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My Classmate Set Me Up for WAEC / Chapter 2: Who Go Survive This Game?
My Classmate Set Me Up for WAEC

My Classmate Set Me Up for WAEC

Author: Richard Wilson


Chapter 2: Who Go Survive This Game?

I turn look.

The boy beside me rest chin for hand, dey look me lazy-lazy.

Jide—transfer student wey land for SS2. Cold, always dey on his own, hair long reach him eye, dey always wear one light grey hoodie. E dey bend head, na only him fine, slim neck and sharp jawline dey show.

As girls for class dey talk, dem nor fit hide say dem dey trip for am. E nor dey smile, e nor dey talk, but e get that kind mysterious way wey dey make people dey wonder about am.

From this description alone, you go sabi say e fine.

Even though him book no bad, him attitude just spoil everything—no friend.

For assembly ground, teacher dey always shout, "Jide! You too like to mind your business!" But e just dey waka like breeze, no dey answer anybody.

Na true say na him dey run this questionnaire like bullet comments talk? Na him be the big oga for this horror game?

I dey reason say e fit get coded connection. Maybe na im dey send all these questions from spirit world, or maybe na wahala just jam us for here.

Bullet comments talk say for the original, e just jam me by mistake and help me choose ‘Agree.’

But as I sabi the story now, I reason well and still tick ‘Agree’ for the questionnaire—make e no be say I go fall for wahala.

As I choose am, questionnaire vanish, na strange, wicked questions replace am.

The speed wey the screen disappear shock me. For my area, if juju dey work, na like this e dey go—sharply, no trace.

Na real questionnaire game be this o.

And those people wey say dem go refuse—

As dem click, dem just turn to bloody smoke, disappear like say nothing happen. Only sharp iron smell of blood remain.

If to say this one happen for village, elders for don gather, begin pour palm oil and salt everywhere. I feel one cold breeze blow for my neck.

Everywhere scatter for class.

Somebody shout “Blood of Jesus!” as Kunle vanish, but even the shout hang for air, no echo. "Wetin be this? Kunle just dey here now, e don vanish!"

The way people dey scream, e be like say na masquerade enter class. Girls grab each other, boys dey jump for back like say dem fit dodge the wahala.

"Halima self don disappear! E no even reach one second!"

People just dey wail—Halima wey dey always lead praise and worship for fellowship, gone just like that?

"See! New words dey show for questionnaire!"

Some people dey shiver, others dey use prayer dey bind.

[Congrats, you don join the pre-WAEC questionnaire.]

[Abeg, read the questions well and answer. Every day you answer, you go earn exam marks.]

[The points dey real—no fake.]

[Questionnaire go show every day by 9 a.m. for classroom, just one round, e go disappear after 7 days.]

[Max score na 750. If you fit reach 750 early, you go clear questionnaire.]

[Before the questionnaire finish, 50 marks go dey commot from everybody every day as service charge. Abeg, make sure the score wey dey your head no reach zero.]

[If not, you go disappear like those people wey just vanish.]

As the words commot, everybody just dey shiver, dey look the number wey dey float for top everybody head.

If na Nollywood, by now, mama for don burst inside with anointing oil. But this one na real—numbers dey float for head, wahala dey for front.

Dem see say everybody get one number—250—dey float for their head.

The numbers just dey float for air—red, stubborn, like NEPA meter wey dey run fast.

One classmate wey no dey ever serious just shout, "Ah ah, everybody get 250 for head? Dem dey call us olodo?" [Note: ‘250’ na slang for ‘mumu’ for Nigeria.]

People wey fit laugh, laugh; the rest dey shiver.

Everywhere just quiet.

Like five, six minutes pass, class prefect stand up, begin talk serious:

The guy clear throat like town crier, chest out, voice loud: "Make una hear word, e get as this thing be o."

"This 250 na the starting score for this game. Everybody start with 250 points, then every day, 50 go commot as service charge. The questionnaire go last seven days—7×50, that one na 350 points total."

"If your score reach zero, na the same way you go disappear like those ones wey just die. I suggest make we no try any rubbish."

Na so the tension reduce small—when person reason numbers, e dey help mind cool down. But still, fear dey everywhere.

"So, all of us must find at least 100 points to survive reach last day. But to clear the game, you need at least 850 points."

Some people dey scratch head—math nor be everybody strong point.

"We no even sabi the kind questions wey go come. If na university-level or wahala, we fit dey finished."

The class prefect na correct boy—always dey try help. But this one pass am too.

As class prefect talk finish, one person object.

"Abeg, no dey fear yourself. If na our class the system dey, e mean say na reward. Reward no dey hard like that."

Na who dey talk? The rich boy—always dey carry shoulder, even when dem dey flog everybody, e go still dey shine.

"My papa get money, so all this reward no concern me. Even if I fail, my people go send me abroad. I no be like una."

The way the boy dey talk, e just dey show teeth, cross leg, as if all this na film for im side.

