Chapter 3: Broken Promises and New Babies

Later, he tell me say he no mean to vex for dinner, but still blame me say I shame Aunty Morayo. "Your Aunty dey treat you well, abi? Tomisin dey call me Papa, but you still dey call her Aunty. You no think say e dey pain her?"

I answer, "I never think am. I just know say I fit accept say you marry another woman, but I no fit call another person 'Mama.' And just like Mama, I dey allergic to fish." I talk am soft, my voice dey tremble. My eyes dey red but I hold tears.

He shock. He no talk again, just waka comot, slippers dey drag for tile like wahala heavy for leg.

Papa always dey hope say I go accept Aunty Morayo as stepmama. But I dey keep my distance. Even for church, when people dey hail us as one happy family, I go shift small, make space dey.

As time dey pass, our join-join family enter third year, and my mama own seven years remembrance reach. The dust from past wahala never settle, e still dey fly inside my heart.

Before he marry again, my papa go dey spend almost the whole day with me for cemetery. But after, things change. The way he go hold my hand before, now e dey busy with phone, dey chat Aunty Morayo.

First year after the marriage, he face Aunty Morayo understanding eye, still follow me go. Second year, Aunty Morayo say she busy, ask am to go attend Tomisin PTA meeting. He think am for days but still follow me go, but after we pray and pour libation, he rush comot. The kola nut never finish, him leg don dey outside.

"Your sister Tomisin—papa think say e no fit miss am." He talk am like person wey wan beg but shame dey hold am.

At fourteen, I stand for harmattan breeze, dey look my papa back as he waka go, my eye red. My nose dey run, my hand dey cold. I dey wonder who go wipe my tears now.

That time, I dey wonder: Next year go still dey for us? I stand with my shadow long for ground, dey ask myself questions wey no get answer.

Now I know the answer. Because he break promise. The promise wey he give for my mama grave, e scatter like dry leaf for wind.

I wait from morning reach night. At last, I just tell Mama for her grave, "Mama, from now on, na only me go dey come visit you, okay?" My voice low, my hands dey shake as I touch the sand.

Her picture still dey smile. I sigh, adjust my scarf, waka slow go house. My leg dey weak, I nearly stumble for gutter, but I manage reach gate.

One week later, one morning, Aunty Morayo look her phone calendar, sigh, "Time dey fly. E be like say we just marry yesterday, but now na almost three years." Her tone soft, she dey shine teeth small.

As she talk am, my papa hand wey hold boiled egg, the egg just fall for ground, break with noise. E scatter, yoke spread for tile, na so everybody quiet.

He look me, mouth open, like say he wan talk something, but dem cut am short. I see say him mind dey far, the way eye dey shake.

"Papa, Mama, wetin una cook for breakfast?" Tomisin don wake up. Her waka enter break the tension for parlour. She just dey wear that her yellow slippers wey dey make kpokpo sound.

Aunty Morayo pretend to scold but dey pet my papa, "See your lazy daughter, sleep reach this time." She rub Tomisin head small, her own way of show love.

My papa defend her as usual: "Na holiday. Make she sleep if she want." He try laugh but e no reach him eye.

Everywhere just dey peaceful. Me, I just dey like outsider. My body dey that parlour, but my mind dey somewhere else. I dey look their faces, but e be like say I dey inside bottle.

"Papa, next year for Mama remembrance, no need follow me go." My voice no loud, but e carry weight. I no fit hold am anymore.

Laughter stop. Everybody eye face me. My papa face no show anything. Even Tomisin mouth hang, she forget to chew bread wey dey her hand.

I just nod. "I dey go library." I no look anybody for face.

I tight my bag, waka pass door, lock am behind me. The sound of lock loud for my ear, like warning bell for church.

As I come back from library, I see my papa, Aunty Morayo and Tomisin dey happy for computer front. The way dem dey laugh, e be like say my wahala no dey reach them.

Tomisin ask, "Papa, if we buy this house, you and Mama go get the big room, me go stay next door, okay?"

"Of course." He nod with smile, but as he talk, he look up see me. The happiness just vanish. I see say e no easy for am to balance two worlds.

"Ifunanya, you don come?" He try use soft voice, but the tension dey for air.

Aunty Morayo greet me well, "Your papa and me dey talk how we go share rooms for new house. Ifunanya, you wan see?" She stretch hand, but e be like say she dey reach person wey no wan answer.

But her excitement just dey vex me. The way her voice high, e dey do me like say na insult.

"E even necessary? Una don already plan everything, abi?" I ask, voice sharp. I dey shake, but I no show am.

