Chapter 2: Lose the Kingdom—Na So?

When I wake up, me wey be ordinary university student for modern world, I don turn king for ancient time.

I remember how my last memory be say I dey struggle assignment for hostel, dey complain say ASUU strike go kill person. Next thing, na palace ceiling I dey see. Me wey never even enter NYSC, now I be king.

And to crown am, dem bind me with one "lose the kingdom" system.

No be small thing. The system even dey talk for my head like all those witch for village. I fit feel am for my ear like cold breeze. E dey use voice like those people wey dey announce for BRT park.

Only one mission dey:

Make I unlock the achievement of losing the kingdom, as long as I no die.

I no too fear at first. I reason say this one na soft work. If na Naija, who no sabi how country dey spoil? I even fit write project on am!

I think am, this one na small thing now.

No be just to dey do anyhow as foolish ruler?

For my mind, I dey see am as reality show. Just act anyhow, chop life, scatter palace, and wait for everything to fall apart. Na so.

As person wey go university for this our time, if I sabi anything pass, na how to slack — e dey my blood.

I remember how me and my guys dey skip class, dey play game for hostel. If dem dey find king of slack, na my name dem suppose write for history book. Palace no go hard me at all.

As long as I ignore government work, dey promote bad belle people, allow corruption dey waka anyhow,

dey waste money anyhow, forget my work, and make the people suffer,

no be small time before kingdom go scatter?

Even for school, we dey always talk say once you neglect your duty, na so everything go scatter. Na basic logic!

I roll up my sleeves, my mind full ground.

As I wear the royal agbada, I even dey look mirror dey practice foolish king face. My mind dey set. E go shock dem!

I gree say I go be the best king wey ever lose him kingdom!

I dey reason say, by the time I finish, dem go write story of how I use style scatter ancient kingdom. Na legend I go be!