Chapter 1: Rain, Money, and Old Wounds

I dated Ifeanyi Muzuru for three years.

Those years, if you see the way I dey shine for campus, ehn, you go think say my future don sure. Every party, people dey hail me—'Ngozi, you too set, see your babe!' Even my mama for house go dey boast for neighbours. Sometimes, I go dey imagine our wedding for St. Dominic, with all the big boys for Lagos dey form best man.

Later, when he wan do engagement, e give me fifty million naira and tell me to waka.

You know say for this Nigeria, once man don ready for engagement, na community matter. When Ifeanyi drop that kind money, people for my family dey whisper say 'Ngozi, use your sense, this one na open door.' My aunty even call me: 'My pikin, don't let pride chop your destiny!'

That time, pride and self-respect dey worry me.

That one wey dey inside body, as e dey do young girl. I still dey remember my papa words: 'If dem no give you chair, no siddon for ground.' E dey push me. Sometimes, I go look mirror, tell myself say, 'Ngozi, your worth pass any money.'

I no collect am.

As I walk out, na so rain begin fall that evening for Surulere. The rain soak my Ankara blouse, cold reach my bone, but I still waka with my head up. I no even get umbrella. My slippers cut as I waka reach bus stop—my slippers cut, wahala! I just hiss, bend down, and waka barefoot like say I no even send. But I still hold head high. That stubborn spirit just dey inside me.

Two years later, life show me pepper, and as e happen, one big man begin chase me.

For this Lagos, once life humble you, all those your 'I can't' go turn to 'abeg, how far?' My room dey leak, fuel no dey, and I dey chop bread and ewa for almost one week. When this big man begin chase me, na there my mind soft small.

I gree.

My friends dey tease me—'Ngozi, you don finally get sense.' The day we start, he carry me go shopping.

Me sef no pity, I pick things reach over one million naira. When e reach time to pay, na so card bounce.

No be small thing. Sales girl dey look me like say I thief. Even the security dey whisper for corner. My body cold, but I still bone face. Sales girl even yarn, 'Aunty, hope say you get another card o?'

The guy shame catch am well, he quick mention say him get cousin wey get power for Palm Grove Estate.

“My cousin dey around, make I call am come.”

The way e talk am, you go think say na governor e wan call. I just nod.

Next thing, as I see the man wey show, my body freeze.

My heart do gbege, I nearly shout. For this Lagos? E shock me. I no fit believe my eyes. Lagos small, but e no suppose small reach like this. Na so my whole past just land for my front. Na Ifeanyi Muzuru, the one I waka comot from two years ago. My chest tight, I no even know if I fit breathe well. Old feelings dey drag me back, but for this Lagos, person gats survive first.