As I talk am, my papa vex, shame dey catch am. "Who teach you to dey talk to elder like that?" His voice rise, the veins for his neck show. Tomisin shift chair, dey avoid wahala.

He no dey vex often. But these days, anytime he vex, na because of Aunty Morayo. I dey watch am, the way him face dey change.

I no look am. I just waka enter my room. I slam the door, drop my bag for floor, heart dey knock for my chest.

I fit hear Aunty Morayo dey calm am: "No vex. She still be pikin. Make we just dey patient, dey teach her." She speak soft, like person wey dey beg for peace.

"Na true, Papa, try patient with Sister," Tomisin add. Her voice tiny, but she mean am.

"Tomisin na correct pikin," he sigh. I hear the sound, e heavy like stone for him chest.

I lock my door. As everywhere quiet, I slide down the door. The vex don go, na confusion remain. I dey really worse than Tomisin? My mind dey run left and right.

But as I think am, I just wave the thought comot. I shake head, try brush the pain away.

I look the box of award certificate under my table, my mind come calm. I touch the paper, feel the rough edge, dey remember all the nights wey I read under lantern.

Who talk say I no better pass her? I sharp, I dey win for school, teachers like me. Even principal sabi call my name for assembly.

Make papa like her if he want. I no send. My heart dey strong, I tell myself say I go survive.

I arrange myself, open book. Mock exam dey come soon. I tell myself, "Ifunanya, focus—no let their matter scatter your head."

Ifunanya, you no get time to dey sad. Time dey go, book dey wait.

Thank God, hard work no dey fail. Second semester of JSS3, as result for first mock exam come out, na my name dey top. My head swell, I dey smile as I dey waka home.

As for Tomisin, wey dey always manage enter top hundred, this time her name no even show. She just dey quiet for class, even teacher no call her again.

As I reach house, I see Aunty Morayo dey use her fine finger tap Tomisin head. She dey vex, her voice loud.

"You dey craze? See as you dey waka, who you wan show? Book no dey hungry you? Ifunanya na only few months older than you—how she fit get first, you no fit? If you fail again, your papa go like Ifunanya pass you, no go even send you."

My papa no dey house. Nobody to stop them. Tomisin dey cry, her tears dey drop for her blouse.

When Aunty Morayo see me, she shame small. "Ifunanya, you don come?" Her tone dey different, she dey try form gentle.

I nod, greet her, just waka pass living room enter my room. As I close door, I see Tomisin just dey bow her head, dey promise her mama say she go try next time. The sound of her sniff dey ring for my ear.

May reach fast, second mock exam come. Tomisin still no fit climb back, she even drop more. The pain show for her eye everyday, her laughter just disappear.

After parent-teacher meeting that night, Aunty Morayo almost beat Tomisin die. I hear her dey shout:

"I no tell you make you leave that boy, face your book? You small like this, you dey do boyfriend?" The sound of slap echo for corridor. Tomisin dey beg, but e no reach her mama heart.

My papa come from work, rush enter, collect one slap for Tomisin, na so the beating stop. Him face show worry, he dey pant like person wey run marathon.

"She no want fail, abi? If you injure her, na you go still cry later." He use eye signal Tomisin. "You no go beg your mama?"

Tomisin just bone, no talk. Her face red, eyes swollen. She dey hug pillow, her leg dey shake.

My papa look me where I dey for dining table, no send, come vex. "Your sister dey chop beating—you no fit talk something to comfort her?"

I reply with one kain smile, "If I rush go collect slap for Tomisin like you, you go happy?" My voice cool, but inside me dey burn.

My papa just mute. He no talk again. I see say shame dey worry am.

After that night, Aunty Morayo begin monitor Tomisin well. Make she face book. But after she slack for long, how she go fit catch up? The pressure too much, Tomisin dey look lost every day.

When common entrance result come, I be local government best, but she no even reach normal school cut-off. People dey hail my papa for church, dem dey call am "papa first."

After I submit my application, I come house see Tomisin dey cry anyhow. Na that time she come dey regret. As she dey cry, my papa and Aunty Morayo just dey pet her. The thing tire me.

I carry bag, waka pass three of them wey dey huddle, go library as usual. I no look back, just focus on my own.

Na sweat dey bring better result. Na better result dey open road for future. I talk am for my mind as I dey open book again.

But I no know say one day, the road wey I build for myself, fit nearly spoil. The future wey I dey plan, e go bend for one side.

July 2nd, my papa send me WhatsApp message, make I bring one document come his NGO office—say e urgent. He even add, "No waste time o, I dey wait."

I no wan go, but Aunty Morayo and Tomisin no dey house. I think, what if na true emergency? My heart dey do me one kind, but I still lock gate, begin dey go.

