Chapter 3: The Heartbeat Before the Fall

He pointed at the bottle in my hand, raising an eyebrow. It was such an Eli thing to say—cutting through the drama with something totally mundane.

Me: “…"

I stared at him, then at the bottle, then back at him. I wanted to laugh, but I held it in. Trust Eli to notice the smallest details.

He lived in a tiny apartment. Peeling wallpaper. Leaky faucet.

He never complained, but it was obvious—secondhand clothes, packed lunches, always turning down invites to the movies. I tried to help without making it obvious, but he was proud.

Thanks to my family's money, I never worried about lunch money or field trips.

Not a ton, but enough. My parents always gave me a little extra for emergencies, and I figured this counted.

It was the least I could do. At least, that's what I told myself. Truth was, I just wanted an excuse to spend more time with him.

He tried to refuse at first, but I insisted. "You’re the smartest guy in our grade," I told him. "If you don’t help me, I’m doomed."

I changed up my routes, ducked into bathrooms, even skipped assemblies if I knew she'd be there.

I wasn’t about to give her another chance to turn me into the punchline of the week.

I watched him out of the corner of my eye. He smiled a little easier now. Seemed lighter, without Madison's shadow.

If I could stop even one bad thing from happening, maybe this second chance would be worth it.

He was stubborn. Quick to anger. But he never raised his voice in cruelty.

He always made sure I had what I needed. He’d leave the last slice of pizza for me, fix things around the apartment without being asked. It wasn’t love, but it was something.

He never threw it in my face. Never made me feel like a burden.

He never held it over my head, never made me feel small. Sometimes, I wondered if he cared more than he let on.

He slouched in his chair, rubbing his temples. Looked miserable.

He sat slouched over the desk, hair falling into his eyes. His skin looked paler than usual, and he kept rubbing his temples like he had a headache.

He looked beat. The kind of tired sleep can't fix.

He looked tired, but he didn’t complain. I slid a pack of tissues across the table, just in case.

I kept my voice light. Teasing. But my heart was pounding.

My voice came out softer than I meant. I stared at the page, pretending to read, but my heart was pounding.

He tapped his pen against the table. Eyes fixed somewhere over my shoulder.

He didn’t look at me, just twirled his pen between his fingers. I wondered what was going on behind those eyes.

His tone was careful, guarded. He always did this—deflected, kept his walls up. I felt a pang of frustration.

I tried to keep my voice steady. But the words came out soft. A warning. A plea. I didn't want to see him hurt. Not again.

It sounded lame, but I meant it. I didn’t want him to get hurt chasing after someone who didn’t care.

Maybe it was selfish. But I wanted him to be okay. Even if it meant letting him go.

He glanced at me, eyebrow raised. I shrugged, trying to look nonchalant.

He studied me for a moment. Then looked away. I wondered if he'd ever really hear what I was trying to say.

His dark eyes stayed steady, like he didn’t get what I meant.

It settled in my chest. Heavy. Cold. I tried to shake it off, but it clung to me.

Suddenly, I felt a wave of insecurity.

I'd seen her games. The way she played with people's hearts. I didn't want Eli to be her next casualty.

My hands shook as I fumbled with my pencil. What if I was wrong about everything? What if Alexis really was the one for him?

The thought made my stomach twist. Hated that I cared so much about what he felt for her.

The air turned awkward, so I pointed to a physics problem. “Enough chit-chat. I don’t get this one—can you walk me through it?”

I forced a smile. Needed to change the subject before I said something I'd regret.

He picked up his pen and asked, “Didn’t you say you hated physics?”

I tried to sound breezy. My voice shook. I tapped my pencil against the page, pretending to be absorbed.

His handwriting—neat, precise. He explained each step slowly. Made sure I understood.

He explained each step slowly, making sure I understood.

I tried to focus. But my mind kept drifting. There was something soothing about his voice.

There was something soothing about his voice, the way he made even the hardest problems seem manageable.

The library windows fogged up. The world outside, blurry. I shivered and pulled my sweater tighter.

I shivered, pulling my sweater tighter around me.

I wanted to reach out. Warm his hands in mine. Instead, I fished a hand warmer out of my bag and pressed it into his palm.

He rolled the warmer between his palms, lips pressed into a thin line. For a second, I thought he might actually thank me. Instead, he just nodded, eyes flickering away.

I grinned, trying to lighten the mood. Took the pen from his hand. My fingers brushed his. For a second, I thought he'd pull away. But he didn't.

He looked startled. Eyes wide. I smiled, hoping he'd get it was a peace offering.

The moment stretched. Awkward and sweet. The tips of his ears turned pink.

He was always so careful. Hesitant to accept kindness. I wondered what it would take for him to believe he deserved it.

Had he always been this reserved? Or did life make him that way? Maybe he'd always been waiting for someone to reach out first.

I almost laughed. Maybe we both wore masks. Hiding the parts of ourselves we didn't want anyone to see.

I was determined to keep the conversation going. Stay in this moment a little longer.

His tone was teasing. A hint of a smile at the corners of his mouth. First time I'd seen him relax all day.

