Chapter 6: Downward Spiral

To come down from thirteenth floor hard pass to climb up. E be like say I dey go hell, step by step, e no dey finish. Steps plenty. Corridor dark, like monster dey open mouth.

The sound of my own footsteps echo for empty staircase, na only me and my shadow dey debate inside my head.

For my mind, evil dey whisper: "Why you no just fall, tumble for stairs."

Then I go just die, no need waka alone again. When Ireti finish with him assistant, maybe he go see my dead body.

Na just pity for my cake, roses, and pepper soup.

I hug the flask to my chest, dey imagine how the cake go scatter for ground if I drop.

I close eyes, lift leg. Just one step into empty air...

My head dey blank, like say all the memories just dey wash away.

"Ding dong."

Phone notification loud for empty stairway. I stop. Stand for darkness for long, finally open eyes check phone.

Na message from Ireti.

I dey shiver as I slide unlock: "Amaka, urgent matter show, I no fit come back, sorry."

The message short, no love, no emotion. Only duty.

As I see the "Amaka", I still come down the stairs small small. Then I give the cake, flowers, and pepper soup for my car to one aboki for roadside, and waka go house alone.

The aboki just smile, say, "Madam, Allah bless you!" I nod, wave am, but my heart dey empty.

Insomnia don be normal for me since I sick; I don used to am. I no sleep till 2am when Ireti come house. He go bathroom first. When he hold me from back, I hear am whisper for my ear: "I’m sorry."

His arms cold, no strength, as if e dey hug log of wood. The apology hang for air, no fit touch my heart.

Sorry for wetin?

Sorry say he no come back before midnight. Or sorry say person dey more important, leave me climb thirteen floor because of her.

Till day break, I still no understand. I just tell am as he dey dress: "Ireti, you fit make Zainab no be your assistant again? You fit make she comot from company?"

Ireti pause as he dey tie tie, after long, he answer: "Okay."

He look me small, eyes red, but no argue. Just say, "Okay."

No need explain. He understand.

The silence wey follow heavy, like say thunder wan break roof.