I carry document go. But fifteen minutes later, I regret am. My leg dey shake as I waka, my mind dey warn me, but I no listen.

Who go believe say young girl like me go just dey waka, person go grab me from back, cover my mouth and nose, drag me go bush? The sky just dey dark, nobody for road.

Before I faint, I see tattoo for the man arm: two letters—M&T. My body cold, fear catch my heart, na so darkness carry me.

...

As I wake, the document wey I carry don tear, dem tuck am under me. Blood dey everywhere. My cloth rough, I weak like say malaria hold me.

After the man finish, he waka leave. I just lie down for ground. After long time, I force myself, wear my cloth, begin go house. My leg dey drag, I dey limp, but I dey push myself.

Only one thought dey my head: I must wash away this thing. My body dey itch, I dey feel dirty. I dey pray say make nobody see me.

Thank God say night don fall. People no notice my tear and torn cloth. The street light no even dey work, only generator noise dey my ear.

As I reach house, nobody dey. I lock myself inside bathroom. As I remove cloth, bruise full my body. Water no even dey run well, but I use sachet water dey pour for myself.

Before I faint, the man dirty talk still dey my ear:

"You dey wear skirt for summer, waka pass here—you dey find me, abi? Na wetin you deserve..." I fit still hear am, like snake voice for my head.

I scrub my skin with towel, dey rub hard. My skin red, bruise dey show, but I no fit clean myself. I dey cry, I dey curse the world.

As I look my battered self for mirror, I break, squat for ground dey cry. My voice choke, no sound wan come out.

Cry no do. I dey remember the man hand, I rush vomit for toilet, but na only dry heave. I dey hug toilet seat, my mind dey spin.

My eye red from vomit, nothing come out. I collapse for cold floor, dey breathe hard. I hug myself, dey rock back and forth.

After long, I gather courage call my papa. I need small comfort—just one word. Even if na small, make e hold me.

But—

"Papa, I—" My voice dey shake, tears dey my eye.

For phone, he dey shout:

"Where you dey? We suppose celebrate your Aunty thirty-five years birthday together. Why you never reach hotel?" His voice sharp, e sound like quarrel, no concern.

My brain just blank. I no fit reason anything. I try talk, but my mouth dry.

"I give you thirty minutes. Take keke or anyhow, just reach here—Palm Grove Grand Hotel." I hear the impatience for him voice.

Before call end, I hear Aunty Morayo soft voice: "Why you dey vex for the pikin..."

Call cut. I call again. No answer. My hand dey shake as I press redial, but nothing.

Cricket dey make noise outside. Na rainy season, but my body cold like ice. Even the AC wey dey hum for parlour no fit warm me. The pain choke me like wrapper for neck.

I no go hotel. I lie down for sofa, eye wide, curl up till day break. I dey listen to clock tick, my body dey shiver.

That night, Papa no come house. Only generator sound dey my companion, I no even sleep.

Na the next morning, as I hear door open, I see am carry flower enter. Him dey whistle, like person wey just win lottery.

I hold my fist. As he see me, he shock, then begin question me as if nothing happen:

"Where you go last night? Why you no come hotel? You know how your Aunty want make family celebrate her birthday? When she come back, abeg apologize to her." He dey form serious papa, but him eye never settle.

I look am, tears dey blur my eye. Everything I hold all night just burst. My body dey tremble, I no fit hold back.

"Papa, why anytime you come house, na to blame me? You even ask wetin do me yesterday?"

My voice dey shake. "Yesterday six o’clock, I dey house dey read, you text me say make I bring document come your office, make I pass shortcut..." I dey cry, voice crack, but I push the words out.

He cut me short:

"How e go be? I dey talk with hotel manager that time, I no even touch my phone. Even if you no wan come hotel, no dey lie—" He dey shout, voice loud, as if he dey suspect me.

He put flower for vase, look up, eye shrink. Suddenly, he see the bruises. Without my long sleeve, bruise full my body. Scratch dey my face and arm, purple mark for neck—he finally see say something dey wrong. Silence drop for parlour.

"Ifunanya, you—wetin happen to you?" His voice low, he dey shake, fear dey catch am.

I look am, try calm. "Na wetin you see. Yesterday, as you dey celebrate your wife birthday, dem rape me." I talk am straight, my chest dey pain me.

He freeze, then hand dey shake as he waka come me. I see pain for him eye. Small hope rise for my mind. Maybe, this time, he go stand for me.

So—

"Papa, abeg call Aunty Morayo and Tomisin come house..." My voice soft, I dey beg, tears full my face.

