Chapter 2: Kitchen Confusion and Spirit Hunger

I just hold him arm, talk softly:

"Why you still dey fear? No worry, once you start you go relax. Come follow me."

I even pat him back small, like how my mama dey do when pikin dey cry. E follow me, but e step dey careful, like say e dey enter shrine.

He just follow me enter kitchen. Then him face come hard.

As we enter, I see say e dey look everything for kitchen like say e never see am before. The way e stand, e body dey block light from window. Kitchen suddenly dey cold, but I dey manage.

The smell of last night’s egusi still dey linger for air, and my nylon bag of pepper dey hang for window. "For kitchen?"

E talk as if e never hear that kind before. I laugh, shake head, "Na so I dey do my own for Lagos. Everywhere na work ground."

"Yes na, kitchen. Wetin happen, you prefer make we start for bedroom?"

I really mean am o. Him eyes just dey burn as e look me.

I just dey tease am, wan see if e go run or stay. Na small test for spirit. Him eyes dey shine like black stone for night.

"...Kitchen dey okay."

I nod, turn back. As e dey look me, I just give am new dishcloth.

I talk gently:

I adjust wrapper for waist, act like big aunty, hand am dishcloth. "Oya, Dafe, welcome. Make we start this life together."

"Oya, Dafe, abeg help me with some work. You sabi wash plate?"

I dey smile like person wey win lottery. I dey hope say e go no vex for small work.

"...Wash plate?"

Dafe just dey look the dishcloth like say e never see that kind thing before.

E hold am like say e be gold chain. My heart dey soft, but I hold laugh.

"Yes, if you no sabi, you fit mop, sweep, wash cloth, anything wey sweet you."

I dey give am options, make e no say I wicked. My mind dey plan how I go enjoy this spirit help.

He ask me, shock: "Wait, na to do housework you buy me?"

I blink.

See as spirit dey look me like say I ask am to fry snow. Na wa. I see as e face change. E be like say I speak Greek. I just dey look am with innocent eye, dey wait answer.

"Yes na, why else?"

I answer sharp sharp, as if na normal thing. Na housework dey tire me pass for this Lagos. I no get time for play.

"..."

Na so the rumbling for this incubus throat just stop.

The silence get weight. I fit hear generator for compound next street. Even Dafe tail stop to dey move. E be like time pause.

For that moment, even mosquito no fit buzz. I dey wonder if I buy correct spirit or na wahala I order.

3

Na true. I carry Dafe come house just to dey help me do housework. The idea self na my colleague give me without knowing. She sef buy incubus online. She dey always brag for office say her own incubus dey cook, dey wash, dey do everything for am, make her dey happy every night. Other people dey laugh anyhow, but my own slow brain just pick the main thing: Help with housework. My eye shine. I too dey work, no get time tidy house. My room dey always scatter anyhow. E dey pain me. So, to get incubus wey sabi housework na sharp investment. Na why I pick the most ‘capable’—Dafe.

Sometimes I dey imagine if my mama for village hear say I carry man spirit enter house just to sweep and mop, she go faint. But me, na my happiness matter. I even tell myself, 'Morayo, you too wise.' As I dey remember my colleague voice, my body just dey light.

As I dey look that tall guy for kitchen dey wash plate with cold face, I just go bed early, relax.

From parlor, I dey hear plate clink for sink. I peep am from corridor, dey admire the way e tall, the way e back straight. Na better spirit workman be this.

For one week, my capable incubus, Dafe, just dey housework for me. E fumble small at first, but after two days, e don sabi everything. Guy wise. When I wake, e don fold my bedsheet. As I dey wash face, e go give me towel. As I come back from work, food don ready. Before sleep, bed don warm. As I enter the bed wey e don use him scent and body warm, I just sigh, soul dey melt. Na correct thing. Na money well spent.

Even my neighbor begin dey ask, "Morayo, which dry cleaner you dey use? Your bedsheet too neat." I just dey shine teeth, no talk anything. Even light sef no gree spoil my mood, I dey float for happiness.

