my heart just dey race.

"Aunty, you come for surprise inspection abi~" The small assistant hold the pepper soup, stand near am, smile as she stretch hand to me: "My name na Zainab, I sef graduate from UNILAG. I no know if aunty still remember me?"

Her smile dey bright, her eyes dey shine, the type wey fit disarm even the hardest of hearts.

Zainab... Zainab...

I look her face well. After some seconds, I remember—this no be the first time we dey meet.

My mind just jog go back to those days for campus, the noise, the crowd for faculty corridor, the way she dey run upandan for class.

She be junior for the same school and course with Ireti. When she start school, she fall for am immediately. She dey lively, cheerful, like small sun—full of energy—and begin pursue am strong.

Her friends dey always tease her, call her Ireti's shadow. She no send. She dey everywhere he dey, dey laugh his jokes, dey follow am upandan like Jollof rice for party.

That time, I don enter entertainment industry. Even though I love Ireti die, I no fit always dey with am. But he dey avoid any woman wey fit cause wahala for us. So he just tell her straight say he get girlfriend and ignore her runs.

She no gree believe. Girlfriend wey nobody see na "air girlfriend". She think say na excuse to run from her. Until I finish shoot, come back school, she come see say na true.

I remember say she really vex that time, tears for her eyes. She look me, beg: "Aunty, I fit add his contact? If love no dey, no wahala, but I go focus on my studies."

Her voice crack, but her eyes clear, the kind plea wey fit melt your mind if you no get strong mind.

Before I fit answer, she turn to Ireti, beg: "Oga, since I no fit chase you again, at least make we be normal classmate. You be the best for our course, I go need your help for school work."

She talk am like say she dey open and honest.

But how Ireti answer her that time?

He say: "Sorry."

"No need."

"If you get question, ask the lecturer directly."

He no even look her face well, just dey look my hand, hold am firm. Na that kain moment wey person dey show loyalty for public.

I no go lie, I happy that time. He stand for my side, give me better security.

As I dey remember, e be like cold water pour for my body. Life don turn, tables don shift.

Now, so many years don pass. Zainab still dey shine, dey warm everybody around her. But me, e be like say I don lose all the happiness for life, like black hole, dey swallow any light around me.

I fit even feel am for my chest. Zainab laugh dey fill room, but my own spirit just dey drag for ground. Sometimes, e be like say na curse dey follow me.