Chapter 5: Salt and Truth

Next day, I pack some things, carry bedspread, go knock Uncle Seyi door for opposite flat.

I dey carry bag of rice, tin milk, wrapper, even small pillow. My hand full, my eye red from cry. As I knock Uncle Seyi door, my heart dey shake.

As he see me, e body just shake small.

He dey rush arrange living room, dey wipe chair with hand, dey fix shirt. You go see say he dey nervous, but he try form strong.

He quick arrange him hair and cloth.

He dey pat head, dey check say face clean. I dey smile small for mind.

I explain say I need help, ask if e get time fit carry us go somewhere.

"Uncle Seyi, abeg, I get one small thing. I wan go see Abubakar mama for hotel. You fit help us?"

"Aunty, abeg, no go face that kind matter alone. I dey your side."

His voice loud, he dey eager, like person wey dey hope to make himself useful.

"I dey always available."

He just dey look me as he talk.

He dey try hide smile, but e no fit. Kamsi dey run around him leg, dey play. He dey act like big brother.

Uncle Seyi drive me and Kamsi go the small hotel by train station.

His car old, but he clean am well. As we dey drive, Kamsi dey sing, dey ask question, Uncle Seyi dey answer. He dey try make me laugh, dey tell me story of when him own papa die, how him mama survive. E sweet me small.

The hotel old, light no too dey, signboard for door write: "Lodge, thirty naira per day."

The gate rusty, two small boys dey play draft for entrance. Receptionist dey sleep, TV dey show NTA news. Everywhere quiet, smell of dust and old soap dey for air.

"Mummy, na here grandma dey stay? E too poor. Make we carry grandma come our house na?"

Kamsi small voice sound.

She dey pull my hand, dey look my face. Her voice dey crack, eye dey shine. She no fit understand why family no dey live together.

I just sigh.

I bend, touch her hair. "Grandma stubborn. She no go gree. She say she get reason."

Uncle Seyi come carry bag.

He quick collect big Ghana-must-go from my hand. He dey try form strong man, dey smile, dey say, "No wahala, make I carry everything go."

"Kamsi mama, the load too much. Make I help you carry am up."

He dey sweat, but he no complain. I dey thank am inside mind.

I hesitate, "No wahala, I no wan disturb you. Just wait for us here."

I dey try make e no enter family matter. I no wan shame myself if wahala burst.

Uncle Seyi look worry, talk gently:

He look my face, voice low. "I no like as you dey go meet that old woman alone. She vex, she fit talk rough. Make I just stay small, e go help your mind rest."

"That day, the old woman talk rough give you. If na only you and her, wahala fit happen. I go just dey there so Kamsi no go fear."

He dey talk soft, dey show say he care. Kamsi dey nod, dey hold my hand.

I just smile small, nod, "Thank you."

I dey thank God for good neighbours. For this life, na people wey dey help, dey make sorrow soft.

As I see Mama Zainab again,

Her face calm, but her eye dey sharp. She dey sit for small bed, wrapper tie for chest, phone for hand. I dey look her, dey think how life fit change person.

she dey sit for the small room, dey press phone.

The phone old, the screen don crack. She dey scroll picture of Abubakar for wallpaper. I dey feel small pity, small fear.

As she see me for door, she pause, stand, her eye calm.

She no talk, just dey wait. Her hand dey her back, like headmistress for assembly.

I take deep breath, talk slow.

"Mama, I know say you no go wan come stay our place, so I carry some things come for you. No matter wetin you think of me, I hope say, for Abubakar and Kamsi sake, you no go reject this small help."

I dey beg with eye, my hand dey shake. I fit see her own hand dey tremble small.

I look Uncle Seyi side.

He just dey stand for door, dey look both of us. He no wan enter, no wan go. I nod, give am small smile.

He come in, drop things, then waka commot quietly.

He no talk, just close door gently, give me privacy. Kamsi dey my back, dey squeeze my wrapper.

Mama Zainab just stand, no talk.

Her eye dey red, but her mouth shut. She dey size me up, like say she dey judge me for court.

She no gree collect, no reject, just dey look me with straight face.

Her silence loud. For Naija, sometimes na silent wahala worst pass noise.

Kamsi waka near, talk soft soft.

Her hand dey shake, but her voice low, gentle. "Grandma, abeg come stay with us. Mummy say daddy travel far, e no go come back soon. Abeg come stay with us, make we wait for daddy together."

