Chapter 3: Cat Wahala for Lagos

E really bad reach like that?

I dey ask myself, "Abi Musa dey exaggerate?" My mind dey tumble like bean for blender. If person dey talk true, this cat never harm me. Abi na overthinking?

As I dey go house, I dey think. My cat dey do like say e sharp, but e never harm me before. I never sure wetin to do, so I say make I go house first, see as e be.

The bus dey crawl for third mainland, my mind no gree rest. Rain dey slap window, conductor dey shout "Oshodi, last bus stop!" but na cat matter dey my head.

As I enter, my cat jump down from sofa, waka round me once, then as usual, go lie down for sofa.

E sniff my trouser, tail stand small. I fit smell the faint scent of fish wey I buy for road. Cat just dey observe, eye dey follow every move.

I pull phone, pretend say I dey watch video, but na the cat I dey eye for corner. I notice say e sef dey peep me. But because I dey look through my phone camera, e no know say I dey watch am.

Na sharp boy I be—no let animal wise pass me. The cat dey preen e fur, but I see as e dey use eye dey monitor me like security man for bank.

The look wey e give me make cold catch my body. E be like say e dey check if I don see the CCTV video. This cat too wise.

E stare hard, like two people dey play chess. E blink slow, then look away.

As e see say I no shake, e calm down.

I act like say I no notice anything. Just dey arrange my bag, enter kitchen, dey whistle old Sunny Ade song.

But inside me, I dey battle. If I keep this cat, anything fit happen.

You fit call am fear or sense, but something for my mind dey shout make I no dull.

I think am well, begin pack e litter box and other things. The cat sense say something dey, e jump come hold body for me, mind dey run. I fit feel say e dey vex—e eye get one kind sharpness, like say e fit attack me any time.

E hiss small, tail puff up like broom. I drop the box, try talk am calm. "Oya na, come, no vex."

But next thing, e change, begin do gentle, even waka come lick the back of my hand. Ragdoll cat dey fine already, and when e look you with those big eyes dey do like say e dey beg, I begin soft.

As e purr, my heart just dey weak. I remember that time wey I sick, na this same cat curl for my body. Wahala no dey finish.

E even turn belly up, dey ask make I rub am. But e no know say the more e do this, the more e dey fear me. Cat wey just dey show gra gra, maybe na bad temper. But this one? Na sweet for mouth, knife for hand.

Na real "better soup, na money kill am" situation. My head dey spin.

I no doubt say if e catch say I wan abandon am, e go hold am for mind forever.

Cat no dey forgive like dog o. If you offend am, e go dey mark you—next time, e fit just chop your charger cable for night.

Remembering Musa advice, I know say I no fit act anyhow. So I just pet e belly, pretend say I dey clean e litter box. After I finish, I put everything back.

I dey act movie. My hand dey shake, but I dey smile like say nothing dey happen. Na only person wey get stubborn goat for house go sabi this kain fear.

The cat dey look me with suspicion, but e still go back sofa as usual.

E curl for one corner, tail cover e face. But I know say e dey peep. I waka go window, e head follow me. Nothing pass this cat.

I still dey reason wetin to do—maybe I go call Musa again. As I dey down, I go cook dinner.

The smoke of egusi soup fill the house. I dey cut ugwu leaf, still dey think. I never get headway. Life dey somehow.

Just as I finish, I hear one loud cry from the other room. I rush go see my cat for ground, dey shout. I check, na thumbtack prick e paw.

As I see blood, my mouth just shout, "Chineke!"

Na so my heart fly. E dey me like say e be pikin wey wound. I grab towel, wrap am, dey beg, "Sorry na, sorry."

I rush carry am go animal hospital. After doctor treat am, e put am for cage, come ask me, “How this one take happen? Your cat no too get sense?”

Doctor na old man from Benue, e no dey laugh anyhow. E just dey look me, eyebrow up.

I frown. “No o, my cat sabi well well.”

Doctor say, “Then make you check am well. Cat dey sharp—if dem step thumbtack, dem dey jump comot sharp sharp. E no suppose enter deep like this.”

E look me eye to eye. "Oga, cat wey get brain go dodge that thing."

I just dey look am, no fit explain say na the cat dey plan all this wahala.

Suddenly, doctor look me serious. “Oga, abeg, you dey maltreat your cat? If you no want am again, I fit help you find new owner.”

Me wey dey buy whiskas and sardine for this animal—see as world turn.

I shake head say I never touch am before. But fear begin catch me. Na the cat drop the thumbtack. E see say I wan abandon am, e arrange all this. Abi na plan—injure itself?

Mind begin run marathon. Wetin I go tell people? Cat wey sabi act pass Nollywood?

I slowly open my CCTV footage…

Hand dey shake as I dey scroll the app. My mouth dry, but I must know the truth.