Chapter 3: The Day Seyi Looked My Way

Seyi senior us by two years. When we small, na him be leader for all the children for our compound.

He was the one who led our games, carried the torch during Christmas carol rehearsals, and found new shortcuts through the neighbour's backyard.

My sister, Ifeoma, always dey bold and lively. She sabi sweet-mouth and dey make people like am.

She would run after Seyi, challenging him at football, always finding a way to make even quarrels sweet.

All our relatives like am well, always dey hug and play with her, and she go dey laugh, showing her small white teeth and eyes wey dey like crescent moon.

She was the star in every family photo, dimples deep, laughter bubbling out like chilled Fanta from the bottle.

Me, I just dey stand for one corner, dey look.

Sometimes, I envied her ease. She fit move from group to group like fish for water, while I hovered at the edge, silent and small.

After everybody praise my sister finish, when dem look my side, after long silence, dem go just say, "The small sister too dey gentle."

I learned to accept it—to let their words fall on me like light rain, soaking but never drowning me.

When all the children dey play, Ifeoma dey middle of everything—blowing banger, catching tadpoles, playing ten-ten.

She could clap her hands fast, sing out the lyrics, and make everybody laugh even when she missed a step. The boys wanted to be her partner, the girls wanted to dress like her.

I no dey fit join, so I go just sit for sandpit, dey play with small plastic bucket and sand.

I built castles and small houses, pretending I was somewhere else, where quietness was not a sin.

I no even remember the exact day. Seyi tire for play, come sidon one side, dey lick TomTom sweet, dey look me.

His shadow stretched across my sand, his face unreadable as he watched me with a curious tilt to his head.

As him dey look me, I come dey feel like say I get extra power, come dey pack sand for my bucket anyhow till e full.

My hands moved faster, stealing small glances at him. For the first time, my castle was taller, steadier.

Seyi frown, come ask, "Wetin you dey do?"

His voice made me pause, my heart jumping into my mouth.

I sharply turn the small bucket upside down for him front, my eyelashes dey shake. "For you. Na for you I do am."

The sand sculpture tumbled onto the ground, a fragile offering. I waited, breath held, for his reaction.

Seyi shock.

He even look like person wey fear, TomTom fall from him mouth.

The sweet rolled on the sand, forgotten. I wanted to laugh, but the moment was too big for laughter.

After some time, he say, "Sister, you try o."

He said it with a small nod, his face softening. For a moment, I felt seen.

Seyi stubborn well. For primary school, him result always dey bottom.

Aunty Bisi, wey be soft teacher for secondary school, go dey pursue am with small cane every day, she no even send who dey look.

Neighbours would joke about how Seyi's wahala could not be cured with just beating, that only prayer and fasting could help.

But when him reach secondary school, na so him brain just open.

It surprised everybody, even Aunty Bisi. She started to boast about her son, her voice full of pride whenever neighbours asked.

He no leave first position for class, and after the JAMB, him put UniJos as first choice and enter as him want.

When he got his admission letter, the whole compound celebrated—even the security man brought out malt drinks for the children.

As we reach the restaurant, Mummy park and remove seatbelt. "Make we come down."

Her voice was brisk, as if she wanted us out before the car melted in the sun.

My sister reason for long, then ask, "Mummy, you get lipstick?"

She fiddled with her bag strap, eyes shining with excitement. Her confidence made the simple question sound like a beauty queen's request.

Mummy raise eyebrow, surprise. As she see my sister red ear, she just laugh. "My baby, you like—"

Her voice carried that teasing note only mothers have, full of hidden meaning.

"Shh, shh, shh!" My sister sharply stamp foot. "Mummy, abeg no talk am for here!"

She glanced around, making sure nobody from school could hear. Her face was flushed, lips pouting.

Mummy pick one fine lipstick give her. As my sister finish to rub am, she come down, then ask me, "Amaka, why you quick come down just now?"

She held the lipstick, eyes narrowed playfully at me. I could see she was waiting for my reply, her impatience almost bouncing in the air.

I say, "Because you stamp foot too hard."

I tried to keep my face straight, but a small smile threatened to break out. The truth was, I just wanted to escape their teasing.

My sister: "..."

She hiss, "I dey vex for you," then hold Mummy hand, waka go front.

Her steps were loud and dramatic, but I knew she would forget the vex in two minutes. Mummy only shook her head, smiling.

I just follow behind.

I kept my distance, watching their laughter from a few steps away. The restaurant's sweet aroma drifted out, mixing with the memories of all our other family outings.

Honestly, I dey envy Ifeoma.

Sometimes, I wished I could enter her skin for one day, see how the world sparkled from her side.

I dey envy as she dey show her feelings anyhow. Me, I never sabi do am.

Even when happiness squeezed my chest, my lips barely moved. Ifeoma could fill a whole room with one laugh. I watched her, hoping to learn.

Mummy and my sister dey waka for front, I dey follow for back. I don already used to am.

Our shadows stretched ahead, me always behind, footsteps quieter than theirs. Nobody really noticed.

My sister dey talk so much, even flower for restaurant fit make her laugh.

She pointed at the bright hibiscus by the door, her laughter ringing out like bell on Sunday morning. The staff couldn't help but smile back.

Waiter carry us enter private room. As I enter, my heart just dey beat anyhow—worse than when I write exam.

I felt sweat form on my palms, even with the cold air inside. My mind raced with possibilities—would Seyi be there?

Because exam get answer.

But Seyi, for me, na question wey no get answer.

