Chapter 2: Who Wan Throway Cat?

Make I throway am?

I siddon for my office desk, mind dey heavy me.

That thought dey bite me for chest like mosquito for harmattan. My belle just dey do one kind. Even the AC no fit cool me down.

To talk true, I don dey notice say my cat get wahala since. E no be like other people kittens. Yes, e fine, but the kind sharpness and wickedness wey dey e eyes no fit hide. After all, na cat e be.

If person see am for Instagram, you go think say na angel. But if you sabi animal, you go know say e get another plan.

Other people kittens, if dem happy, dem go dey rub body for their owner. Na their own way to mark territory—like say dem dey tell other cats: “Na my human be this, make una no near!”

Some even dey purr so tey, you go think say dem dey pray. My neighbor Mama Ifeoma go always dey boast: "My own Pickles na angel—e dey follow me everywhere like pikin."

But my own cat different.

E dey come rub body for me too, but only when I don sleep. E go first use head push me small, see say I no move, then e go press e whole body for my own, small small—as if e dey use body measure my size.

E no dey ever do am when light dey, only night. Na that kain style wey dey make person dey fear say juju dey involved.

Anytime e notice say e don grow pass before, e go dey happy, like say e dey count days till e big enough to chop me.

I swear, sometimes when e finish, e go jump down, stretch body, look me, then waka like say e win small battle.

Even the way e dey look different from other kittens. When I dey look am, e go quiet, even dey do like say e no sabi anything, just dey cute. But once I look another side, e eyes go dey my neck, my lap—those places wey person dey vulnerable. Just like wild animal wey dey study how e go take catch prey, e dey find where e go strike.

If you be sharp person, you go notice. Na only when I catch e eye for mirror, I go see that hunter look. Dem dey talk say cat get two faces—one for human, one for e spirit.

Na that time I remember: na cat be the real king for animal kingdom. Lion and tiger sef na big cat dem be, abi?

For Naija, we dey fear lion pass, but who know say your small house cat get the same wicked blood?

But make I really throway am?

This question dey jam my head like generator wey wan knock engine. Cat wey I don dey carry for back since e small? E no too easy.

I don raise am for two years now. Even though e always dey do like say e wicked, apart from that thumbtack wahala, e never really harm me.

The time wey e sick that year, na me carry am go vet. We even sleep together sometimes for cold night. After all, e still be my animal.

I remember that time harmattan cold wire me, na this cat curl for my chest—like say e dey protect me.

I come tell my padi Musa, wey study animal science for school, about my worry.

Musa na real area boy, but e sabi book join. If you see am for street, you no go believe say e fit talk animal talk reach that.

After e think small, e ask me, “You think say cat and dog na the same thing?”

The question surprise me, but I just nod. “No be both of dem be pet? If you wan break am down, one na cat, one na dog.”

For my mind, pet na pet. But Musa na correct person—e no dey talk rubbish.

Musa just look me with side-eye. “You dey talk anyhow.”

I just keep quiet, no wan collect insult.

But Musa continue. “But make I yarn you, cat and dog get big difference.”

That side-eye, you go fear. You go think say I talk say garri and rice na the same thing.

E explain say, “The main difference na how dem take domestic. Dog don really dey used to human, but cat never reach that level. E mean say cat fit really try finish you.”

“As for how you go know which animal don domestic, e simple: wild dog and house dog no be the same, but wild cat and house cat almost the same. Dog wey dey house don get all the behavior wey fit human life—dem no too dey aggressive, dem no too like hunt alone. But cat? Even house cat still get wildness. E normal for cat to dey catch rat. If dog catch rat, e no go chop am—but cat go chop. Na the wild spirit wey dey their body—like say dem get small bush animal inside dem, no matter how you pamper.”

E talk am well. I remember our neighbor dog, Thunder, wey dey fear firecracker but go still protect you if thief enter. Cat no send anybody.

“So for dog mind, human na oga. But for cat, you just be another animal wey cross e path. If food finish, your cat fit reason say to survive, e need to chop you. Or if e just vex for one reason, e fit decide say you go.”

I reason am. Dog go bark if e see stranger, but cat fit just go hide. For cat, you be housemate, no be master.

“To us, we just dey raise cat dey pamper am. But for wild cat mind, na prison you put am.”

Musa get point. Sometimes, the way my cat dey look window, e go be like say e dey dream another life.

Musa raise hand. “You dey fear say your cat wan finish you? No surprise me. Wetin you talk fit happen to any cat.”

Musa voice just cool, like say e dey talk weather report. "Abeg, no trust cat reach. Dog na friend, but cat na spirit."

I ask Musa wetin I go do. E answer with serious face, “Cover the cat eye, block e ear. Carry am far from your house. Make sure say you clean everywhere wey e scent dey, both house and road. If not, e fit come back and wahala fit happen.”

As e talk, I remember old stories wey people dey yarn about cat wey go travel from Kaduna reach Ibadan just to come back house. Dem get spirit.