The only wahala be say, Dafe just dey make that rumbling sound. At first, I think say na new place dey make am nervous. But one month pass, e still dey do am. Every night, e go just dey lie for my bed side, no dey talk, no dey press phone, just dey look me, e no even blink. Him fine tail go dey sweep floor small small. E go just dey look like say e dey suffer. I come touch Dafe forehead. The guy dey hot like fire. E be like say e sick true true?

One night, I even dey check him pulse, dey reason if I go buy paracetamol. E no dey cough, but the way e dey look me with big eye, e dey make my heart dey shake. If to say I get holy water, I for spray am.

I quickly pat bed, "Dafe, abeg no sleep for ground tonight, sleep near me."

I use gentle voice, like mama wey dey pet pikin. I dey pity am. If e fall sick now, who go help me clean house?

"I fit sleep for bed?"

Dafe shock. I hold him hand, pity am, "You suppose dey sleep for bed since. From today, na my side you go dey."

I even drag am come bed, like how my aunty dey drag small pikin come side when thunder dey beat. I pat bed, make e relax.

As I talk am, Dafe carry him bedsheet, come lie near me. One fine, cold incubus just dey my pink pillow, face still dey correct, everything perfect. The sight sef dey make me swallow spit. But e still dey make that sound, and him body hot die.

My mind dey fly, dey reason how I go explain if neighbor burst in now see spirit for my bed. I just dey thank God say na single room I get.

"Dafe, abeg rest well tonight, no need wake early tomorrow cook."

I try make am feel better, like mama wey dey pamper pikin. I no wan overwork am.

"But you go hungry."

E still dey reason my welfare, my heart just dey melt. I rub e hand small.

"I go buy akara chop."

I laugh. "No be every time person suppose chop jollof. Sometimes, street food dey sweet pass."

"No clean, I go make am for you."

E just dey look my mouth as I dey talk, eye dark like say e dey think something. Me, I just dey reason how this incubus too dey considerate. Na my fault say I no take care of am, come make am sick. Guilt just dey catch me, so I lean kiss him forehead.

As I press my lips for e forehead, e skin dey cool but hot join. Na spiritual mixture be that. I come dey pray for my mind make e no vex for me.

Dafe eyelash shake. E just hold breath. E call my name, voice don crack:

"Morayo..."

E voice get one kind weight, like say e dey hide many things for chest. I dey feel am deep.

As e wan hug me, me wey no get sense don already help am tuck in. I wrap the hand wey e raise and the tail wey dey waka up and down. I even pretend scold am:

"No dey move anyhow, abeg, no kick bedsheet."

I smile, dey play with the tip of him tail. The way e look me, I know say e dey hold many things for mind.

"..."

Dafe just close eye, like say hope don finish.

The silence sweet, but heavy. My chest dey drum kpom-kpom, like Yoruba drummer for owambe, but I dey pretend say I no see am.

4

After I off light, I turn back give Dafe. I carry my phone, open customer care chat.

I no wan disturb am, so I dey under bedsheet dey type like thief. My finger dey shake. I no get energy for spiritual drama o.

"Madam, my incubus get as e be."

Customer care reply: "Madam, you don check that manual wey dey inside carton? Sometimes e dey help, but no vex if e long. Sorry, I forget send you the manual last time."

I hiss, dey curse them small. Na now dem remember manual? As if say person go just dey read manual for midnight.

I reply, mood low:

"No wahala. But I no sure say manual go solve my own. I feel say my incubus sick, and e bad."

I dey imagine hospital for spirit. I dey fear if e go turn to wahala for me. I rub my forehead, dey pray in my mind.

Customer care: "Madam, abeg explain the symptoms."

"E just dey make noise, body hot, and dey look me like say I offend am."

I try talk am like doctor, make dem understand say na serious matter. I dey even type slow, dey pick my words.

Customer care: "Na normal thing, e mean say e like you well."

I happy.

