Chapter 2: Side Character Wahala

“Obiora, I no wan divorce again.”

My voice crack small, like person wey swallow groundnut wrong way. The moment I talk am, the bullet comments just go crazy.

[Na play I dey watch? Did Amaka just say she no want divorce?]

[She say she no wan divorce? Seriously, wetin dey do Amaka? She think say if she just talk am, marriage go continue? Wetin come happen to the incubus boss? Just wait, the male lead go still divorce her.]

[Abeg, who dey stan Amaka? That one na cruise!]

[Abeg, na only me dey pity the male lead? The guy dey enter heat and get sense die. Three years, he never even touch the side character.]

My mouth dry, but I no wan show fear. I looked at Obiora. Somehow, he had crossed his legs, and his ears don change from pink to deep red. You know say man dey shy when e start to adjust him body like say e dey hide something. I wonder if na shame or anger dey make am like that.

In heat?

Obiora dey get heat period? How come I never know this one?

I for talk true, this kain thing dey funny and strange. Obiora na correct Naija man—no dey show weakness anyhow. The noble, distant man just talk three words: “As you wish.”

The way he talk am, e cold reach bone. I for expect shout or beg, but na silence I get. He waka enter bathroom. As water dey run, the bullet comments just explode again.

[The male lead too fine abeg. Why Amaka come marry am?]

[Even if I no be fan, Amaka fine sha. E normal say the male lead go dey attracted to her.]

[Attracted? Abeg, na just small pikin crush. The incubus love Seyi baby pass.]

[Hate ship fans just dey find wahala, no be love (crying sticker).]

[Big Yellow Girl, abeg stop to surf WhatsApp (side-eye sticker).]

[Sorry to cut in, I be newcomer—wetin be hate ship? (crying sticker)]

[Na just the ship name for the male lead and side character, simple.]

[Abeg, which Big Yellow Girl invent that one? I no fit even talk am for mouth (side-eye sticker).]

I shame small. The ship name just dey somehow. Sometimes internet people get wahala for mouth. I rub my arm, like say I dey cold, but na embarrassment dey catch me.

Just as I wan continue to dey read, Obiora come out from bathroom. Towel hang for waist, water still dey drip from him chest. If to say na street, girls for dey peep from window. Wide chest, eight-pack, face like Nollywood actor, body even better. I gawk small, then quickly look away before he catch me.

“Underwear suppose dey change and wash steady. I don throw the old ones away.”

“I go buy new ones for you tomorrow.”

Him voice get small hoarse, and he hold one tied trash bag. The way he dey talk, you go think say na serious matter, but na only boxers.

“I dey go throw away trash.”

I wan confirm the bullet comments, so I reach to collect the bag.

But Obiora strong pass me, I no fit drag am from his hand. See as I dey struggle, my hand dey small for him. My hand touch him knuckle, warm and strong, make my heart skip. For small second, I smell that soap wey dey remind me of old days.

“No, e dirty…”

He panic small, but compose himself quick. For Obiora to dey stammer, I know say e get as e be.

“The trash bag dirty. I go throw am away.”

Bullet comments just dey scatter.

[The male lead dey fear die. If side character find out his small secret, she go hate am more.]

[The guy too awkward. If no be say he dey form, dem for don born two children.]

[I no be hate shipper, but I notice say the male lead only dey enter heat because of the side character, not the female lead. Again, I no be hate shipper.]

[Abeg, who you dey deceive? You dey ship am.]

[Lol, the commenter above dey fear female lead fans die. I go talk am: those people dey mad, always dey hype how the male lead love female lead, dey worship that green tea babe. Female lead fans, your assignment na to prepare for JSS1.]

[Username “mad dog” make una no find me trouble. I don screenshot and send go WhatsApp group. No lock your DMs—be ready for our judgment.]

[Abeg, male lead and side character don do the hate scene?]

[Go house, Big Yellow Girl, abeg.]

[……]