The pain for his eye just turn to doubt. "Why you dey call them?" Him eyebrow rise, him voice hard again.

He insist, "E no fit concern them. I know your Aunty, and Tomisin na good pikin..." The way he defend dem, e choke me.

In short, he no gree. His strong trust for them just burn my mind, my eye red. My chest dey heavy, I dey shake.

I throw my phone give am. "Papa, you no believe me, abi? See for yourself." I dey shout, my heart dey tear.

He look the phone, finger dey shake, but he no move. He dey look me with doubt, like say I be stranger.

"See," I beg, my voice dey heavy with tears. "See." My hand dey tremble, my legs dey weak.

He look away, shame dey catch am. He just dey look floor like person wey no fit face wahala.

That time, I even laugh. I laugh, but pain dey bite my throat.

"Papa, you dey fear. The reason you dey resist—na because for your mind, you know say the two women wey you dey cherish, na snake dem be? Dem dey wish make your former wife pikin comot for this world?"

Gbosa.

Slap meet my face. He freeze, then begin apologize:

"Ifunanya, sorry, Papa no mean am..." Him voice low, him hand dey tremble. I see say he dey regret.

I no talk, but tears just dey fall. My face dey hot, my body dey cold.

He panic. "Papa go look, okay?" He dey promise, but I know say him mind no dey my side.

But instead, he bring out his own phone, hand dey shake. After small time, he show me the screen, relief for his face: "See, Ifunanya, no message for my phone. Na mistake." He dey smile weakly, but I see say na fear dey push am.

That moment, I just give up on my papa. My heart cold, I no fit trust am again.

I look am with cold eye. "I go call police." I talk am sure, no shaking for my voice.

He open mouth, panic for eye. But as he no fit stop me, he still follow me go police station that morning. For the first time, he quiet, he no argue.

Police quickly open case. I quietly give them my phone, hope say dem go catch Aunty Morayo and her daughter. My chest dey pound, I dey pray for justice.

But reality fall my hand. Everything twist, I dey look police eye, my spirit dey weak.

To protect my privacy, police use CCTV, quick catch the rapist in two days. Na Musa, one eighteen-year-old street boy, tattoo full body. The shock scatter my head.

As dem question am, he just talk, "Who send her to wear short skirt dey waka for my front?" The words sting me, my chest dey pain.

Dem say na accident. E no concern the message, no concern Aunty Morayo and her daughter. Na just bad luck catch me. My papa head dey low, I dey see regret for his eye.

That day, I just watch as my papa dey cry, "Ifunanya, Papa sorry..." His tears hot for my hand, but my heart just empty. That night, I know say part of me don die, and nobody for this house fit bring am back.

I begin see psychologist. E help small, but no reach. Every night, nightmare dey disturb me. I dey wake up, dey sweat, dey cry, no peace.

At age wey I suppose dey shine, my heart just die. My friends dey happy, dey play, but me, I dey hide my pain.

One month before my sixteen birthday, rape case finally go court. As minor and victim, I no suppose go, but I still show. My mind dey shake, but I dey strong myself.

I see the man dey ask judge, "That girl dey okay, abi?" As dem say yes, he smile, then cry, "Na my fault, I no mean am..." I dey watch, my heart dey heavy.

I see my papa chest dey shake with vex, like say he wan kill the man. His fist dey tight, but he no talk.

I bow my head. That time, my mask just soak with tears. My face dey wet, I dey sob for my seat.

At last, the rapist get six years for prison. Judge voice loud, e no shake, gavel fall like thunder for court.

As dem talk verdict, he shock. "I no gree! I wan appeal! No be say the girl dey okay? Why I go prison six years?" His voice dey high, but nobody answer am.

As we comot court, my papa try touch my head. I just shift. Pain show for his eye. He dey look me like person wey lost way.

"Ifunanya, sorry. Papa no protect you... Wetin you want make I do so you fit forgive me?" He dey beg, voice dey shake.

I look up. As I see hope for his face, I talk, "I want make you divorce Aunty Morayo." My voice firm, no smile.

He freeze, shame for face. "Your Aunty talk say na your sister prank—she no mean am. Papa go apologize for her, make sure Aunty teach her well, okay?" He dey stammer, fear dey catch am.

I just laugh. Who go apologize for my life wey don spoil? I shake head, wipe my tears.

As I look his hopeful face, I see clear: My papa no be my papa again. That bond wey dey before, e don scatter.

"I go move enter school hostel tomorrow." My decision strong, I no blink.

He pause for few seconds, then sigh deep. He no argue. He just look down, as if he know say e no fit win me again.