He looked away, embarrassed. Trying to cover up his curiosity.

I fiddled with my pencil. Traced patterns on the table. My throat felt tight. But I forced myself to speak.

The words came out softer than I meant. I hoped he wouldn't press for details.

He gripped his pen tightly. Veins standing out. I wondered what he was thinking. Did he know I was talking about Carter?

He shut down so fast, my head spun. The warmth between us vanished. Replaced by a wall I couldn't see over.

His words were final. No room for argument. I stared at him, stunned.

I opened my mouth to protest. But the words caught in my throat. Nothing I could say would make it better.

I bit back a smile. He hated admitting when he was upset. Hated losing even more.

I wanted to tease him. But I held back. The air felt fragile. I didn't want to break it.

He was a storm. Unpredictable. Wild. I never knew which version I'd get.

It was part of what drew me to him. Even when I knew better. He was a puzzle I couldn't solve.

The vibration startled me. Pulled me out of my thoughts. I grabbed my phone. Heart pounding.

His name lit up my screen. Familiar. Comforting. I felt a rush of nostalgia. And something sharper—regret, maybe.

My breath caught. I read the message twice. Just to be sure I hadn't imagined it.

A simple request. But my heart raced. I typed out a quick reply. Fingers trembling.

The whole school buzzed about it. Posters lined the halls. Teachers wouldn't stop talking about how proud they were.

The auditorium was packed. Students crammed into every seat. The air buzzed with excitement.

Carter looked confident. At ease in the spotlight. He spoke with a charisma that made people lean in.

Their voices were low. Conspiratorial. I tried not to listen, but it was impossible to block out.

I rolled my eyes. But I couldn't help agreeing. He'd always been easy on the eyes.

The exaggeration made me smile. Rumors like that always grew with every retelling.

Their sighs were dreamy. Full of longing. I felt a pang of jealousy, even though I knew it was silly.

He was my first everything. First dance. First heartbreak. First real friend.

He was the sun. The rest of us just orbited around him.

The kind of guy parents pointed at—"Why can't you be more like Carter?" He made everything look easy.

It was a rite of passage. A secret club we all belonged to. I never worked up the courage to join.

It was after a football game. Bleachers sticky with spilled soda. She handed him a letter. Her hands shook. The whole group held its breath.

He was always casual with me. Never afraid to let his guard down.

He sounded exasperated, but there was a fondness in his voice.

He squeezed my shoulder. Grinned. I ducked my head, hiding my blush.

The straw squeaked against the cup. Oddly loud in the quiet room. I wished I could disappear.

The truth tasted bitter. Like old coffee. I told myself it was safer this way.

I wanted to comfort her. Tell her she wasn't alone. But I kept quiet.

It was the risk that kept me silent. The fear of losing what little I had.

I blinked, startled. The room erupted in cheers. Carter flashed a dazzling smile.

He moved through the crowd with ease. His eyes found mine. My heart skipped a beat.

His voice was warm. Familiar. I grinned. The tension melted away.

We grabbed trays. Found a quiet corner, away from the chaos. The smell of fries and ketchup filled the air.

I tried to ignore them. Focused on my food. But their stares felt heavy.

They made me self-conscious. Like every bite was being judged.

Their whispers followed us out the door. A chorus of speculation and envy.

I kicked at a stray pebble. My frustration bubbled over.

The words slipped out before I could stop them. I winced. Carter just laughed.

He had a knack for picking up on the things I didn't say.

The question hung in the air. Electric. I froze.

He held my gaze. Unflinching. My heart pounded so loud I was sure he could hear it.

Hope flared in my chest. Bright. Dangerous. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.

My foot caught on the edge of a step. Suddenly, I was falling. The world tilted. Everything slowed.

Each step blurred past. The air knocked out of my lungs. I squeezed my eyes shut. Waiting for the pain.

His arms wrapped around me. Steady. Strong. He caught me just in time.

My hands shook as I checked the damage. Carter fussed over me. His brow furrowed in concern.

The sting brought tears to my eyes. Carter squeezed my hand, whispering reassurances.

She handed me a juice box and a pack of crackers. Insisted I rest. Carter made a show of reading my test papers.

He made little comments about my handwriting. Teased me about the doodles in the margins.

His tone was casual. But I could hear the hope in his voice.

He waggled his eyebrows, trying to lighten the mood. My cheeks flushed.

He always seemed to know everything. Even when I tried to keep secrets.

I tried to sound convincing. My voice wobbled. Carter just smiled knowingly.

I trailed off, suddenly shy. The future felt big. Uncertain.

He leaned back in his chair. The corners of his eyes crinkled. My heart fluttered.

His words hung in the air. Hopeful. Inviting. I stared at him, stunned.

He said it so simply. Like it was the most natural thing in the world.

I gripped the edge of the bed. Tried to steady myself. My mind raced.

I took a few deep breaths. Willed my heart to slow down. The room felt too small.

I replayed his words. Over and over. Did he like me? Or was he just being kind?

I pinched myself. The sting was real enough.