Na that time, I breathe. My spirit lift. I laugh small, almost wake Dafe. E mean say na normal thing, no be juju.

"So e normal? I think say na because I dey give am housework every day, e come sick."

I dey find assurance, make dem confirm say I never overwork my own spirit. For Lagos, people fit faint for less.

Customer care shock: "Housework? You dey use your incubus do housework?"

E be like say the customer care lady nearly fall chair. I even imagine her face for my mind, eyes wide, mouth open.

I confuse: "No be wetin dem dey do? No be your manual talk say incubi dey capable, fit give human happiness every day?"

I wan argue small, but I dey wait make dem explain. My mind dey wonder if I miss any line for the advert.

"...No wonder your incubus dey act one kind."

Dem talk am slow, like person wey dey talk with in-law. I dey fear, but I dey laugh for mind. E get as e be.

Customer care wan talk more, but e hold mouth. I come dey fear again.

The way the chat pause, I dey imagine if dem dey check with spiritual supervisor. Na wah.

"So e sick, abi?"

"Madam, e no sick, na hunger dey worry am."

My eye big. I dey reason, hunger? Which kind hunger spirit dey get?

"Hunger? But e dey chop well now."

I no understand. Customer care just dey drop message:

My mind dey run to all the rice and beans wey Dafe dey chop for house. I dey reason if I go buy more fruit, or maybe buy vitamin supplement.

"No be food hunger o, na kiss and those kind things e dey find. Incubi no dey do housework, dem dey help human solve desire. Your own just dey starve for you. All the signs wey e dey give, you no just dey catch am."

Dem even add sly smile emoji. Starve for me? Hunger? Wetin be this?

As I rush read ‘Incubus Care Manual’ wey I never open before, I just quiet. So incubi no dey do housework. This ‘capable’ no be that kind ‘capable.’

I dey bite my lip, dey read every word for manual, dey regret say I no open am earlier. E be like say I carry spiritual machine come house, come dey use am do generator.

I turn. The incubus wey close eye before don open am again. E just dey look me, eye big, dey beg—pupil don turn heart shape. E tail dey sneak touch my waist under bedsheet. E no use force, so I no notice. As e see me turn, e freeze, quickly hide tail. But e no fit hold body, e move come closer, call me, voice low, cool, sticky like mint sweet:

E voice cool, e touch my ear like cold fanta. I feel goosebumps for arm. My chest dey drum kpom-kpom, like Yoruba drummer for owambe. Dafe really dey beg.

"Madam, I dey feel somehow."

I dey reason say this 'somehow' get deep meaning. E be like say my village people dey watch me from dream.

"..."

Few days before, e don talk this thing, call me ‘madam’ for that soft tone, but I think say na cold dey worry am, so I give am hot water. E no make noise that night, but e face just dull, like puppy wey dem vex. But now…

As I remember, my mind dey cut. Na small pikin I turn am to. I dey pity am. E just dey lie like puppy wey miss him mama.

I remember customer care talk, so I just cough, feel guilty. Then I lift my bedsheet.

My hand dey shake, but I dey try show courage. I dey reason, 'No be me bring am come? Make I no run now.'

"You wan come sleep for my bed?"

I dey whisper, but my chest dey drum kpom-kpom, like Yoruba drummer for owambe. I dey hope say I no go faint.

Dafe shock, then reply, voice rough:

"Yes."

E voice low, but the way e talk am, e sound like prayer. E just shift come close, eyes dey shine.

5

Dafe just dive under my bedsheet. I no even know how, but e don remove shirt sharp sharp. Eight-pack, flat belle, my eye wan blind. E just press face for my pillow, dey look me from eyebrow reach mouth. Eye deep, greedy.

The body heat wey hit me na another thing. I just dey thank God say NEPA bring light, if not, I for melt. I dey look am, dey swallow spit, dey remember say my mama no dey Lagos.

...Even my own slow brain know say the guy wey dey beside me no be puppy o. Na wolf dey wait make I give am go ahead. I cough, shy, apologize:

My chest dey drum kpom-kpom, like Yoruba drummer for owambe. I dey try form control. The way Dafe dey look me, I know say my village people dey watch.

