Chapter 4: Two Lines and Too Late

I took three days off work.

That day, after Derek left, I vomited.

At first, I thought it was just my body’s reaction to being betrayed by both my boyfriend and my friend.

But later, while cleaning up the dishes, just the smell of greasy food made me throw up again.

With a sinking feeling, I shuffled past the flickering Redbox outside the CVS, clutching my coat tight, barely meeting the cashier’s eyes as I grabbed the test.

Those glaring two lines made my vision go black.

Ridiculous, isn’t it?

Just half a month ago,

Derek had pulled me into bed and we went wild all night.

He said, "Natalie, let’s have a baby."

That time, we hadn’t used any protection.

How

could it be so coincidental?

I closed my eyes.

It took me three days to barely accept

the fact that Derek was already gone.

My hand instinctively rested on my stomach.

I’m sorry.

You, who were never expected,

are destined never to come into this world.

The buzzing lights of CVS and the rain-soaked sidewalk felt like a scene from someone else’s story. As I stood in the bathroom staring at those two pink lines, the world seemed to tilt, my breath caught somewhere between a sob and a laugh. I pressed my palm against my flat stomach, tears slipping down without warning. For three days, I tried to imagine what could have been, but every time the thought came close, it recoiled in pain. Alone in my apartment, I whispered apologies to the emptiness inside me, wishing things could be different, wishing I could rewind and make better choices—for myself and for the tiny life that would never be.