Chapter 3: The Argument Nobody Won

First thing wey come out for him mouth be, "I fear say you go stop me. If I miss this chance now, e fit no come again for my life."

As he talk, him voice low. I just dey look am, dey try understand if na the same Auwalu I marry be this.

I fire back, "So wetin you want make I do? Carry two children for head, plus your papa and mama join?"

My mind dey race, my chest dey hot. This kain thing no fit happen for my mama time, na woman go just carry everybody without talk?

"Just endure, Morayo. Think say you dey do am for me, for the children. Once I come back, things go better. At least, dem go promote me to deputy manager. I go get fifteen days holiday every year, I promise say I go try come see una. Salary, both company for here and abroad go dey pay me."

I just dey count all the excuses for my mind. For Naija, we sabi hear plenty sugar talk before action dey show. I dey wait, but the pain for my chest dey increase.

"Endure? You dey talk am like say e easy. How you want make I endure?"

I stand up, cross hand for chest, dey look am like say I dey see stranger. My voice no low again; e dey climb. Even my shadow dey shake.

"Our son just start primary one. All him learning and living habits na now we suppose help am build. As e dey adjust, the whole family suppose cooperate. Na big job. E need person to pick and drop am, plus help with homework."

Every day, na me dey rush from work, dey pick Sulaiman. Rain fit fall, go-slow fit block road, but I dey always try. For Naija, na woman work dey double.

"Our daughter just start nursery. She never sabi rules, plenty things dey to teach her. You don forget how wahala dey for nursery? I do three years growth journal and craft assignment for our son. Wetin you talk that time? You talk say you go do all those things for our daughter."

Na true. That year, Auwalu talk big say him go dey present for Aisha, but now, see as e dey behave like say nothing concern am again.

"Other people get elders wey dey help. Your parents move in with us since dem retire at fifty. Every month, money for house and medicine no be small thing. I never complain, but now, for your own career, you no even discuss with me before you wan dump everything for my head."

Quick flashback just enter my mind: that day Sulaiman get temperature, I rush am go general hospital, stay all night for bench, dey pray make dem see us quick. Na only me dey run up and down, no help.

The stress too much. Market price dey go up, drugs dey cost, children school dey collect levy every time. Yet, I never complain. But see as he take am for granted.

"Auwalu, no be only selfish you selfish, you even wicked join."

My mouth just dey run, e no fit hold again. The way pain dey do me, if I hold am, my chest go burst.

I no fit hold my emotions, so my voice rise.

Even neighbours for next compound fit hear my voice that night. Tears just dey my eyes, but I no wan make am see am fall.

Outside, Auwalu mama dey knock door: "Morayo, abeg talk with Auwalu, no dey shout. Auwalu na man, e no good to dey scold am like this. E don reach ten o’clock, the children dey sleep—no wake dem. My back dey pain me, if dem wake, na you go take care."

She add one of her classic proverbs: "Na so una young people dey do—no get patience for marriage again."

The woman voice just dey carry that ancient complain wey only mother-in-law sabi use. She go cough small, add sigh. I just dey bite lip make I no shout go meet am.

Auwalu quickly say, "Mama, I dey talk with Morayo, abeg go your room."

He use that him soft voice wey he dey reserve for him mama. I just dey observe as him dey manage all of us.

Him mama grumble, "No fit even talk small," then waka.

She hiss small, drag leg for corridor, carry wrapper tie for chest. I just ignore her.

I just look Auwalu with side-eye. For the mirror behind am, I see my own sharp, bitter face, I come remember that saying: as you take show face to life, na so life go show you back.

That Yoruba proverb fit this kain matter. I just dey wonder, na so I wan continue dey suffer for this marriage?

E fit die, I reason am.

I dey ask myself, this stress, e worth am? If person kpai, who go help me take care of my pikin? Who go even remember my own effort?

All this one, na the man wey dey my front cause am.

I look am well. My eye red, but I try compose. For this life, sometimes na your own person go be your problem.

This man still dey calmly dey explain everything to me, one by one.

Him face dey calm, but my mind dey boil. E dey talk as if say e sure say na only him reason dey correct. I just dey look am, dey calculate my next move.