Chapter 2: Small Enjoyment, Big Wahala

My supervisor travel go Abuja for conference, e no go dey school this week.

Before e comot, e dash me brown envelope—fifty thousand naira—make I help am look after him precious udara sapling.

Na envelope dey heavy like person wey dey carry village juju. As I collect am, I dey wonder wetin make udara tree important reach like this.

I just dey water am well for only two days.

I even dey snap picture, dey send am update like say na pikin I dey take care of. My supervisor sef dey reply with "Well done" every evening.

Na then I discover say, if your mind strong, your supervisor travel na your own holiday.

For Naija, if oga travel, na to use style relax, small enjoyment. I just dey thank God say wahala don reduce for now.

Experiments? Tomorrow go reach.

Who dey rush? As long as I fit reason my life small, make tomorrow carry the load.

Laptop? On am tomorrow.

Battery even dey low, abeg, make I no stress.

Thesis? Abeg, just leave am, leave am, leave am.

If I talk true, this thesis don tire me. Even my village people no go worry me reach this thesis.

Report? Abeg, no write am, no write am, no write am.

Abeg, I fit do am overnight—na Naija style.

I buy bus ticket, wear my sunglasses, gbam—na to japa!

I sharply japa like person wey win visa lottery. Even my friend Sade dey hail me for WhatsApp: "Ngozi, you dey enjoy o!"

Udara wetin, tree wetin, supervisor wetin—all don comot from my head.

I dance small as I dey enter bus, feel small breeze for my face, carry am like freedom.

When I finally remember say na me suppose dey water udara tree every day, one week don pass be that.

Na so Naija life dey—enjoyment dey finish, wahala go remind you say you no fit dodge responsibility.

I rush come lab after my waka.

My leg dey shake, heart dey pound, I just dey pray make everything still dey okay.

Na so I see say the once fresh udara sapling don wither, all the leaves scatter for ground.

Na heartbreak be this one. The thing just weak me. I bend down, touch am, e cold like mortuary.

E just dey look half-dead, but truth be say e don kpai since.

If breeze blow small, e fit fall finally. My chest dey tight, like pepper soup wey too hot—tears just dey rush come.

Wetin I go do now?

This kain question dey hard person pass secondary school math.

Na only this one thing my supervisor talk tire make I take care of.

If dem dey share wahala for student, why my own always big?

This kain stingy old man, e still send me fifty thousand—e show say the udara tree mean die for am.

I remember how supervisor dey always talk of when e dey small, how e mama dey pluck udara fruit for am. E mean say this tree get family story.

I scratch my head, dey regret, dey waka round dey worry.

I nearly knock my head for wall. Regret dey bite me like mosquito for night. I dey talk for inside: 'Ngozi, why you no just water am small?'

I no even fit imagine: when my supervisor come back see am, na die e go die first or na me e go finish with shout?

As e be like this, wahala dey two sides—either tree don kill am or na me e go finish for lab front.

I no even wan think am. I swear, I no fit.

I even dey reason say if I run go village, e go still find me.

I force myself calm down, check calendar.

I dey check phone as if date go change by itself. Hope say time fit slow down for my sake.

Three days remain—three days before either e go vex die or e go shout kill me.

Three days na like three seconds for Naija palava. My head dey hot.

If I buy new one for Jumia and swap am, maybe e go believe say the tree don resurrect. E still fit reach.

I dey reason the plan like person wey dey plot for Nollywood film. Abi e go work? At least, I fit try.

Once I get this plan, my mind cool small.

Hope small dey. I go survive—if not by grace, then by sharpness.

But that night, as I just lie down, wan open Jumia make I start to dey find tree, my supervisor drop message for group chat.

As I hear the phone ping, my heart jump. Supervisor na person wey no dey send message anyhow—if e message, kasala dey.

The old man say, as e miss us for long, e don finish work early, dey come back tomorrow morning. Group meeting dey tomorrow night.

I nearly drop my phone. My mind scatter. Wetin be this one again? Why my own bad luck dey shine like torchlight?

My world just scatter.

As I dey roll for bed, my body dey sweat. I dey reason say if to say na dream, I for wake now.

Tomorrow?!

Na so wahala land. Tomorrow fit even reach in the next two hours. Na so Naija supervisor dey operate.

How I go find fresh, strong udara tree before tomorrow?

Even if I turn magician, I no sure say I fit get am. This one don pass me.

And now group meeting don land, my experiment report, I never even write one line!

Wahala just dey stack for my head like jollof rice and fried plantain for wedding.

As e be, wahala just full ground. Na so fate dey do us researchers for this country.

I dey reason say if to say I dey do music, I for blow, carry award. But see as research dey disgrace person.

Supervisor even tag me for group: "Ngozi, my udara tree fruit suppose don ripe by now, abi? Your report too don finish, abi? [grin][grin]"

The man even add emoji. Na so e dey use style mock person. My hand just dey cold.

Me: "……"

Inside me, I dey talk: 'Oga, abeg, pity me. Make you no use joke finish my life.'

Abeg, make you lower your voice. Na achievement be this one?

I just pray make I survive this wahala. Na only God fit deliver me now.