Chapter 5: The Night Everything Changed

Three years ago, na our fourth anniversary. I remember the sun that day, how market women dey call me ‘fine girl’ because my smile full everywhere. I dey count hours till night.

I book restaurant one month before, buy new dress, even use half day do my hair for Mama Kemi’s braid stand. The money I spend for that day fit buy new phone. My pride na say Chisom go see me finish, say love still dey run.

Chisom laugh for phone: “You too serious o. If I late, na me go dey guilty, abi?” E dey joke, but I dey hope say e go show. I fit hear im smile through call.

I just reply: “As you sabi.” I dey form hard babe, but my heart dey beat. No time for ‘last last’ story.

But that night, I wait for restaurant till nine. Waiter dey pity me, dey clean table, dey watch clock. My food don cold, my hope dey melt.

Waiter come meet me third time ask if I wan order, I call Chisom for the seventh time. Even the waiter voice don turn pity-pity. My own pride dey pain me. I still dial im number. No answer.

My own pride don break. My phone hand dey shake. I feel tears dey gather for eye. Anger catch me, I pay bill, enter keke go im house, burst inside.

As I enter, keke man dey blast Fuji for radio, rain dey drum for zinc roof, city light dey blink like Christmas. Keke man even dey look me with side eye. I fit pay extra for the pain I dey feel.

Parlour dark, only small light for study, woman voice dey laugh low low. My head spin. Jealousy, pain, anger—all join. I freeze, brain dey buzz.

My leg stiff for ground. Even ghost go fear this kind moment. Next thing, I kick study door open. The force scatter the door, dust fly. Na only pain dey move me.

Chisom dey computer, dey do WhatsApp video call. Im back turn, but I see as e dey smile, e hand dey wave small. E see me, freeze, then frown. “Ngozi?”

E act like e no expect me. Im eye wide, face change. I bone face, “You stand me up for anniversary just dey do video with another woman?” The pain sharp for my throat. My own voice don break.

E switch to English for call, tell them make dem wait, then close laptop. The woman voice cut, silence full room. E face me, voice low.

E voice tired: “Last minute foreign project. Time zone wahala. Na only this time I fit talk.” E dey beg, but na excuse full ground. I dey shake.

“And na why you dey laugh like say na joke?” If na joke, I no dey laugh. My eye dey red.

“Ngozi.” E stand, voice low. “No dey do like this.” As e call my name, pain still dey ground. My stubbornness dey hold me.

No dey do like this? I wan shout, but I dey swallow pride. E pain me reach bone. I plan everything for anniversary, you no show, now na me dey overdo?

This world no fair. Even for love, pesin fit lose. I vex scatter. I shout, “Break up!” The word hang for air like curse. E cut my heart too.

E no take am serious. “No dey do drama, Ngozi. I know say na my fault, tomorrow I—” E dey beg but I no wan hear. Na pain dey move me now.

I carry paper from table throw am for am. “Drama go finish you! I say break up!” The paper scatter for air, e land for im head. Na so pain dey push pesin to madness.

Na then e realize say I mean am. Im eye sharp, body stiff. E begin fear. E come hold my arm, eyes cold. “Talk am again?”

Im grip hard. Na pride dey hold am. The pain dey inside. I remove im hand, talk am word by word:

My mouth dry, but I force the words out, no blink. “I. Say. Break. Up!” Each word na bullet. The silence after loud.

Then I waka commot, jam door well. The door vibrate as I waka go out. My heart dey race, my head dey cloud.

Outside rain dey fall. I stand for road dey find taxi. The rain dey beat me, but I no care. Na tears join the water.

Phone buzz. Message from Chisom: Screen flash, I see im name. My hand shake as I open message. “Where you dey?” I off phone.

I no wan answer. I dey feel like the world don end. Taxi stop. I enter, give address. Driver dey look me, I just bone face, no greet.

Car dey go inside rain. I lean for window, tears dey flow. The glass cold, my body warm. The tears mix with rain for cheek.

Four years together, na the first and last time I break up with Chisom. My mind dey replay all the memories. I dey wonder if I fit forgive am.

For traffic light, one trailer just jam our taxi head-on. No warning, no sign. Just one loud noise.

I no even shout before everywhere dark. My soul just waka out sharp sharp. No pain, no drama.

When I open eye, I dey float for air, dey watch dem cover my body with white cloth. Hospital light dey harsh, people dey cry. I dey see as my mama dey faint, my sister dey shout.

Chisom reach hospital first. Im face no be here. E eye red, e voice crack. E soak finish, face white like chalk, hold doctor cloth: “Abeg, save her!”

E dey shake, e grip tight. Doctor dey try calm am, but im own pain pass. Doctor shake head. “Sorry, she don go...”

That moment, Chisom just collapse. E fall for corridor, nurse try hold am. Im own heart break scatter ground. For hospital corridor, e cry like pikin—heart break, e no fit control am.

Im cry loud, dem no fit hold am. The pain make nurse begin pray. My mama kneel down, dey shout “Chineke, bring my pikin back!” as nurse dey hold am.

E dey beg, dey say sorry, dey call me make I come back. E kneel, e shout, e promise everything. The voice dey echo.

Three days after I die, spirit messengers carry my soul go land of ancestors. The journey cold, but the messengers gentle. Dem dey whisper proverb, dey guide me well.

Baba Aro check Book of Life and Death, frown. “Ngozi, your time never reach. You die untimely.” Im frown deep, like thunder dey boil for im chest. The Book big, with plenty old writing.

I shock. “Wetin you mean?” I dey fear. I dey hope say e go say mistake.

“E mean say you no suppose die.” Im voice gentle. Im eyes pity me. Na pain wey dem dey hide from children.

“So I fit go back?” I dey beg. I dey look for hope.

“Your body don spoil, you no fit go back,” Baba Aro sigh. “But...” E pause, e look me like say e dey weigh my spirit. “If your mind strong well, you fit stay some more years.”

Im talk am like assignment for stubborn pikin. E dey test my heart.

I no understand that time. Later I come know—Spirit world get rules, but love fit bend am. I come realize say na pain dey hold me for boundary. Na because Chisom dey dig my grave.

Im stubborn love na like rope. E no gree loose me. For Naija, love fit pass juju sometimes.