Chapter 1: After Amaka Born

Since the day I see Amaka give birth, anytime I look her face, e just dey do me somehow—like spirit dey push me away.

I no go lie, the thing wey my eye see that day still dey shake my spirit. Everytime my mind flash back to that labour room, na so different feelings dey jam for my body. For night, as I dey try close eye, her face go just appear—the way she dey struggle. E dey do me one kind, I no go fit explain.

Honestly, I no understand—childbirth na childbirth, abeg, but why she go mess up the whole delivery bed like that?

For my mind, I dey reason say all women dey born. My mama born five of us, but I no ever hear say she scatter hospital bed like that. Na wah for this new generation. As I dey look all the wahala, I dey ask myself if na me dey overthink or if na so e suppose be.

The hospital corridor smell like Dettol mix with jollof rice from canteen downstairs—everything just dey jam for my nose. Kai, na real disgrace. That day, my head just turn. I no sabi say labour fit humble person like that. My respect confuse—e just scatter.

As I stand for one corner, na so the odour knock me. Nurses dey waka up and down, dey clean, but the thing no gree disappear. I just dey shake head. The shame nearly swallow me, I no even fit look her eye for some days after. If she talk, I go just mumble answer. I dey dodge her touch, dey fear make she no notice as my body dey do me.

For my mind I dey think, 'Na so my own wife take fall my hand?'

Wetin shock me pass be say, during her omugwo, she even get mind tell me more than once: "Honey, abeg just hold on small. Once my body don recover, we fit run things again. No worry, I go still show you pepper for bedroom soon."

Chai! I just dey look her, dey wonder if she dey see wetin I dey see. Person just born, everywhere scatter, she still dey get mind dey talk about bedroom matter. Sometimes I dey look my mama face when she dey do omugwo for us, dey try gauge if she dey suspect the way I dey act.

I go look her belly—e just dey loose, everything don fall finish. Sometimes e dey make me wan vomit, sometimes I just dey laugh.

Even as she tie wrapper, belle still dey push out for side. I go just dey look her, dey remember the slim babe wey I marry that year—life na movie. Sometimes the thing funny me, but inside my chest, I dey reason say e no funny at all.

If I talk true, e no even reach say I dey bear anything.

Omo, na only God know how some men dey manage am. For my mind, I dey reason say maybe I dey even try sef. At least, I never shout for her head, I never complain give her mama. Na only my mind dey carry all the gbege. But e still dey pain me.

By the time she reach five months for belle, I don already dey see my first love again behind her back.

Abeg, na man I be. I no fit dey suffer this kind thing and just dey look. Sometimes, temptation too much. Wetin my eye see, my heart no fit bear am alone. If you ask most men for beer parlour, dem go tell you say na normal thing. But e get as e be sha. But e get as e be sha. If you hear man story for beer parlour, you go know say temptation no dey far from anybody. My own na just beginning.