Chapter 6: Confession and Cold Goodbye

I know say I no fit hide again.

My mouth dry, tongue dey heavy. I dey think if I go talk or just faint.

My voice low, I start to talk. Tears almost for my eye, but I no gree cry.

I just tell her everything, from the first mistake—how I take kiss Ifeoma thinking na her.

I confess all, my voice dey tremble, I dey look ground.

Then today, Ifeoma drink, I mistake her for Ifunanya again, come sleep with her.

As I talk am, her eye dey red, she dey shake. My hand dey shake too.

I no hide anything.

I dey confess like say I dey for Father Patrick church for confession.

Ifunanya listen, her eyes red, tears dey pour.

She cover her mouth, tears dey drop for her blouse. I dey feel her pain.

"No be all my fault. Na Ifeoma start am. I no even expect am..."

I dey beg, try defend myself, but I know say my own don finish.

"Gbosa." Another slap.

This one heavy, I see bright light for my eye.

"After everything, she pretend say na you, just to run. E clear say na set up..."

I dey try explain. The words dey choke for my throat.

"Gbosa." Another slap.

My face don dey hot. My pride don disappear.

I no even count how many slap I chop today.

I dey count with my mind, but pain no gree let me reach three.

That last slap weak me.

I bend, hand for cheek. I dey think say na only God fit help me now.

"See, una two like slap, abi?"

I try joke, but the thing no funny. She dey cry more.

"I talk am, na she seduce me, she pretend say na you, na why I sleep with am. No be say I plan am. Tell me, where I for wrong?"

I dey talk, but I know say na nonsense. My conscience dey judge me.

Ifunanya no talk, she just dey pack her load.

She open wardrobe, dey throw cloth for Ghana-Must-Go. Her silence dey heavy like Sango stone.

Yes, I suppose know before. Ifunanya dey calm when she vex, she no dey shout.

Her silence dey pain me pass the slap. Na cold anger.

She no be like Ifeoma fake drama.

Ifeoma dey do drama, dey shout. Ifunanya dey keep her pain inside. That one dey wound person.

And Ifunanya no dey ever start that kind thing with me. No matter how, na me dey wrong.

I dey blame myself. If to say I get sense, all this for no happen.

I hug Ifunanya from back. "Abeg, I know say I mess up. I dey beg, but..."

I press my face for her back, tears dey my eye. I dey beg her with all my heart.

"Leave me. You dey make me sick."

Her words cut me. She no turn. Her back cold, her heart colder.

She stop packing, no look me, her voice cold like freezer meat.

Her voice dey freeze my hope. I dey pray make she change mind, but her eye no even blink.

If I no leave her, she no go fight. I fit even hold her like that forever, but I know—the longer I hold her, the more she go lose hope.

Na true. If person dey force love, e dey push am away more.

I no fit hold her forever. By then, no hope again.

I dey reason say sometimes to love person, na to give dem space, even if e dey pain you.

I watch her pack and go.

She no even look back. She just close door gentle, no slam am. That one pain me pass all the shouting.

She close door gentle, but the pain loud for my chest.

E be like say I just repeat Ifeoma matter again.

I dey wonder if my village people dey follow me, or na just my own foolishness.

Why, sef?

I dey ask God, I dey ask myself. The answer no dey come.

Why Ifeoma go seduce me? Why she go set me up, even use her own body?

For this Naija, e get as e be. Family get wahala, but this one pass my power.

Na just to collect me from her sister?

I dey reason say if na competition, e no reach this level. She get plenty guys wey dey trip for her.

I call Ifeoma—phone still off. That girl no dey ever keep her phone on.

I dey dial, the thing dey go voicemail. I dey curse MTN, but I know say na she just off am.

If I think am well, Ifeoma na one kind girl. She dey come and go anyhow, no dey follow any pattern.

Sometimes she fit disappear for days, then come back dey do like nothing happen.

She fit really like me?

I dey shake head. The thing no fit enter my mind.

No way. We never see reach like that. The only thing na that mistake kiss.

If not for that kiss, we for no even get wahala.

Na craze? She fall for me after that?

Some girls get coconut head, but Ifeoma own na granite.

As I dey reason am, Ifeoma send me WhatsApp message.

The message pop for my phone, my heart skip.

[So, brother-in-law? E sweet to dey do secret, abi?]

Her DP na selfie for bathroom. I hiss, reply quick.

[You dey mad?]

I no even know if to laugh or vex.

[You don sleep with my sister, come sleep with me. No be every man dream be that?]

Her words dey bite. I dey fear, but I dey vex.

[Abeg, explain give your sister.]

I type am sharp. I no wan do messenger for their fight.

[Okay, tomorrow morning 8 o’clock, Palm Grove Park. Make we talk face to face.]

The thing surprise me. I dey fear wetin she fit get for mind, but I know say I no get choice.