I recognized Madison's voice instantly. High-pitched. Anxious. I strained to listen.

She sounded frantic. Words tumbling over each other.

His reply was muffled. But I could hear the exhaustion in his tone.

Her voice wobbled. Thick with unshed tears.

I heard the clatter of pills. The soft murmur of reassurance.

She dropped her voice to a whisper. I held my breath.

Her tone was soft. Almost pleading.

The question hung in the air. Heavy. Dangerous. My heart pounded.

I squeezed my eyes shut. Wished I could disappear. The silence stretched.

He sounded tired. Defeated.

A single word. Flat. Emotionless. My heart twisted.

I could hear it in her voice. The way she exhaled. The tension melting away.

Her words were syrupy sweet. But I could hear the triumph.

It was sharp. Unexpected. I didn't know who I was angry at.

Maybe it was jealousy. Maybe regret. Either way, it hurt.

I woke up drenched in sweat. Head pounding. Carter showed up with a bottle of Gatorade.

He wrapped his arm around my waist. Supported me as we shuffled down the hallway.

The world tilted. Edges blurring. I leaned against the wall.

He moved slowly. Backpack slung over one shoulder.

He clutched it tightly. Knuckles white.

The bandage was already fraying at the edges. I picked at it. Lost in thought.

I looked up, startled. Eli stood above me.

He spoke softly. Careful not to draw attention.

He hesitated. Shifted from foot to foot.

His offer surprised me. I shook my head.

I tried to sound firm. But my voice cracked.

He waved the slip triumphantly. Grinned. I felt a rush of gratitude.

His arm was steady. Warm around my shoulders.

I didn't look back. But I could feel Eli's eyes on me.

I let myself hope. Just for a moment.

It was bittersweet. Relief and regret.

I wanted him to be happy. Even if it wasn't with me.

The classroom buzzed with excitement. Everyone jostled for their spots.

It was a rare privilege. Everyone took it seriously.

He strode to the middle row. Claimed his usual spot by the window.

He unpacked his books. Arranged them in neat stacks.

I wanted space. A little distance from the chaos.

Their branches were bare now. But I knew they'd bloom soon.

I pictured the yard awash in pink. The air thick with the scent of flowers.

I kept my distance. Focused on my studies. My friends.

His name was called. The room erupted in applause.

Everyone expected it. He was the best, after all.

He never did anything halfway. I admired his determination.

It was a selfless move. The kind of thing that made people talk.

The thought made my chest ache. I told myself it didn't matter.

I repeated it like a mantra. Hoping it would make the hurt go away.

I walked out of the exam room. The weight of months of studying lifted from my shoulders.

Students poured into the halls. Laughter echoed off the walls.

I took a deep breath. Savored the taste of freedom.

Their joy was infectious. For a moment, I envied them.

I'd spent so long hiding my feelings. Missed out on so much.

The thought hit me like a punch to the gut.

He waved, grinning. My mom stood beside him, snapping photos.

A memory surfaced. Sharp and clear.

She was obsessed. Pulling cards between classes.

Her voice was hushed. Full of mystery.

I laughed it off at the time. But now, it felt like a sign.

I wanted to believe it. Promised myself I wouldn't let the chance slip by.

I squared my shoulders. Determined to see it through.

We hit every coffee shop in town. Laughed until our sides hurt.

His text popped up late at night. Caught me off guard.

The invitation was casual. But I could sense the hope.

I hesitated. Didn't want to let him down.

He was always so thoughtful. Always looking out for me.

There was a buzz in the air. The kind that comes before something big.

It was sleek. A little daring. Nothing like my usual style.

The dress hugged my curves. Made me feel bold. Beautiful.

The music was loud. Lights low. People danced and laughed.

I sipped my drink. Watched the chaos unfold.

She was always the life of the party. Dragged me out of my shell.

She winked. Nudged me playfully.

Her words made me laugh. The tension eased from my shoulders.

She leaned in. Eyes sparkling with mischief.

Their curiosity was infectious. But I wasn't ready to spill my secrets.

She giggled. Eyes dancing.

He sat alone. Nursing a drink. Our eyes met.

I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen him at a party. He looked out of place.

His words echoed in my mind. Sharp. Unforgiving.

The memory stung. More than I cared to admit.

It was my most closely guarded secret. Not even Riley knew.

I wondered what would happen if I told him now.

The question nagged at me. Had I been that obvious?

She was relentless. Refused to drop the subject.

The drink was sweet. The alcohol burned a little on the way down.

It was a lie. A harmless one.

My cheeks were flushed. My nerves steady.

The room was thinning out. People grabbed their coats. Said their goodbyes.

The hallway was quiet. Air cool against my skin.

The grip was firm. Urgent. I spun around.

He stood close. Eyes dark and stormy.

Despite everything, I trusted him.

His words were slurred. Movements unsteady.

I kept my voice soft. Tried to defuse the tension.

I searched his face for answers. He gave nothing away.

His breath was hot against my cheek. Words laced with venom.

His question hung in the air. Heavy with meaning. For a moment, the world tilted. Past and present collided in the narrow stairwell.