Chapter 2: Climbing Ranks, Setting Traps

Season dey finish, and my best friend and I still never even smell King rank—we dey stuck for Diamond IV.

Omo, we dey grind that game taya! Every night, na so our hands dey pain, but King rank just dey run from us. For group chat, dem dey yarn say, "If you never reach King, na rookie you be." E pain us, but we no let am show.

So, we just decide say make we pick random national server top players from leaderboard to help us duo-queue climb, no emotions attached.

We sit down for Halima house, dey scroll leaderboard like say we dey choose JAMB center. Me I dey fear say I go jam one yeye boy wey go dey run mouth. Halima just dey tap her phone, dey rush me. "Choose one na! E no be like we dey write exam." I just dey drag my leg.

She pick national server Musa, see as I dey hesitate for like half an hour. She just hiss, then pick national server Yemi for me.

Halima nor even send me—she just click Yemi for me sharp sharp. "Oya, you dey do like old mama. Abeg! If I no choose for you now, we go sleep here."

"Better make we find two from the same team, share luck, enjoy drama together."

Halima talk as if na spiritual logic she dey use. "Two birds one stone, abeg. Na so good luck dey flow."

We quickly update our profiles.

Halima dey serious, she type her profile like job application. Me, I dey laugh but my hand dey shake. We post leg pics—left leg for her, right leg for me. People for comment section dey tease us, say, "Na leg we go take jam our destiny partner now?"

Ding You Ding Doesn't Understand: [Very shy, no dey use voice chat, mute, cpdd Musa bro?]

Attached: photo of her left leg.

Xie You Xie Can't: [Circle dey clean, only dey play with besties except CP, cpdd Yemi bro?]

Attached: photo of my right leg.

Halima na certified baddie—she arrange leg, wear fine anklet before snap. My own leg dey inside faded slippers, but abeg, na the connection we dey find.

After we finish, we both dey feel somehow shy.

Inside us, we dey form hard girl, but we dey laugh like small pikin. If you see as we dey twist face, you go know say we dey shy die!

"You send for me, I go send for you."

We dey hype each other, dey do like secondary school crush. Na only bestie fit understand this kind wahala.

"No wahala."

I talk am like say e easy, but for inside, my heart dey beat. If anybody see us that day, dem go think say we dey run matchmaking business.

Not even two minutes after sending, both of us get reply at the same time—[OK.]

Both of us just scream for room! Na so the thing quick, we nor even expect am. Luck shine for our side that day. Halima begin dance, me sef dey roll for bed.

At first, e sweet die. Sometimes I play Yemi, dey waka up and down the map dey kill people; sometimes my best friend play Yemi, dey ride Musa like roller coaster.

Anytime we win, we dey shout for mic, dey pepper all the enemies. Halima go say, "Na my Musa dey carry game!" I go snap kill stats send am. No be small flex!

We just dey win dey go, reach King rank sharp sharp.

We run am steady—before one week, King badge don enter. Even for WhatsApp status, we dey post am. Na so our head dey swell, friends dey hail us like say we win election.

But as season wan end, our two top players come dey act serious.

E come be like say dem dey run private meeting. Dem no dey drop jokes for mic again. All those small small teasing don reduce. Me and Halima dey wonder if dem dey vex for us.

We still dey win, but e no too sweet like before.

Halima sef don dey notice. She come dey complain say the fun don dry. I dey try ginger am, but the whole vibe don change.

After one match, my bestie Halima call me, vexing. I fit even see her dey para through phone.

If to say phone fit carry her body language, her own for fit burst out of screen. She dey roll eye, dey twist mouth. "This Musa na wah!" She shout.

"I wan unbind—now now."

Her voice heavy. I know say this time, she mean am.

I ask small small, "Wetin happen?"

I try calm her, but I dey ready for gist. Na Halima gist dey sweet pass soup sometimes.

She vex, "Ah ah, which kind teammate be this? As Yemi, e go rush enter crowd, leave me run, come dey make dem beat me anyhow?"

She no even wait make I reply, just dey download the wahala. "See as dem dey wipe me anyhow! You know say my phone dey old, I no fit dey flash like dem. E just dey abandon me!"

"Twenty times o! This week alone, e leave me for there twenty times. Too many flashes and ultimates, I no even know who dey hit me."

She dey count am like market woman dey count change. I just dey reason say, maybe na network dey worry dem.

"I wan break up. Yemi Yemi, you dey break up or you dey stay?"

She dey wait my answer like say na exam. If I stay, wahala fit burst.

My mouth quick pass my brain: "Anything you talk, me I dey okay."

I nor even reason, just gree. Loyalty before love! My bestie before anybody. Na so we dey do for Naija—no leave your person.

But as I talk am, my mind come dey shake.

Inside my chest, I dey feel small heartbreak. My own Yemi no too get wahala. I dey ask myself if I dey make mistake.

Truth be say, the national server Yemi dey treat me well...

I nor go lie—na Seyi dey always carry my matter for head. If dem gank me, na he go run come rescue. E get one time, enemy almost catch me, Seyi just flash save me like superhero. Small small, I begin dey catch feelings.

Except say him dey always dey fumble with mouth.

Seyi mouth sharp—sometimes e dey run like tap wey dey leak. If he yarn for public, e fit confuse enemy join.

First time we play ranked together, he boldly talk for public chat:

[I'm the other side's master.]

[No... the foot-point master of the other side...]

[*** teach the other side to be human]

Me sef go dey cover face, dey pretend say I no know am. E go just dey yarn anyhow, all those funny typo.

Apart from that, the guy no get any bad character.

He dey humble, dey quick apologize if he mess up. If I dey sad, he go send voice note make I laugh.

He even dey buy me recharge cards steady, abeg! I nearly complete all the limited edition skins!

Omo, e get one time, I just dey check gift box, see as Seyi fill am with skins. I dey fear say maybe na my birthday, but abeg, the guy just dey spoil me.

E turn the game wey suppose be competition to awoof for me.

My friends dey tease me, say I don turn the whole game to beauty pageant—na only fine skin I dey pursue now.

But...

Who be Halima? Na my main person—my ride-or-die, the one wey get 3GB of my ugliest pictures.

I remember the night wey she help me dodge wahala for hostel, or the time wey she borrow me money buy data. For my life, bestie na number one.

No matter how top the player be, my bestie dey come first.

If I lose Halima, who go laugh with me for midnight? Who go help me cook noodles after heartbreak?

Break up. E must happen.