Chapter 1: Besties, Boys, and Break-Ups

My best friend and I both started a CP (couple pairing) with national server top players at the same time.

You know how Naija girls dey now—anything boys fit do, we too dey do am double. As soon as new season land, we plan sharp sharp: make we find the hottest, baddest players to match with. No lie, as we dey set everything up, our teeth just dey shine like say we win lottery.

Halima catch one top-tier Musa, I nab one top-tier Yemi.

As we dey size these guys, you go think say we dey for Balogun market. Halima go yarn, "Abeg, see as that Musa dey dodge skills! Na only pro fit run am." Me, I dey eye Yemi, dey form soft, but for inside my mind, I dey hope the guy sabi play, no be all mouth.

Later, my best friend catch Musa boosting another babe behind her back.

That thing pain am scatter! See Halima—she dey vex, dey type long thread for WhatsApp. Her finger hover for phone screen, chest dey rise and fall, before she finally begin type. Na so she dey carry receipts, screenshots, ready to drag Musa boy for full community group. I dey beside her, sipping my zobo, enjoying free drama. True Naija spirit—suffer together, chop gist together.

She ask me, "I wan break up. How about you?"

The way she ask am ehn, you go think say we dey share break up date. I just look her, face tight like person wey dem seize her meatpie. Her voice crack small, but she still dey form hard girl.

I reply, "No wahala. E just dey good to change hero and practice another one."

I no wan carry last. I drop the line quick, like say e no pain me. Throw small joke, hope say she go smile. Inside, my mind dey do backflip, but my face hard—Lagos sharp babe.

We uninstall sharp sharp, then blast Ayra Starr, dance for parlour, and plan suya run—heartbreak no fit hold us down.

But not long after, the national server Yemi carried the national server Musa come meet us in real life, after all our online shakara.

Omo, as e happen ehn, we shock! We no believe all that online gbasky go turn physical. Seyi just show with Tunde, both of them fresh pass Instagram filter. Me and Halima, mouth open, dey find excuse to escape but nowhere to run.

Seyi just grab Tunde for neck, eye red like person wey rice nearly burn—wahala don set.

Seyi vex! You go see as he grip Tunde, neck small remain e go break. For Seyi mind, na family disgrace dey ground. Even me, I dey fear say fight fit break out.

"Oya, talk say you no get anything with that green tea babe—if not, you and me no be bros again!"

Seyi voice loud, crowd for the street sef dey look. He dey talk like person wey dem collect him last card. "Oya! No dull am! Make you talk true before thunder fire that green tea story." Tunde begin stammer. E be like he no sabi wetin to talk.

"You get mouth, abeg explain yourself!"

Halima just fold hand, dey side eye both of them. If na film, this one for don be season finale. Some area boys sef dey look, dey whisper. Na so Yemi dey push am, e wan hear the whole truth.

"Or else you go lose your babe, and my own wan dump me too—wuwuwu..."

I just dey reason how boys go dey fight like small pikin because of babe. Seyi don almost dey cry—voice don crack, e be like person wey pepper enter eye. Even Halima self, she no fit hold laughter. Gist for street no dey finish!