Chapter 1: Marked for Okoye

The day dem point me for Okoye family, I dey play suwe for sand, no know say my whole life don dey plan.

As small pikin, I dey jump line with other girls for our dusty compound. Aunties and uncles for neighbourhood dey gossip, "Na that one dem don keep for Okoye pikin." I no sabi wetin e mean, but Mama always hush me anytime gist reach that side. Even for market, when Mama dey price pepper, women go wink her, "Make you dey prepare o, Okoye people no dey play with tradition." Those words just dey follow me everywhere.

At twenty, marriage swallow my dream. I marry Okoye Sulaiman, wey get autism.

My wedding no be fairy tale. Dem do small engagement for Okoye compound—elders dey knock calabash, dey toast us with words like, "Marriage na river, e get crocodile inside." Palmwine sweet but heavy for my chest. Dem give me deep blue wrapper, gold earrings. Sulaiman just dey one corner, headphones for ear, e no even raise head greet my people. I dey pray say everything go better with time.

Five years pass, and Sulaiman still dey cold to me.

Five whole years, I dey mark calendar, each anniversary pass like shadow. Sulaiman no dey show for any celebration. If I buy akara, he push am aside, face him laptop. My in-laws dey look me like say I be market goods dem dey price for value.

He no let me touch am, talk less of share room.

Midnight cold dey catch me, I go tiptoe reach Sulaiman door, knock, beg say I no fit sleep alone. He go answer from inside, "Abeg, go your room." Even if fever dey worry am, I try touch him, he dodge my hand. My own husband dey act like stranger.

Then, he meet another girl.

That period, Sulaiman begin wear new shirt, dey comb hair well. I notice e dey smile more, dey blast music for parlour. I dey see strange number for him phone, laughter full him face as he dey chat. I just dey observe, dey wait.

For her front, Sulaiman dey gentle, dey do everything to please am.

One day for garden, I see Sulaiman dey laugh with one fine girl. Her voice soft, dimple deep. Sulaiman dey explain music to her, body calm. I shock—never see him behave like that before. Even Chika, our house girl, notice: "Madam, Oga dey happy today o."

He begin write song for her, buy gift.

I see new songbook for Sulaiman table, title na the girl name. Peep enter studio, see pink gift bag, perfume inside, card. My chest tight. That day I realize say love dey Sulaiman heart—but no be for me.

The study wey he never allow me enter, he open am for her.

Halima dey waka enter Sulaiman study like na her papa house. I see them, heads bent together, dey listen to the same music from one earpiece. Sulaiman never gree me enter that room. E pain me well well.

That time, I know say Sulaiman don get person wey he like. Me, I no wan dey take care of am again.

As I sit for kitchen dey peel yam, I dey reason my life. I tell myself, "So na me dem keep for this house make I dey suffer, while another dey enjoy." My spirit no fit carry am again. My body weak, but my mind don strong.

So, I waka go meet Baba Okoye.

I clean sweat, tie wrapper well, waka go main house. People for compound dey look me, dey whisper. I just focus, make nobody discourage me.

I tell am say I wan divorce.

For Baba Okoye parlour, he dey read newspaper. I greet am, kneel small, voice dey shake. "Baba, I wan comot from this marriage. E don do."