Chapter 2: Halima—Old Fire, New Ashes

I no believe say I be bad person like that.

Even if I sleep with Halima when I still dey married.

All I fit talk be say, some things for this life—e just dey somehow, no dey satisfy.

The matter just dey confuse person, like when you dey chop jollof rice but your mind dey on small suya for junction. My conscience dey drag me sometimes, but body get its own wahala.

One year ago, for secondary school reunion, I jam my old crush, Halima, again.

As I see her, I no fit believe my eyes.

Before, Halima—fine, dey shine, her family get money, always top for class. For boys like us wey dey always doubt ourselves, she be like angel—no way to reach her, even for dream.

But that day, na woman wey life don show pepper I see.

She don thin, face don fall, look tired. The lines for her face show say e don tey wey she dey struggle.

My heart just pain me somehow.

E be like say the moon wey you dey look before don fall for ground—no dey shine again, just dirty.

I remember how I dey use style peep her for assembly, dey wait make she pass. The Halima wey dey my mind dey different from this woman wey stand for corner dey squeeze bag. E pain me—e pain me say the world fit turn person so.

As we wan go house that night, everybody gather near my new car. Halima talk, "This your car na like three or four million, abi?"

One classmate near her just hiss, "You dey joke? This car pass ten million. Seyi na branch manager now, you think say e still dey like before?"

Her face come change, she bone like person wey chop pepper.

I rush talk, "E no cost like that, no mind them."

She look me, hold her face straight, waka go without greet anybody.

I see as her back stiff, pride still dey her body, even when things no pure again. Na that kain stubbornness dey make me respect her. No be everybody fit carry head up when wahala blow reach ground.

Later, as people dey talk, I hear about wetin she don face these years.

Her family business crash while she dey university, everything lost. After she graduate, she marry one man wey get bad temper. During fight, the man die. She sell house and car to pay compensation, still land for police wahala.

After divorce, she raise her four-year-old son alone, dey rent house, dey sell insurance to survive.

For Lagos, na normal gist be that—one minute you dey enjoy, next minute e be like say na only God know your address. People dey talk say she try, some dey mock, some dey pity. But the truth be say, nobody fit really understand wetin she dey carry for mind except she talk am herself.

"She no dey come reunion before. Maybe she just wan find customer. Nothing bad for hustle, but with that her face, who go buy from her?"

Half month later, Halima call me, dey ask if I need commercial insurance.

Morayo dey work for bank insurance, so all my things don already set.

Halima sound small disappointed, so I connect her to some of my friends.

Later, Halima invite me out chop to thank me. I agree sharp sharp.

The day wey we go chop, she wear yellow gown, try smile but I see say eye dey dull. She still try keep head up, but small sadness dey for her laugh. Na so I dey notice say, under all the strong face, she need person wey go show am say e still matter.

Not too long, her pikin, Sadiq, catch high fever. She no fit get keke for heavy rain, she call me, dey panic.

Of course, I do everything I fit help.

After that, anytime Halima cook better food, she go invite me. Sadiq dey call me “Uncle Seyi”, no dey leave my side.

The small boy dey always hug me leg, dey drag me play. Sometimes, Halima go look us from kitchen, her eye soft. I go feel something move for my chest, like say I dey see another life wey fit be.

That day, rain dey fall heavy. I no fit go, so we drink small. She buy me one chilled malt and small chops.

As Sadiq sleep, she waka go bedroom. After small time, she call my name from inside.

I go in.

She dey sit for bed, wear Ankara nightie, e cling for her waist, her skin dey shine under bulb, eyes red as she look me.

She bite her lip, talk low, "Seyi, I no get anything to take thank you. If you no mind, na only this body remain…"

I shame, quick turn, dey stammer, "Ha-Halima, I no help you because I want anything. We be old classmates—na normal to help."

She sigh for back, her voice just weak.

"I remember for class, you dey always look me. I know say I no fit reach as I be before."

"If na that one dey worry you, make I talk am now—I no plan marry again, I no go spoil your family. I just want the present…"

Outside, rain dey fall. Inside, everywhere just different.

Suddenly, I turn rush go meet her.

For that moment, all my head dey blank. Rain beat window, but my hand dey shake as I touch her. Sometimes, when person dey lost, na only touch fit remind you say you still dey alive.