Chapter 3: Hibiscus and Heartbreak

Na me blind. Na me choose to marry Tunde Garuba. I tell myself truth. I no go blame anybody. For Naija, person wey choose road, no suppose cry if pothole full am. I use my own hand drag this matter.

That year, news come from the north—Aisha family men all die for battle. Honour full our house, but na only me, one girl, remain. That kain news dey break person finish. Compound full of mourners, dust dey rise everywhere. As dey bury my papa and brothers, only me remain for front, head tie black, body dey tremble.

Oba promise me better life—even say make I choose my husband by myself. Him just want make I dey happy. Oba stand tall, his agbada dey sweep ground, his voice deep. He no want make sadness finish my youth. Even Queen look me with pity, say, "No cry too much, e go better."

For garden wey hibiscus dey everywhere, Queen say make I pick any man wey I like. From far, I point the one wey hold cutlass—Tunde Garuba. Hibiscus scent full the air, petals for ground. I stand beside Queen, my hand dey shake. As dem line the young men, I dey look, dey wonder who fit carry my wahala. Tunde Garuba tall pass others, his stance sure, hand steady for cutlass.

I choose am because he different. I no choose am for face or money. Na the quiet confidence wey dey his movement, the way him eye dey look people direct, no shake.

When my papa and brothers die, I come dey alone, noble ladies dey laugh me say I be bad luck—star wey dey kill family. Nobody to protect me. I dey cry for corner. I remember those nights, when girls dey whisper for corridor, dey point finger, dey run from me as if I be spirit. Sometimes I go hide for kitchen, dey mop eye, dey beg make light no catch me.

Tunde Garuba pass, give me simple handkerchief. Him voice gentle: "Aisha family na loyal people. You no suppose dey suffer this kind insult. You be general daughter—no look yourself finish."

His words soft like palm oil, but e sink deep. That handkerchief, I keep am for chest, every night I dey remember who give am.

Few days later, Oba punish the people wey insult me. Queen, as she pity me, carry me as her sister. That kind kindness, I never see before. Queen begin call me sister, dey share her wrapper, dey bring me near. My heart begin find small peace.

That small good wey Tunde Garuba do, I no forget am. For Naija, gratitude dey last long. My mama always say, "No forget who wipe your tears."

But I no wan force am marry me, so I go meet am for training ground, ask am straight. Sun dey hot that day, sand dey rise. Boys dey train, but I waka straight to where e dey. For our side, woman no dey beg man, but I gather courage.

He dey practice cutlass, tall, blade dey shine like morning dew. Sweat dey run him face, hand strong. The way him dey move, e sure say if wahala burst, na him go first jump front.

I blush, look up, ask, "You go marry me?" My voice small, but e carry weight. The other boys freeze, dey look. He shock small, then put cutlass back, smile small, nod. "No wahala."

That smile small but true. No noise, no show, just peace. After engagement, I too happy. That time I stubborn. Now, I regret am. I dey always dey run mouth, dey overdo. Now, I see say love no be by force. My mama warn me, but I no hear.

I explain everything give Queen, beg her to cancel the marriage. Na me say I wan marry am; na me too say I no want again. For palace, as I kneel down dey beg Queen, she dey touch my shoulder. Her eyes red, but her voice calm. For this kind place, royal people dey settle matter with peace.

Oba get three wives, four concubines—Queen don used to all these things. I think say she go vex or beg me to manage. I dey fear say she go shout say make I endure, but she just look me, eye soft.

"You don think am finish?" Queen ask. She dey look me direct, as if she dey weigh my spirit.

I nod well. No be small nod o—I nod like person wey dey do oath.

She just sigh, hold my hand. "Silly child, your family give their life for the kingdom. You get right to do as you like."

Her voice get that royal power, but soft like song. My heart dey cool.

"If I, as your big sister, no fit protect your happiness, I fail your family."

She hold me well, as if she dey promise my late mama for grave. I lean for her lap, cry. Tears rush my eye. Queen use her wrapper clean my face. For palace, once big madam carry you, nobody fit touch you again.

Queen dey touch my hair, talk soft:

"That man no reach you."

Her voice steady—no be insult, na fact. She dey tell me say my value pass wetin I dey beg for.

"Plenty fine men dey for town. I go pick better one for you. This time, hear word."

She dey joke small, but love dey for her eye. She wink, say, "No go dey choose person wey go stress you."

I shake head. For this world, the rare thing no be big wedding, na two people wey love each other. If I no fit get that one, I no go marry at all.

Na so I stand. If love no dey, I go rather stay single. My mind dey made up. As I come back general mansion, evening dey fall. I look the golden signboard, e dey shine cold for sunset. Sun dey paint the sky orange, everything quiet. For that moment, the house wey once feel like home, dey look strange, almost like stranger land.

After engagement, Tunde Garuba worry say I no get family for Aisha house, so he carry me come general mansion as guest till I reach twenty, then we go marry. He carry me go west wing, near his study. That time, he talk, "From today, treat here as your house."

The way he talk am, e be like swear. I remember the first night wey I sleep for west wing, servants dey bring food, dey call me madam.

"Nobody for general mansion go fit bully you."

He swear am that day, say nobody fit try me. I believe am. But today, na him hurt me pass. As life turn, the person wey carry me run from wahala, now na him dey give me biggest pain.

"Ireti," I call my maid. "Pack all my things and the servants wey follow me come."

Ireti rush come, her face sad. Everybody for house dey move silent, as if person die. Na so heartbreak dey be. But for my heart, I swear, e no go ever turn back to the way e be before.