Chapter 5: The Rain Will Decide

Once the thought of divorce enter my head, e just dey grow like weed. No sleep for night, only that word dey roll for my mind. I dey look mirror, dey see stranger.

One week later, I meet Baba Okoye. I tie scarf, wear old slippers, waka to Baba house. I prepare myself, voice steady.

I tell am say I wan divorce. I no greet plenty. I just kneel, talk straight: "Baba, abeg, I wan comot from this marriage."

Baba Okoye sit down, dey knock table with finger. He look me, face serious. My heart dey pound.

"Why?" Voice low, but e carry weight. I gather courage, talk everything.

I tell am say Sulaiman get who he like. "Baba, Sulaiman don find love for another person. E dey happy with Halima. He dey write song, buy her things, dey smile for her."

Since Halima come, Sulaiman dey happy pass before. "Since that girl enter, Sulaiman dey shine. E never treat me like that. Maybe na she fit am, maybe e go happy for once."

After he hear, Baba Okoye quiet. Parlour quiet, only clock dey tick. Baba no talk, just dey look me.

After long time, he clear throat, talk serious. "Amina, you know why I choose you as my granddaughter-in-law that time?"

"Because I give Sulaiman plaster?" I ask. I try joke, voice shake. Baba shake head. "No."

He look me deep, eyes sharp. My eyes dey fall ground. "I check you well, I know say you get good heart, and I know say your place for Eze family no strong – dem no like you."

He clear throat. "You dey suffer for Eze house. I know say you need protection. You need this engagement. With am, for Okoye family sake, your life go better."

He talk am like contract. I nod, even though pain dey my chest.

"And because of that, you go treat Sulaiman like saviour, you go thank am, you go tolerate am, even spoil am. I believe say you go value Sulaiman, even if him own no dey easy."

"When I hear say you choose psychology for university, I know say I no make mistake – na so you be. Person wey read mind fit handle person like Sulaiman."

He sigh. "Pikin from family like Sulaiman own, if e no get wahala, girls for queue. But e get sickness. If no be this autism, girls for queue. But as e be, we need wife wey fit stay."

"I get only one grandson, so I gats plan well, find wife wey go loyal, wey go take care of am for life. No be every girl fit manage this kind matter."

"That Halima you dey talk, I no know her. I no fit trust Sulaiman with her. Who be Halima? I no know where she from. You, at least I sabi your story."

He talk plain. "Amina, na you I trust. You grow for Eze family, you sabi how rich men dey do. To get one woman outside no be big deal – even ten no go shock anybody. Compared to others, Sulaiman simple, he no dey run after women. That one alone dey good."

"This one wey you dey worry, na small thing. Men dey get side woman, but na legal wife get power. As long as I dey, no woman fit shake your position as legal wife. Wetin else you want? As far as tradition dey, you dey protected."

I understand, but I no want stay for house dey look after autistic man, dey live life I fit see finish. For my heart, I dey scream. I want freedom. I want happiness, not just position.

"Sulaiman don chase me comot," I tell Baba Okoye. "Now my presence just dey vex am. If I stay, e go worse. E dey suffer, I dey suffer."

"These days, his wahala dey too much." I tell am how Sulaiman dey shout, throw things, break my heart every day.

Baba Okoye face come serious, he begin think. Rub head, stand, waka, sit again. Reason deep.

After long, he gree. Sigh, voice tired. "Okay, Amina, I go look into am. I go think about the divorce. Go house first. We go talk again. Sulaiman na your husband, so we go ask him too."

"We go call Sulaiman, hear e side."

I nod, stand, waka comot. Stand, greet am, waka go outside. Leg heavy, eye red.

How Sulaiman go no gree? For my mind, I dey sure say Sulaiman go dance if dem bring divorce paper. He go rush sign.

That day, rain dey fall small small, breeze dey blow. I hold wrapper tight, rain dey beat face. I dey look sky, dey wonder if tomorrow go better.

As I dey leave old house, I see Sulaiman. He stand for corridor, white shirt, umbrella for hand. Rain dey hit ground, e just dey look me. Face pale, hand dey shake. For my mind, I dey remember all the years.

Plenty rain water gather for umbrella tip. Water drip, but Sulaiman no move. E dey lost for thought. I no know how long he don stand, or how much he hear. Na only God know.

As he see me, he just press lips, face white. No smile, no frown. Just blank face, like e dey somewhere else.

"You say you wan divorce me?" Voice low, almost whisper. Heart skip beat. I no fit look him eye.

After I confirm, Sulaiman just quiet, like person wey dey think. Look ground, rub umbrella handle, eye far. Rain fall heavy now.

After small time, he ask, "So after divorce, you go still dey take care of me?"

I shock, then laugh small. "Sulaiman, divorce mean say we no be anything to each other again. I no go fit do wife duty again."

Shake head, voice low. I dey pity am small, but mind made up.

"Okay." Voice low, almost like breeze. Rain soak e shoulder. Water soak shirt, Sulaiman no shake. My body cold, but na another kind of cold dey hold me.

Sulaiman look me well, shake head. "No divorce."

He talk am like say e dey decide something final. E shock me. I no expect say he go refuse.

For mind, I reason, "Na which kind wahala be this again?"

"Why?" I ask. Try look face, but rain dey block eye.

"If we divorce, nobody go dey take care of me." Talk slow, voice low. I see small fear for face.

"But you like Halima now. She fit take care of you."

Remind am, "Halima dey for you, she fit help."

But Sulaiman still shake head. "No."

Shake head, stubborn. "No. She no fit. She too busy, she dey create. She dey work, dey travel, dey follow her dream. She no fit always dey house. Halima no get time, she dey pursue her own thing."

"You no get anything dey do, na you go dey take care of me."

He talk am like fact. Heart cut small. I no fit argue. I just bow head, look rain for ground, cold catch my body.

Rain dey beat everywhere. Tears mix with rain. For mind, I dey wonder if I go ever get peace for this life.

For his eye, Halima get her own dream, she no fit stay house. He dey talk say Halima dey special, her life dey busy. But me, na only to dey serve Okoye family.

But me, as he see am, I just dey ordinary, na only to dey revolve around am I fit do.

As rain wash my tears, I promise myself—this time, I go choose my own tomorrow.