Chapter 4: Isolation and Hunger

She stop to dey talk to me.

For days, she act like say I no exist. Her waka dey pass my table like breeze.

No be only that, she wan change seat.

Na so she dey waka, dey beg people, dey talk with soft voice, dey explain say she wan sit another place.

During break before night prep end, she waka meet everybody dey beg make dem change seat with her.

She waka round class, even people wey no like her, she beg. The shame dey show for her face.

Nobody answer her.

Some just bone face, some dey form busy, some dey even stand up waka go another corner.

Most girls no like her—she dey rough, no dey clean, dey lie too much. Girls dey form clique, dey squeeze face. If you no dey use roll-on, dem no go near you.

The boys just dey make noise.

Boys dey joke, dey laugh, dey even shout her nickname: 'Halima Goat Fringe.' Nobody get her time.

Dey joke say nobody wan near Mama Put puff-puff.

Na old gist. Dem dey use am run comedy for class, dey shout say she dey chop free puff-puff up and down.

She still dey ask, as if she no dey hear English.

She no gree give up. Every desk, she go try, dey talk soft, dey smile small. The thing dey tire me.

After she ask finish, nobody gree.

She waka go back her seat, her step slow. Even I sef pity her.

She gats stand near me again.

No choice. Na the only seat wey remain.

Second prep bell ring, to enter class she gats ask me make I shift my chair small.

She stand for door, dey wait. I dey act like say I no see am, but I dey watch her from corner eye.

She look down at me, her goat-bite fringe just dey hang, she no talk.

Her hair rough, the fringe dey scatter. I dey see sadness for her eye.

I don dey hold piss since, I fit shift?

My own dey worry me, but I no wan move. Pride dey my chest.

We just dey look each other, I dey spin my pen, dey wait make she call my name, make she just talk, or even cough.

The tension thick. If person fit cut am with knife.

But she no talk.

She stand, dey look ground. I dey wonder if na pride or pain dey hold her mouth.

As I wan talk, class fine girl just talk say she go change seat.

Class fine girl na drama queen. She stand, shake body, say she gree move.

She come sit for my front.

Her seat dey block my view, but I no mind. At least, problem reduce.

Her new seatmate na one fat guy, dey talk plenty, easy to deceive, dey listen to her boast just to help am for homework.

Fat guy dey always dey smile, dey nod like agama. Anything she talk, e go agree, just to get answer for assignment.

E dey vex me.

The thing dey pain me small. But I hide am, form like say I no care.

I no too get patience; if something dey vex me, I go talk.

Na so my mouth dey sharp. I no dey keep anything for mind.

One day, she dey tell the fat guy about her mama dey practice keyboard with her, say if she talk say hand dey pain, her mama go massage her fingers, blow am small.

She dey boast as usual, voice dey loud. Her hand dey show demo, dey act like person dey play piano.

She dey proud.

Her smile wide, eyes dey shine. She forget say wahala dey follow her for class.

I talk: “If your mama love you so, why she no dey give you money chop? This morning na fat guy food you chop again, why e go dey feed you? You no dey shame? Every day, your mama really try.”

My mouth dey itch, but my hand dey shake small. I look her face, see say she dey wait. I still talk.

As I talk am, class turn quiet. People dey look her, dey wait for her reply.

She blush, stand up quick.

The blood rush her face. She just jump up, dey look me, dey find word.

I stand up too, now I no dey on desk, I tall pass her.

I wan show say I senior am, but pride dey my body.

“Wetin?”

I talk am soft, but the anger dey my face. I dey wait make she answer me.

She pause, sit down back.

She no get word. She just carry body sit, face front.

She no talk to me, just turn tell fat guy: “My mama na best mama, she dey treat us equal. Over the years, I don spend pass my sister—chop money, hostel fee, school fee, add everything, e reach two hundred thousand. So—”

Her voice low, but she dey try form strong. Fat guy dey nod, dey write.

Na why dem dey control her like that.

For her house, e be like say everything na competition. I just dey look her, dey reason.

She talk say her mama dey bring rice come school to steam, no get so much money for allowance.

She dey explain, dey justify. Na hunger dey worry her, but pride no go let her talk am well.

Her sister for village school, na only five hundred naira per week.

I dey think, life dey hard everywhere, but her own dey pain am pass.

“So, I go read hard, I must be number one, my mama go proud of me, she go happy.”

As she talk am, her face serious. You go see say she dey chase approval, no be just book.

Her big black eyes almost touch fat guy face, na only those words dey sure for her eye.

She dey look fat guy like say answer dey her face. But na only pain I dey see.

Fat guy dey copy homework: “Oh, oh, oh.”

Him no sabi anything, just dey nod. I dey pity am.

I just feel one kind.

Something inside me dey soft. I dey think, maybe I too harsh.

I talk low: “Okay, so?”

I try mellow, but she no even answer me.

She no talk.

Her mouth tight. She dey look her book, dey write. She no get word for me again.

She just dey repeat: “My mama go proud of me.”

Like person dey recite prayer. I know say e dey pain her.

After that, she ignore me, even fat guy, just face her book.

For days, na only her book matter. If teacher call her, na only answer she dey give.

I feel small joy.

Somehow, I dey happy say she no dey disturb me again.

But she really stop to dey chop, begin thin.

I notice her neck dey show, cheek dey dry. Her uniform dey hang for body like hanger.

For night prep, she dey drink at least three bottle water.

She go just dey drink water, dey press belle. Hunger dey worry her, but she no talk.

I get conscience, I no fit make person die of hunger because of me. E no good.

I dey restless for night. My heart dey beat fast. For my mind, I dey ask, if I no do something, wetin go happen?

My chest dey tight, I dey wish say I fit swallow my words like cold garri.