After I move hostel, far from Aunty Morayo and her daughter, I begin get small peace. But e no last. The peace just dey like breeze, e go, e come.

First year for secondary school, harmattan break reach, nowhere to go, I return that house wey dey choke me. The dust for road choke my nose, my bag heavy for hand. Na there I know why, some months ago, papa no wan divorce Aunty Morayo— as I open door, I hear baby cry for master bedroom.

I waka go slow. I see Aunty Morayo lie for bed, dey send my papa up and down: "Hurry up, see as Baby Fisayo dey cry." Her voice high, the baby voice dey follow.

My papa dey rush do baby food, dey complain with smile, "See this one, no dey wait at all—" The way him dey juggle, e funny but pain dey hide for my heart.

He look up see me, my hair still dey wet from dust, panic enter his eye. He swallow spit, dey reason wetin to talk.

"Ifunanya, why you come back? I wan come pick you." He dey stammer, him hand dey shake.

He check clock—six for evening—he just dey lost. He dey scratch head, no know wetin to do.

"Ifunanya, papa no mean to forget you. Na just... your small brother..." He try smile, but e no reach him eye.

He pause, remember say he never tell me about baby. Shame catch am. Him voice low, e dey mumble like say him dey confess.

Baby cry again. Aunty Morayo shout from room, "Zechi, the baby don poo! Come clean am!" Her voice loud, e echo for corridor.

He rush enter room, no look me again, begin dey clean baby. The sound of water, baby wail, everything just dey mix for my ear.

After half hour, my door knock. "Ifunanya?" He call soft. I no answer. He sigh. I fit hear the pain for him breath.

"Ifunanya, your Aunty na thirty-five, we no fit abort this pikin, so we keep am. But papa promise, even with small brother, I no go forget you—" His words dey float, but my heart no dey collect am.

He talk am like say e true. I no believe. His promise light like feather, breeze fit carry am go.

So, one month later, as I come back from library, bag land for my front, I even feel relief—finally, e don end. The wahala no get end, but at least, I know say my own dey clear.

Aunty Morayo dey carry baby wey dey whimper, her eye red. As she see me, she glare. Tomisin lean for her mama, head down, dey reason. My papa stand, vein show for neck, face full of vex. The tension thick, if you cut am, blood go come out.

I look the trash for floor—plenty empty cold medicine pack. The sight shock me, but I hold face.

"Fisayo na your brother. How you fit wicked reach to put cold medicine for him food? If no be say I sick today go find medicine for trash, I for no know say you fit do this kind thing!" My papa voice loud, he dey shake, pain and anger dey mix.

As dem accuse me, my heart just move small, then calm. I dey watch all of them, my mind dey blank.

I talk, plain:

"No be me. If na me, you no go see evidence. Besides, Tomisin dey that room too. Why e no fit be her?" My voice steady, I dey look Tomisin face.

As I talk am, my papa look Tomisin. Tomisin look up, tears full her eye. She dey shake head, dey wipe face.

"Papa, no be me. I always dey alone, I know wetin be loneliness—you sabi. I dey happy say I get small brother." Her voice dey break, but she dey try strong.

She go her room bring box. "See, I even buy silver bracelet for am—I no fit hurt am. But na Ifunanya—Papa, na Ifunanya no like me and Mama, na she go fit poison her brother..." She dey sob, her hand dey tremble as she show the bracelet.

Aunty Morayo see this, hug baby, begin cry, "Ifunanya, if you get wahala with me, face me. Fisayo na small pikin—how you fit wicked like this?" Her tears dey fall, she dey rock the baby, her voice high.

My papa, as he hear all, anger take over. He slap me hard. The sound loud, my face burn.

"Apologize to your Aunty!" He shout, finger dey point me, veins for his neck dey show.

I look am, face no shake. My heart dey cold, I no dey fear again.

Aunty Morayo cry louder. "God o, I nearly die give your family pikin, now the pikin nearly die, but him papa no fit talk! Maybe make I carry my child go!" She dey wail, baby dey cry louder.

Baby begin cry too. My papa, vex dey worry am, point me, finger dey shake: "If you no apologize today, comot from this house!" He dey shout, spit dey fly from mouth.

I look up, meet his eye. I dey look deep, make he see my pain.

"If you gree say na your fault, your Aunty and I go—"

"Okay."

He freeze, no believe. "Wet in you talk?" He dey look me, surprise for face.

I talk, "Okay." My voice low, but my spirit strong. I no go cry. I don gree say this family wahala no go kill me. Inside me, I dey promise myself say one day, I go find peace, even if e no dey this house. I no go let their wahala kill me. As my grandma dey talk, "If rain no stop, person go still find road cross."