Chapter 6: Wahala No Dey Finish

For a while, I dey beat my chest, dey regret.

I enter my private chamber, dey pace up and down. I no know if I go drink palmwine or just sleep. My mind dey race. I dey think, which kind wahala I don enter so?

Na him I wan use scatter the kingdom!

For my mind, I dey curse my village people. See as plan take turn. I dey look for person to use finish kingdom, but na the real problem I comot first. My village ancestors go dey laugh me for spiritual realm.

How I go demote and send am away like that?

If to say I get sense, I for reason well. I for use another chief wey no get story. Now, I don help the people by mistake.

This Chief Uche sef.

I hiss, dey tap finger for table. If na true say you be bad person, you suppose dey kneel for sun before? Abi na another wahala?

Why you no talk true from beginning?

If you dey run package, at least use style beg me for inside room. See as you use drama do me for palace front.

If na to rig exam you wan do, you think say I no go gree?

I for even join you run am—if e go help me scatter kingdom. But you use style, na me dem go say dey reform kingdom now. System don play me.

But e don too late.

As Yoruba people go talk, "E don pass be careful."

I don give the order already.

Everybody for palace don hear. If I change mouth now, dem go say king dey play game.

If I change am now, my face no go show.

I go lose respect. Even system fit minus my achievement.

I say make I wait small,

I tell myself say make I find better excuse bring Chief Uche back. Maybe I go say I need am for festival, or say I want him advice.

find excuse bring Chief Uche back later.

I begin dey think of plan. But before I reason finish, wahala burst.

But na lie, before I know, news reach me after half month.

Na palace runner rush come, face full of dust and fear.

Armed robbers kill Chief Uche as him dey go him new post.

As I hear am, my chest seize. Robbers for our kingdom dey heartless o. Old man wey dey do transfer, dem still attack am. Na so news dey travel for ancient Naija.

Big traitor just vanish like that?

All the elders for council do one minute silence. Palace women dey cry. For my mind, I dey count—na minus one wahala for me.

Na wah o.

I shake head. The thing pain me, but I no fit show am. King suppose dey strong face.

Anger catch me, I order make dem deal with the robbers well.

My voice loud: "No mercy for criminals. Make my warriors search bush, catch them, and do as law talk."

[Host unlock achievement: 'Eliminate Robbers'.]

[People for area dey praise you, reputation +5.]

System still dey ring. My reputation dey rise instead of fall. I just dey speechless.

Me: ...

I look ceiling, shake head. This world no balance at all. Na which kain wahala I enter so?

Chai, I don mess up.

For my mind, I dey swear say I no go ever do good again. If to say na Lagos, I for don lock myself for room.

I no go do good again.

I just carry mat, lie down, dey count ceiling board. If I no plan well, na sainthood I go collect for history book.

As I dey wipe my tears, I begin find another bad belle for council.

I bring out list of palace officials, dey scan with system eye. Anybody wey get small stain, I dey shortlist. My mind dey ready for round two.