Chapter 7: Last Songs and First Truths

7

Na like say I dey under spell—I kiss her sharp.

Our lips jam, my hand dey wander. Na raw hunger dey control us. I forget who I be.

She hug me, lie for sofa.

The seat soft, but na her touch dey ground me. She dey grip my shirt, dey pull me close.

Just like that night for mountain, we set everywhere on fire, dey entangle, no care if anybody go enter.

My body dey shake, her nails dey scratch my back. I dey lose control.

As e hot, I grab her hair, ask her: “Why you bring man come see me? Why you dey close to am?”

Jealousy dey push me talk. My voice rough, but my mind dey beg for answer.

Morayo answer without fight: “Because I vex for you. I vex say you get wife, I vex say you leave me for so many days, I vex say you leave me for that town. You no try, you be bad guy.”

Her voice dey break small. As she talk, I dey feel her pain and her wahala. Na truth, I no try at all.

The more she dey abuse me, the more my body dey ginger. I forget say I be human, na only beast dey my mind.

Na so pleasure dey mix with pain, everything dey explode for head.

I no know how long we dey there; when we tire, we just dey hold each other for sofa.

My sweat dey mix with her perfume, na new scent.

“Wetin you dey think?” she ask.

Her voice low, like prayer.

I no hide from her. “I dey think, maybe na this be life.”

I dey confess truth, as if na final day.

She no talk, just rest her head for my shoulder, hold my hand tight.

Her grip dey firm, body dey warm. Small peace dey that moment.

Ten years ago, for school, na so Halima dey show love to me.

I dey remember old days—when small touch mean everything.

Things don change. Wetin I sabi be say, for this moment, na only Morayo I want, I want this madness, I want release all the things wey I dey hide since.

I dey hide too much, but now, I fit breathe.

“Make we go—no be your friends dey come?” I ask.

I dey paranoid, but I no want wahala.

“No mind me, I just dey test your mind. Na only you I call.”

She dey laugh, mouth wide. Na correct mischief dey her eye.

“But man still dey downstairs. At least greet.”

I dey insist, make e no be like say I dey run from challenge.

Morayo just laugh, talk, “You no notice say na woman?”

Na there my eye clear. All along, I dey worry for nothing.

I just quiet.

I dey hide my shame, dey pretend say I no care.

“I dey go soon,” she talk.

Her tone soft. E get as e dey touch me. Na final warning.

I know wetin she mean.

Some journeys no get repeat. Na now or never.

“No think too much. I no want anything from you—just like before, no need make you carry responsibility.”

She dey try free my mind. But my heart dey heavy.

But as she talk am, I know say I must decide.

Na crossroad. My marriage, my freedom, my wahala—all dey for hand.

I reach house early morning, lie down for bed wey me and Halima dey use.

For mattress, I dey count ceiling, dey hear echo of Morayo voice for my ear.

Ten years love, I no fit protect this marriage again, and na me spoil am.

I no fit blame anybody.

I pick phone:

My hand dey shake, but I type sharp.

“Make we divorce. I no want anything.”

I send am, heart dey bleed.

Surprisingly, Halima call me immediately.

Na surprise. She never call this early before.

I check time—2 a.m. She dey sleep by 11; I fit wake her.

As she dey ask me questions, I no fit talk. She no talk much, just pause, then talk say she go reach house in five days at the earliest.

Her voice calm, but her silence dey loud. I fit feel say something inside her just break.

She always dey calm; anything happen, she dey act like e no touch her.

Halima na iron. But every iron fit bend one day.

I don taya.

For my mind, na relief dey mix with pain. I dey wait for judgment.