Chapter 7: Regret and Family Secrets

After Makurdi, I rush go house lock myself inside room.

I off my phone, cover myself with thick wrapper, dey shiver. My heart dey knock like carpenter dey roof.

My heart really break. To leave person wey you love no easy.

Na true talk. I dey wish say things fit change, but I no get power pass fate.

I still dey feel guilty, because I judge am before time, follow book plot.

Na me rush, na me judge, na me play God. My conscience dey bite me.

My parents dey try console me, but I no answer.

Mama dey knock my door, papa dey talk, but I no gree open. Na only my tears I dey hear.

Dem think say Chijioke wrong me, but na only me know say him no do anything.

I dey wish say I fit tell them the truth, but how I go start? Who go understand?

Chijioke call me tire, but I no pick.

My phone dey ring until the battery die. Each missed call dey pain me, but I no fit talk.

Later, he even show for my house, beg to see me.

My small cousins dey run to me, "Aunty, Uncle Chijioke dey outside!" I just cover my face, pretend say I dey sleep.

I know say this kind sudden breakup no easy for am.

For years, na me be his person. Suddenly, I disappear. I fit feel his pain even from inside my room.

If I follow the book and make am hate me small small, I no go fit take am.

I dey wish say I fit act like heroine, but my own heart soft.

For days, he stand outside my house. My parents, knowing say I no wan see am, no let am enter.

He go stand for gate from morning till evening, dey call my name. Even the gate man dey pity am.

One day rain fall—he stand for outside, wet finish, but still no go.

Neighbours dey talk, "Na so love dey do person?" My own heart dey break afresh.

After all, my parents watch am grow. Their heart soft, dem let am enter.

Mama bring him inside, give am dry towel. Papa just shake head, eyes full of pity.

Outside my door, I hear am dey beg.

He dey kneel down, voice weak. "Kamsi, na me. I beg, open."

"Baby, na my fault. You no go talk to me?"

His voice dey tremble. I dey cover my ear with pillow, but e no help.

"Na my mistake. I no suppose drink, I no suppose dirty myself."

He dey blame himself, even though na me cause am.

"I don wash myself. You no go look me?"

His voice small, almost like whisper. I feel the pain for his chest.

"Baby, abeg..."

He choke on his tears, the words hang for air.

His voice crack. "I gats change my skin before you go see me?"

The pain for his voice heavy. My own tears join am.

I know say he fit really do am, so I open the door, tears full my face.

The sight of him, soaked, shivering, dey cut me like blade.

He dey soaked, like dog wey fall inside gutter, stretch hand to hug me, but stop halfway.

He pause, eye dey beg. The same pride and pain dey war for his face.

I look his skin—his neck red, like say he scrub am raw, even the bite marks don peel.

Na me cause am, but he dey suffer pass me. My hand shake as I touch the marks.

"Baby, give me one more chance, abeg?"

He dey hope, his voice low, like person wey dey beg for life.

"Chijioke, stop. Without me, you fit love another person."

I force myself talk am. My mind dey shout, "No!" but my mouth dey betray me.

"No other person dey. Never." His eyes red as he talk am.

He squeeze his fist, stubbornness dey his bone.

"So Amina nko? Fit talk say her presence no shake you?"

I talk am soft, but the question heavy. Even he no fit deny.