Chapter 9: Okro Strong

When I wake up, na hospital I dey. Police give me my phone. He say I use my last strength climb up from bush reach road, stop car, dem rush me hospital. But I no remember anything.

My body dey heavy, but the wound dey stitched, my skin dey cold, drip for my hand. Nurse dey arrange drip, dey whisper, "Madam, you strong well. You get better head. Madam, you strong pass okro, you no dey break."

I just nod, no words.

Doctor talk say my wound heal by miracle, if not, I no go make am. I no even know why.

As nurse change my bandage, na only the beeping of monitor dey fill the room. I just dey count every beep, dey thank God say at least I still dey alive. But hope no too full for my body.

After all the questioning, I hold my phone, screen don break, go charge am. The phone strong, e still on. But no missed call from Ireti. The call wey I make for help yesterday, na like stone drop for river.

I open WhatsApp, see say nobody check up. Even family members think say I just dey ghost them as usual.

But now, I no even sad, I just sneer. As if after dying, the sickness wey dey worry me don clear, all the things with Ireti na past life. For this love, I don turn observer. Only suffocation remain, no more heartbreak. And the suffocation no even because of me and Ireti, but because of my old self.

I pity my old self. When I never sick, when my parents dey, when me and Ireti never tie each other down, I dey live free pass anybody. I love am, to give am no be sin. Sickness no be my fault. My sickness no suppose be reason for Ireti and Zainab to dey together. He fit divorce to free himself. But he no suppose, before divorce, use my sickness as excuse to dey moved by Zainab, then dey kiss and roll for oga’s rest room.

I run fingers over my palm, feel the old scar, remember when I dey act, how I go dey light up set, how crew dey hail me, "Star girl!" Now, na only shadow remain.

Amaka, no be you wan know, if you no sick, if no Ireti, how you go live?

Just look well. Without all this chain, you fit happy. You fit be small sun, happy fruit, you fit be black hole, but you no go ever be anybody load.

The freedom sweet small, but fear dey join am. Still, I dey ready for am.