Chapter 6: New Dreams, Old Guilt

As I comot office, everywhere don dark. All students don go. I check phone, see for group chat say dem dey do teacher appreciation dinner for hotel near school. Everybody dey there. Tunde sef dey.

Night for UI dey get one special breeze. That evening, moon dey high, road dey silent. I waka reach hotel, my mind dey shake, but I gree go.

Person post him picture for group: white T-shirt, cargo trouser, light jacket for hand—tall, slim, like iroko. Eyelash low, face dey calm. That kind person, you go notice am anywhere.

Me...

I look up. The glass for notice board reflect my face—slim, just normal. Because I dey read late, two pimples dey my forehead. I no resemble the fine babe for my fake photo at all.

Sometimes, e dey pain me. I go dey look mirror, dey wish say I fit borrow beauty just for one day.

Group still dey yarn:

"Senior Tunde fine, but e be like say him mind dey somewhere, dey drink, dey think."

"Maybe na Kamsi dey his mind. After all, dem suppose meet at the top."

The gist long, everybody dey speculate, dey add salt and Maggi.

Kamsi reply: "We don meet o."

She just wan pepper people, dey show her level for group chat. As if say love na competition for Olympics.

Because I dey feel guilty, I no plan meet Tunde. But that night breeze just dey sweet, na so I get urge to see am.

The air carry small scent of fried plantain from roadside mama put. I take am as sign say I fit face my wahala, even if na for small time.

But as I reach hotel, I check my phone for the floor number. Two messages pop up from Tunde:

"That photo no be you, abi?"

"You ugly die for real life. How you go use fake photo deceive me? Nonsense."

My hand just dey shake. The shame hot like pepper for eye. My leg just freeze for hotel corridor. If I fit disappear, I for do am.

I just freeze. Small time, new post appear for WhatsApp status. Kamsi post am. She wear Tunde jacket, lean for his body. Caption:

"I catch the moon."

As I see am, my chest squeeze. Na so I know say this cruise don end. I carry my leg waka home like who lose bet for betting shop.

Ibadan night road dey quiet, keke napep horn for distance, and suya smoke dey float for junction.

That night, I waka home under moon and breeze. I delete Tunde from my contacts, delete that my fake fantasy join.

For road, I dey hear sound of owls, cold wind dey blow my face, but my chest dey hot. As I delete him number, I feel small free, small empty. I tell myself, no be every story go end like Nollywood film.

For the next two months, as state arts top scorer, I dey get plenty lesson jobs, make better money. With scholarship join, before school start I wire 1.35 million naira give my mama, keep only 150,000 for myself.

Mama hug me, her tears dey soak my neck. "Na my fault as mama, make pikin dey hustle to pay debt..."

She dey sob, but I dey rub her back, dey console am. E shock am as I wire the money—she no fit believe say her pikin turn ATM.

I rub her hair. "I don turn eighteen since. I no be small pikin again."

Her laugh mix with cry. She tap my back, say make I go sleep, tomorrow get new sun.