Chapter 2: Who Dem Wan Use?

By 2 a.m., I just wake up sharply because of one notification for class WhatsApp group.

The cold for hostel dey bite, and my bedsheet no dey do the work. That kind sharp awakening—na only for Naija you go understand. Sometimes, e be like say message for night dey always carry bad news. The darkness just heavy, I hear generator hum for distance. I shift for bed, dey rub my eye, try read the group message clear.

Class prefect Musa @ me to come do the 800-meter physical test.

I dey look my phone, dey read the message, no fit believe am—I even read am two times.

Omo, na me be that? I read am, scroll back, read again. My mind dey do backflip. Even the sleep wey I get before don waka. I dey wish say na April Fool, but this one serious. My body dey sweat small, even though fan dey blow for corner.

"The student whose number ends in 0089 must attend the physical test on time. If you miss am, na your wahala."

The kind Naija threat—if you know, you know. "Na your wahala" fit mean anything. From facing panel to writing apology letter for class group. Some people dey fear that phrase pass police. As I see am, I just dey shake head.

I wipe my phone screen, check my matric number again, begin reason am.

Just to be sure say my eye no dey deceive me, I wipe am well, squint to double-check my ID card. E shock me say e match. For Naija, you no fit trust process—sometimes na error, sometimes na design.

Because, true true, 0089 na the last four digits of my student ID.

I sigh, for my mind I dey remember all the times wey dem dey call people for duty. E dey always land for person wey no ready. Na so e be today. I for like just disappear like NEPA light.

But I still remember well: yesterday, na my class committee roommate, Kamsi, dem pick for the 800-meter.

The gist still fresh for hostel. Kamsi dey complain since, dey lament say she no like run. I even laugh her, tell am say na her portion. Now, dem don do exchange overnight. Na wa o. For Naija, person wey dey power fit change plan anyhow.

How e take turn to my own?

I dey try remember if I offend anybody for class committee. Maybe I no greet person well or I dey owe group dues. All this politics for class—if you no play am well, dem go use your head.

I try calm myself, begin scroll back to yesterday chat history.

The WhatsApp group dey always hot. Sometimes, message fit fly so fast, you go miss important announcement. But this one—I remember say I see Kamsi name there. I dey scroll, dey pray say I go find am.

But, as bad luck go get am, every message about the physical test, class committee don delete am.

I just weak. For Naija, na normal level—people go edit or delete message when e no favour them. Transparency na problem. I dey vex, but nothing I fit do for now.

Only the new one remain:

E just dey there, like say nothing happen before. The message dry, e no get any context. For Naija, e dey easy to erase history. If e favour you, e good; if e no, na problem.

"The student whose number ends in 0089 must attend the 800-meter physical test."

Omo, na my wahala dey front and center now. As I read am again, I just dey bite my lower lip. E be like say dem don plan am.

Me wey just comot from hospital, run 800 meters? Lai lai.

I dey imagine as my body go take betray me for track. Even the small walk from hostel to class dey pain me. My stitches never even heal finish. If wahala go happen, e go loud o.

Just two days ago, dem remove my appendix for hospital.

I still dey carry my hospital nylon bag. My people for hostel still dey hail me "survivor". Everybody know say surgery no be beans for Naija hospital—sometimes you go dey pray make generator no off for middle of operation. The scar never even heal well, e still dey pepper me.

Doctor warn me tire, say make I no do any strong thing.

Doctor Akinyele, that elderly man, even look me for eye say, "My pikin, you hear me so? No try yourself. No lifting, no run, nothing." I nod am, promise say I go behave. Who dey alive dey run test?

Forget 800 meters—even 50 meters fit land me for another operation.

Even to run cross road, I dey move like tortoise. My hostel mates dey tease me say I don turn old man overnight. Na God save person.

I no wan make class prefect carry criminal record for young age.

I dey pity Musa self. If I fall yakata, na him go answer principal. For Naija, once person get accident for your watch, dem go summon you, ask plenty question. Everybody dey protect their own.

So I rush message class prefect for private:

I compose message well, use "abeg" reach three times. For Naija, you must humble yourself if you wan beg authority. I even add "God go bless you" for end. My hands dey shake as I dey type.

"Class prefect abeg, I just come out from hospital, I no fit run 800 meters. You fit pick another person?"

I use plenty pleading emoji, make e soft the message. I hope say Musa get conscience, say e go pity me.

Before I fit breathe, Musa rush enter group chat, drop another notice.

The guy no even reply me direct. Na so he rush announce for group—just dey scatter fire everywhere. As if he dey try cover himself before anybody accuse am. For Naija, once person dey guilty, e dey always do pass himself.

He even use one kind flashy WhatsApp status bubble, just to draw attention.

You go see big big text, colourful background, even add siren emoji. Musa sabi use WhatsApp features die. E just wan make sure everybody dey see am, make e be like say e dey do official work.

"The 800-meter test list don already go faculty office. No change, no leave, nothing."

As I read that line, e be like court judgement. For Naija, once list reach office, e dey hard to change am. But true true, e fit just be story. I dey shake head—na so dem dey do.

After that, he still message me for private:

E no even give me room to talk. I dey see the blue tick as e dey drop fresh message. E just dey overdo.

"Anyhow, na you dem pick. If you no show, get ready for absent and discipline."

My chest just dey tight. I dey imagine as dem go mark my name, paste am for notice board. For Naija, discipline matter dey last—sometimes, na the label go follow you pass your result.

I just squeeze my hand, vex wan kill me.

My palm dey sweat. I just dey punch air for hostel. E pain me reach bone. Na so I dey pace for room, dey think wetin to do.

But I still calm, turn to my class committee roommate for hostel:

I carry myself reach Kamsi bunk. I no wan make noise, but my voice still get small edge. I dey try maintain peace, but my eye dey red small.

"Kamsi, no be you dem pick yesterday for the test? Your boyfriend mix up the numbers?"

I talk am like joke, but e get pepper inside. For Naija, you go drop question wey go pinch person, but you go talk am like cruise.