Chapter 1: Text Message of Wahala

During the seven-day campus lockdown, all of us receive one warning text for our phone:

[Abeg, no try craze. Follow these 25 rules, make wahala no jam you. If you commot before dem lift lockdown, na your own wahala. You fit only commot after school lift am in seven days. Any student wey commot early...]

That moment, my phone dey vibrate like small generator. I read the message again, heart dey beat gbim-gbim, like when NEPA dey play with light.

1

For advanced mathematics class, everything just normal until my phone buzz again—one new text land:

[1. No answer any question from the teacher.]

[2. If the teacher drag class pass time, ignore am. After class, no stay for the classroom.]

[3. No skip class. Just dey quiet for the classroom.]

[4. Library dey very safe, but you fit stay there for only two hours at a time. Dey quiet for library, if not, the administrator go punish you.]

[5. Hostel dey very safe, but only from 8 p.m. reach 8 a.m. the next morning.]

[6. Study room dey safe, but only for one hour at a time. Students fit talk to each other, but no be everybody for the study room be normal.]

[7. If people inside no open hostel door by themselves, nobody outside fit enter.]

[8. After 11 p.m., hostel inspectors go come. No open door for them.]

[9. No off the lights by yourself for night; the lights go off by themselves.]

[10. If you see anybody wey wear tall red hat for hostel corridor, run go find hostel manager sharp sharp. That time, no look back.]

[11. If wahala dey inside hostel, find hostel manager; if na outside, find counselor.]

[12. No go principal’s office.]

[13. No chop the meat pies from cafeteria.]

[14. Avoid cats for campus, and abeg no feed them, because you no fit choose which part of your body you go use feed cat.]

[15. No dogs dey school. If anybody talk say them see dog, avoid them.]

[16. Beware of student union. Nobody dey student union.]

[17. No leave hostel after midnight; wait till day break.]

[18. For hostel wey don wipe out, no chop anything inside, and no talk to anybody inside.]

[19. No talk to anybody for bathroom stalls for school.]

[20. Before you sleep, make sure say your roommates dey normal. If you notice anything wey no pure, talk, 'The dog dey outside,' then lock out anybody wey wan comot.]

[21. Try your best to protect your roommates. To survive alone hard.]

[22. No over chop, no dey greedy.]

[23. No trust people anyhow.]

[24. Just hold body for seven days. After seven days, when school lift the lockdown, enter bus route 17 and commot.]

[25. Before school lift lockdown, you must not leave school.]

As I finish dey read am, sweat just dey my palm. I fit sense wahala dey near, like when harmattan dey approach. I look up, dey check everybody:

My classmates dey eye each other—I know say all of us don get that same text.

For classroom, the air thick like ogbono soup. You fit smell sweat, cheap perfume, and small fear for air. Some dey try form normal, but e dey clear for face say dem dey reason something deep.

I wan whisper to my roommate, Tunde—

[Remain quiet in the classroom.]

Rule 1 flash for my mind: “No answer teacher question.” I just clamp mouth sharp, carry phone, enter WhatsApp, drop message for hostel group:

Me: Una see that text?

Tunde: Yeah, na prank. I no believe am.

Musa: Prank go reach everybody for class? Tunde, if you no believe, stand up shout make we see if you go kpai.

Tunde: Abeg shift.

Efe: Even if e no make sense, many things dey this world wey science no fit explain. E better make person play safe.

Then Seyi drop dog-head emoji:

Seyi: 🐕🙄 You dey see dog so…

Halima: I dey your side.

Nobody for class talk again.

A thick silence just land for class like Oga Principal enter. Everybody just dey press phone quietly, eyes dey roll up and down. Suddenly, person burst laugh—

Hahahahaha

The laugh come from my front. I look up, na that TikTok guy, e so deep inside TikTok Nigeria, e no even notice the message.

E no even send danger. As e dey laugh, some people squeeze face, others just dey look ground. The laughter just dey somehow for that kind moment.

Teacher stop lecture, drop small wicked laugh. "Heh, heh."

The way teacher mouth bend, e no pure at all. Somebody cough, but quick cover mouth. Nobody wan make eye contact. I swear, the chill for my body cold pass Ilorin weather. Teacher dey look us like person dey count goat for Christmas market.

Nobody talk again.

For this school, everybody sabi say if you disrespect teacher, na you go pay. Teacher word na law. If you too dey do anyhow, na wahala sure pass.

After advanced math teacher finish, the TikTok guy just freeze. E eye blank, e stand up like NEPA pole—straight, no movement, no emotion. E raise head slow, body begin float, before you know, e dey hang for middle of classroom.

Somebody chair fall for ground, but nobody move. The red liquid dey drip, dey soak textbook, dey spread like palm oil for water. My body cold.

Ah—

My mouth open, but shout no come out. That kain fear wey fit make person forget name.

Some girls wey dey fear scream, but dem own end no different.

Their voice scatter the air, but as e finish, everywhere quiet like grave.

Teacher continue lecture as if nothing happen. For my mind, I dey whisper, “God abeg, cover me with your blood.” Nobody move, nobody even breathe loud.

Our hostel group chat just scatter:

Tunde: Wetin dey happen? The text na real?

Musa: I don decide, after class I dey go library. Who believe say my first time for library go be like this.

Efe: I go check study room, maybe I fit find new info.

Me: Boss Efe, na you be the real man. Our hostel dog-lives dey your hand now.

Efe: Abeg, no dey use 'dog' anyhow.

Seyi: 🐕🙄 You dey see dog so…

Me: Oloshi! You wan give me fear. I dey with Tunde since, no use me play.

Halima: I fit testify.

……

Everybody dey try form normal for class, but you fit see say hands dey shake under table. We dey count down seconds till bell ring.

Ding ling ling—the bell for end of class ring.

Advanced math teacher no even send am, e begin call students make dem answer question.

[No answer any question from teacher.]

[If teacher drag class pass time, ignore am. After class, no stay for classroom.]

Me no wan hear story, the six of us from hostel grab our load, disappear.

For that moment, na so we dash out like say dem dey share jollof for back gate. Nobody look back, even Seyi wey dey always drag leg waka.