Na one rich pikin dey talk—always dey form, always with him clique. Now, e just dey shine teeth, no even fear.

"Na just questionnaire. Wetin una dey fear? If una no do, I go do."

I look am, bullet comments show.

Bullet comment flash again:

[See our first scapegoat. This rich boy no go last one day. See as e dey find trouble. Wait till question land—e go shock.]

[True, every class need one mumu wey go stand out.]

[The wahala be say who for think say questionnaire go wicked like this? First day, dem go make everybody vote for who dem hate pass.]

For inside my mind, I dey pray make the thing nor land my side. But as Naija people dey talk, who nor hear go feel.

So first question na to vote who you dislike pass?

No be to expose secret and scandal we dey expect?

E get as e be. For inside me, I dey reason—na the wahala wey dem talk since be this?

No wonder dem pick am. No suspense at all.

This rich boy always dey use him power, dey bully classmates, dey force better students make dem allow am copy work, dey use him money shame poor people.

E dey always yarn say, "My driver go pick me later, una fit trek." The thing dey pain some people, but dem nor dey talk.

As if to confirm wetin bullet comments talk, questionnaire refresh immediately.

First day question appear:

"Abeg, pick the classmate wey you dislike pass. Response time: 60 minutes. This question: +20 points."

Below the question, names of the 32 students wey remain.

Bullet comments correct.

But wetin I go do? If I no answer, I no go get points. If my points no reach for service charge, I go disappear. But if I answer, na me dey inside this wicked game.

I glance my cool deskmate, then look my childhood padi Seyi, wey dey eye me from some seats away.

We grow up together, childhood sweethearts. I don dey crush on am since. Just last month, we promise to apply for same university—almost reach confession.

I remember how we dey gist for compound, dey share gala and La Casera. For my heart, Seyi dey special, but wahala nor dey too far for him body.

But bullet comments talk say e go still betray me for one broke student, even carry fake gist about me.

I hold my vex.

Seyi, no sabi anything, waka come my desk, knock am.

"Just choose with me later. For this first round, make we no answer. Make we wait see if anybody disappear after others answer."

I always dey follow Seyi. Him tone no be suggestion—na command.

E think say e sharp.

Same time, e dey pet him deskmate Bisola, the broke girl wey bullet comments mention. E dey talk to her soft-soft.

Bisola dey always quiet, but Seyi dey always dey find way make she smile. I dey watch dem with side eye.

I look am, just smile fake.

Bullet comments refresh as expected:

[This guy dey use supporting babe test rules—he just wan use am as scapegoat. Nonsense.]

[Exactly. First person to answer go collect ‘bad luck’ title. Anybody wey class vote for, na dem go target. If supporting babe get am, she don finish.]

[Now I see how e take win for original—always dey use women around am climb. Supporting babe like am for years, but e dump am sharp-sharp.]

I look the comments about Seyi, shock. ‘Bad luck’ title na straight death?

For my mind, I dey reason—abeg, this kind juju get as e be. Person nor fit play love for spiritual battle.

So I talk deliberately, "But wetin if first person to answer dey get reward? Na risk dey bring big win."

I talk am with small smile, make e no look like wahala, but Seyi pick am quick.

Seyi look me, surprise. "You wey dey always play safe, see as you dey reason today."

But e nod. "You get point."

E quickly open him own screen.

After small delay, I form say I wan click first. E go fear say I fit collect that bad luck title, so e rush answer before me.

E click before me. I no sabi who e pick—everybody screen dey private. Nobody fit see another person answer.

This questionnaire system wicked no be small.

Soon, one lazy electronic voice enter everybody ear:

"Congrats, SS3B, Seyi be first to answer questionnaire."

The announcement loud for everybody ear, like school bell for break time.

"New title unlock: ‘Fearless Reckless One.’ Anybody wey get this title go dey pay 30% extra service charge every day as reward for being first. This title fit get other wahala—discover by yourself."

At first, nobody talk—everybody shock. When dem reason am, everybody rush Seyi, dey laugh am.

Seyi face just change, e glare me.

Me, I no send. I sharply pick Seyi name.

Then bullet comments show:

Bullet comment flash again:

[Actually, first day get bug wey nobody sabi. You fit pick more than one person for this question, and every name go give you points.]

[Plus, system no talk say if dem vote you, you go die.]

My eye shine. I quickly tick everybody name—including myself.

For my mind, I dey thank God say I sabi small IT. All those hacking tricks for computer class, e dey pay now.

Bullet comments:

[...Na wa, I just wan talk say make person pick three people.]

[This one no be that mumu saintly supporting babe? She sharp o—just no expect say she go pick everybody, even herself.]

[Lol, why I no reason am.]

That time, Jide wey never talk since just look me. Him eye open small.

For a boy wey dey act like nothing dey move am, to look me like that, e mean say I don cross boundary. I nor sure if I go collect later.

Wahala, I don overdo? Oga boss don notice say I dey find loophole?

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