"Dafe, sorry o, I never raise incubus before, so I no know your… hunger matter. I think say na housework you come do."

I dey try make peace, dey explain my ignorance. I dey hope say e no vex. My hand dey touch e arm small small.

"No wahala. I like do housework for you."

As e dey talk, the rumbling for e throat come loud pass before—urgent. I swallow spit, remember wetin manual talk:

"When incubus dey hungry, you fit allow am hug you. Your body heat and scent fit help calm am down."

I dey try remember if I suppose pray first, but I just clear throat, dey hope for the best.

So I talk:

"Dafe, if you dey feel somehow, you fit hold me."

I talk am gentle, voice low. I dey hope say na only hug e go collect o.

"Okay."

E eye just bright, e hug me. At first, e just hold me normal. But as e see say I just dey blush, no dey push am, e come bold. One hand for my back, one for my waist. E tail wrap my leg. E just bury face for my neck, dey sniff everywhere, e breath dey make my brain dey turn. Chai. This incubus abs na correct. Money no waste. Dafe just dey nuzzle me, then e talk, voice low:

E dey make small sound for my ear, I just dey melt. The way e dey press me, I know say if dem see us now, dem go talk say I don marry spirit.

"Morayo, I still dey feel somehow."

Me wey still dey look abs, just ask:

My voice dey shake, but I dey form as if I no dey fear. My hand just dey draw small circle for e back.

"So wetin you wan do again?"

E look up.

E eye deep like night for Benin. I dey try look away, but e still dey pull me back.

"I fit kiss you?"

"..."

6

I reason am, "Abeg, make we no do that one yet."

My chest dey drum kpom-kpom, like Yoruba drummer for owambe. I dey shy. For my mind, I dey think if I kiss spirit, wetin go happen? Dafe just drop eye, disappointed.

E face just fall. I dey feel bad, but I dey hold my ground. My spirit no ready.

"No wahala, I go manage. Just to hold you dey okay. Make you sleep, no worry, I go still make breakfast tomorrow."

E voice get small pain, but e still dey gentle. I touch e arm small, dey hope e go forgive me.

"..."

E get as I dey smell small tea for the air. But as I don dey fall for am, I just worry:

The way e dey breathe for my neck, e dey sweet and dey worry me. I dey reason say if I no gree now, I fit regret. But I dey shy. Spirit wahala no be small.

"No vex, I no mean anything. Na just say kiss dey too fast. And abeg, no suffer yourself—since I carry you come, I go take responsibility."

I dey try use soft voice. My mind dey run, but I dey try talk true. For Lagos, if you start, you gats finish.

"True?"

E voice soft, e dey search my face like say e wan see my soul.

"True. If you wan kiss, kiss. But only once."

I just purse my lips, shy.

My chest dey drum kpom-kpom, like Yoruba drummer for owambe. I dey close eye, dey wait for wetin go happen.

"Thank you, madam."

Dafe lift face from my neck. I think say e go rush kiss me, but e first kiss my chin. Then e lick me like small puppy—slow, like say e dey please me. I just dey think: E make sense. Incubi dey clingy. But the wet for my chin make me wipe am. My finger just jam Dafe lips. E start dey kiss my finger—dey look me straight eye. Chai. E resemble puppy pass. I no fit take am, so I use my other hand pull e tail, talk:

As I hold the tail, Dafe eyes just dey shine. My body dey hot. I even dey smile small. For this Lagos, na only me dey enjoy this kind spirit wahala—tomorrow fit bring new gist.

"Dafe, abeg kiss fast, no dey play. I go allow you kiss small, no be enough?"

I dey reason say if I allow am pass this one, my body no go fit recover. I dey laugh for mind, dey thank God say I try this spirit thing at all.

Outside, I fit hear distant suya man dey shout, but inside, na only my chest dey drum kpom-kpom, like Yoruba drummer for owambe.