Kamsi dey look her with hope, dey bite finger, dey blink. Even me, I wan cry.

Mama Zainab eye soft immediately. Her rough hand rub Kamsi head, her eye don red.

She bend, hug Kamsi, dey stroke her hair. Tears dey gather for her eye. Na so pain dey break even the strongest heart.

"Kamsi, you hear word. Grandma get important thing to do, so I no fit follow you go house yet."

Her voice dey strong, but small crack dey inside. She dey try hide tears, but e dey show.

"Grandma, I miss daddy. You miss am too?"

Kamsi dey twist wrapper, dey look floor. Her voice small, but e dey enter everybody ear.

"Yes, grandma... miss am well well."

Mama Zainab voice break small, she hug Kamsi tighter. Everybody quiet for that moment.

She try form strong, but her voice dey shake, emotion dey show.

She blink fast, wipe tear with wrapper. She dey try hide pain, but Kamsi dey see am. The bond between pikin and grandma dey strong, even if wahala full ground.

I turn, whisper to Uncle Seyi.

He dey wait for corridor, I call am with hand, my voice low. "Abeg help me carry Kamsi go buy Fanta."

He enter, carry Kamsi go downstairs.

He smile, carry her for back, dey tell her story, dey make her laugh. I dey thank am silently.

Now, na only me and Mama Zainab remain for the room.

The room small, no fan, window half broken. Mosquito dey hum for ear. Outside, conductor dey shout for road. But inside, na only sorrow dey.

This small hotel dey squeeze between big buildings, only small daylight dey enter through broken window.

You fit smell palm oil, hear radio for next room. But me and Mama Zainab dey face each other, like judge and accused.

Noise dey outside, but inside, everywhere just calm.

Na only our breath dey make sound. My hand dey my lap, her hand dey her chest. Na real wahala room.

"I no dey chop another woman salt, my pikin no teach me that one."

Her voice sharp, e cut air. I dey shock. I no expect that one.

Mama Zainab look me, talk suddenly.

She no blink. Her eye dey pin me. I dey feel small fear, small anger.

I shock, sigh for dark corridor.

I try hold myself, but tears dey my eye. I dey think wetin I do to deserve this level of blame.

"Police don clear me. I no get chance, I no get way, I no get reason. Abubakar death na only wahala e bring for my life. Why I go wan hurt am? Mama, I no understand why you dey sure say na me kill my husband..."

My voice dey shake, my hand dey tremble. I dey beg, but I dey stand my ground. My own pain pass wetin mouth fit talk.

"Na why you come today?"

I dey ask her, my eye dey red. I dey wait make she talk true. I dey hope say she go clear my name.

Mama Zainab voice steady. "You wan know how I, wey dey thousands of kilometres away, take know say na you really kill Abubakar, abi?"

Her tone no change, no pity. I dey look her, dey wait make she bring evidence.

Pain and helplessness just full my heart.

My chest dey heavy, tears dey fall for my face. I dey feel say the world dey close on me, like I dey inside coffin.

I wan talk, but e no get meaning.

My throat dry, I dey shake head. If to say I fit disappear, I go do am that moment.

"Since you dey insist say na me, make police decide."

My voice low, I dey tired. I dey pray make God fight my battle. My mind dey race.

I just talk, wan waka commot.

I carry bag, dey open door, dey hope say all this wahala go finish soon.

As I reach corridor, Mama Zainab voice come heavy from behind.

Her voice roll like thunder. I stop, my heart beat quick.

"True true, I no sure before."

Her words soft, but pain dey inside.

"But you come today, carry that young man follow. You wan make I think say you dey cheat? You wan make police check that side, make dem no see anything..."

She dey shake head, her face twist. Na old grudge dey show. I dey shock say she fit think like that.

"Now, I sure say na you kill am."

Her voice cut me like knife. My leg weak, my head spin. For Naija, this kind accusation na curse.

As she drop last word, everywhere quiet.

I no hear anything. Generator stop, conductor no dey shout. Na only my own heartbeat I dey hear.

I turn look am...

Her face hard, but tears dey her eye. Na pain and anger dey drag for inside her chest. I dey pity her, but my own pain dey swallow me.

For the small, dark corridor,

I stand for door, hand still dey knob. My back dey sweat, my eye dey red. I no fit talk, I no fit cry. I just dey look her, dey pray make God see my heart.

I just dey look her, no talk.

That silence na my answer. I dey hope say one day, truth go clear. For now, na only God know.