No matter how much I tried to solve it, Seyi's heart was always a riddle.

I fit spend my whole life, no fit solve am.

Some things, like hidden feelings, just don't have answers.

The mahogany door open, I hear Mummy and Aunty Bisi dey greet.

The air inside cold, smell of fried plantain and pepper soup dey everywhere.

The voices mingled, warm and familiar, like Sunday jollof aroma floating from the kitchen.

Next thing, I see one fine boy wey I no too know.

He stood tall, his frame filling the doorway, smile slow and easy. My stomach flipped, my throat suddenly dry.

He wear black T-shirt. As he hear us enter, he turn, him eyes dark and deep.

His gaze swept the room, pausing on each of us. The overhead light caught the edge of his jaw, sharp and proud.

I no sure if na me he dey look, because my sister stand just in front of me.

But my heart insisted it was me—just for a split second.

Seyi eyes curve as he smile, like person wey get small mischief for mind.

His lips curled, the kind of smile that made girls whisper to each other at church.

Aunty Bisi tap am, "Come greet your Aunty Ngozi and your two small sisters."

Her voice was firm, eyes twinkling with pride. Family introductions were never skipped in our house.

After greeting us, Seyi tell Aunty Bisi, "Mummy, I no be small pikin again. Abeg, make I get small respect."

He tried to sound serious, but everyone knew he was joking. The whole room chuckled.

Aunty Bisi just hiss, then hold Mummy hand. "Come, menu dey here. Make una choose wetin una go chop."

Menus were passed around, full of bold promises and mouthwatering pictures. Even my stomach rumbled a bit.

The two mamas sit down dey gist. My sister sit down next to Seyi, her eyes dey shine. She ask am, "Seyi, you still remember me?"

Her voice was extra sweet, as if she was offering him chin-chin and zobo at the same time.

Seyi rest chin for hand, small smile for him face. "Of course. You be Little Rose."

He said it softly, like he was dusting off a cherished memory.

Little Rose na Ifeoma childhood nickname. That time, all the children for compound dey call her that to praise her.

The neighbours loved to call her that, especially when she danced barefoot in the rain or sang at Christmas.

Ifeoma just dey smile anyhow. "That’s good!" She bring out her phone. "Fit add you for WhatsApp?"

She brandished her phone confidently, not minding who was watching. Her boldness made me shrink into my seat a little more.

Seyi: "No wahala."

He unlocked his phone, his fingers moving fast. For a brief moment, our eyes met above the table.

He unlock him phone, and from behind Ifeoma, I see say na PUBG Mobile game he dey play. I never play that game before, so I just bone.

I watched the flashing lights on his screen, wondering if I could ever learn a game like that. It felt like a world I wasn't meant to enter.

Well, this holiday long, I fit use am learn.

Maybe, if I learned it, Seyi would notice me too.

After they add each other, as Ifeoma wan talk again, Seyi look up. "Sister, find seat now."

He said it with a laugh, but his voice carried a command. The old Seyi still lived in the new one.

Ifeoma look my side, small vex for her face. "Amaka, abeg sit down."

She rolled her eyes, but I could tell she wasn't really angry.

I nod.

I moved quickly, not wanting to draw attention. My heartbeat thudded loud in my chest.

Eight seats dey there.

Every seat felt far from Seyi, except for the one I chose.

Aunty Bisi no sit near Seyi, but with my mama. For one side of Mummy sit Ifeoma, then Seyi. I reason small, then sit for the other side of Seyi.

I held my breath as I sat down, wondering if anyone noticed my small act of courage.

He look surprise. "AC dey blow here o, you fit cold."

His voice was gentle, almost teasing. I shook my head, pretending the cold didn't bother me.

I try form. "E no dey do me."

I wrapped my arms around myself under the table, hiding my goosebumps. My words came out braver than I felt.

Ifeoma look my side, then smile sweet for Seyi. "Seyi, fit tell me about the courses for UniJos?"

Her voice was soft, eyes big. I saw the blush creeping up her cheeks as she waited for his answer.

Her cheeks red, just dey attract Seyi attention.

He turned his whole body towards her, leaving me in the cold shadow of his shoulder.

He lean back, body turn face her. I dey see him sharp jaw, fine face.

I watched them, heart twisting like wrapper tied too tight.

After small explanation, Seyi suddenly turn face me. "Sister, you dey hear?"

His question surprised me, voice warm. I met his eyes, startled. For one moment, I thought he was reaching out to me.

I no expect am to talk to me first. I shock, never reply, when Ifeoma cut in, "No worry, Amaka result no reach UniJos."

Her words stung, but I kept my face straight, swallowing the pain.

My face no change; I don used to am.

I learned to hide my hurt, the way one hides a broken cup behind the cupboard.

I just look up, meet one pair of dark, bright eyes.

Seyi eyes no too big, but him eyelashes long, dey cast shadow.

The light danced on his face, making him look even more unreachable.

Half my body just numb.

My breath caught, chest tight.

My heart dey beat.

I counted the beats, willing myself not to show anything.

Seyi carry bottle of peach juice put for my front.

His hand brush mine—just small, but my skin burn as if I touch hot pot.

Like say he wan console me—or maybe just by the way—he say, "Gold go shine anywhere e dey."

His words hung in the air, soft but powerful, washing over me like cool evening breeze after a hot day.

I just dey look the peach juice.

It shimmered in the light, an unopened promise.

That small kindness—na there my heart really scatter. I know say I no fit run from am again.